"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Wednesday, October 07, 2015

Wounded Past

For the things you do and don’t do, there maybe a reason or two or maybe none. You just do something as if an invisible hand just made you do it. When we are done we realize it through the after effects.
A friend of mine pretty boastful said she doesn’t need someone in her life to be alive. The concept of talking everyday with boy-friend is something which isn’t possible in reality she said. The girl and the guy both need space in their life. 

These were her thoughts when she first talked about love, girlfriend and boyfriend. She said once she had a boyfriend and that was it. She likes her current state of singlehood.

I didn’t probe her to give more and neither did she willingly disclose anymore information.
This was the story of the second day of us being acquainted with each other. We were walking back home together as we lived nearby. I bid her a goodbye and left on one of the ways in the fork.

She talked way too much for my liking. I met her almost everyday but somehow I got used to with her chatter, after sometime her talking didn’t bother me so much. She got really close to me. She shared things and a secret or two.

One fine day I got a little bit more of her previous love story. But I knew that was not all.
She has become committed once more and this time it was her best friend. They knew each other but understanding seemed a whole different ball game in their relation.

She wants to talk to him everyday. Her changed sentence was that she cannot live without him in her life. When she is not able to talk to him even a day, she becomes very anxious.

I see her and think that what is affecting her this much. Her face is completely pale and it seems she hasn’t slept all week. She tells me they are not able to talk.

I think there is something more but then again maybe I am reading in too much.

Today it happened so that I wasn’t wrong after all. It was her previous relation which affected her today so much. She told me she wants to be informed that someone is going out of her life.
I ask her the reason of breakup in her previous relation.
Her answer was 

He never told me, he just went away. He did not respond to my message and did not talk to me. He just left.”

The guy is precious in her life, her current relation is her heart. She doesn’t want to loose the guy. She doesn’t want to be hanging and left without any reason.

Each day that she can’t talk with him, she thinks maybe he is on the way to leave her. She says maybe he deserves much better than her.

I tried to console her with words and told her that nothing of that sort will happen. That maybe the previous breakup had something good for future. But she is shaken too deep. Her wound is yet not healed. I hope she gets over someone who did not deserve her. I hope he heals her past.