"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

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Saturday, November 27, 2010

That winter day..

Shyla was waiting that day for her very special mail. No it was not an E-mail (as most of you must’ve thought in this tech-savvy world),it was to be a letter from a very special person.

She was really small at that time when her teacher pointed out to her.You..she looked amazed as she couldn't think how was she being called out from the whole class of 50 students and that too by her new class teacher.It was the batch of 1987-1988. She stood up and replied “Yes mam”.Her teacher said “You are pretty good at singing aren't you, I have heard you sing in many competitions and festivals though you never have sung a single song in the school.” She looked at her teacher surprised. Yes she has sung quite a number of songs in the functions and competitions of the colonies held on some special festivals but she never thought someone might have noticed her so intently.

She was not sure of giving a yes in front of so many students in her class. She liked to be alone and never did she mix up with any girl in her class. But she had a best friend named Neha who exclaimed out after some moments of pause “Yes mam she sings really well.” Now Shyla was not in a position to say no as her best friend had announced of the thing in the class.

Her class teacher was evidently there music teacher. She was in class ninth at that time and the students were asked out to fill in the information regarding what would they like as there extra-curricular activity. Shyla filled in interior decoration as she was being accompanied by her best friend there. When there classes started off after the summer vacations, the first day they had last two periods of activity(extra that they have chosen). Names were being called out for each student to go in their respective activities. The list of interior decoration was finished and never did name of Shyla was said. She asked her mam and she replied “Shyla you are in the music activity”. Again she was left in amazement. Neha was happy for her and convinced her to accept their teacher’s decision .She started learning what ever was taught to her. She loved music from a very small age only and hummed herself some songs basically when she was stressed out and wanted to become one with herself. Now this was something else to sing in front of your mam and some students. There were five students in the class of music including her.  Her teacher knew about her singing as she lived in their locality only and one day she asked Shyla in the school to visit her place.

She walked in that evening to Mrs. Nathans place, She greeted her with a good evening and she instructed her to sit down. Then she asked Shyla “Are you afraid of singing in front of your teacher and the girls who know you? Your classmates I mean”
She smiled a bit uneasily and let out a sigh. So Mrs. Nathan gave in more subtle hints as to she really wanted her talent to grow and unfurl into something big and deserving for her.
She began saying “I like to sing for the once I know who would accept me and my classmates….There was a long paused moment and Mrs. Nathan said continue Shyla.She began again “They have never accepted me as I am besides neha and she is my best friend and I am afraid of the teasing and disgrace that they would shower me with” Mrs. Nathan said “hmm there seems to be a big problem in there, if you are afraid of rejection then you won’t rise my dear”.

She held her breathe and said with a heaviness in her words “I wish to sing in front of you but I won’t like it in front of even those 4 students in the music class.” Mrs. Nathan smiled and said “ Oh! That’s wonderful I will give you classes in my home but I won’t charge you and you should be regular.If you are ready for this deal then I accept your beginning.” Shyla was unusually happy and she said “yes”

And after that day she had begun her journey, she learnt her voice of soul more deeply with Mrs. Nathan. They were never friendly and didn’t knew about each others family, they just connected on the ground of music. May be they never felt they should know more than with what they would connect with each other. It was a very chilly winter evening and Mrs. Nathan had been keeping unwell for a while these days. Now Shyla was in class twelfth and she didn’t knew how she had covered so many years with Mrs. Nathan.Wrapped up in a leather jacket Shyla showed up on the door on the very date of 14-December-1990. Mrs. Nathan’s daughter opened the door. Madhumita(as her mam used to call out to her daughter sometimes) in age of 22 was a beautiful lady with curly,black hairs, and a sweet voice. She told Shyla to wait for sometime as today her mother would take some time to come to that room as she was unwell. She sat down and for the first time she really noticed her surrounding, the music room of Mrs. Nathan. It was beautifully decorated with portraits of ladies holding different instruments adorned on a cream color wall. The mats were arranged in a very simple and neat fashion. As she was going to look at the tanpura kept on her side she saw Mrs. Nathan coming. Mrs. Nathan smiled at her and asked “ how is the winter treating you my dear?” She smiled back and replied “ Mrs. Nathan I love the winters”. Mrs. Nathan said “oh! That’s wonderful even I enjoy winters very much but this time the winter is being cruel to me.” First time in the long course of time they had talked something besides music. Mrs. Nathan said I shall not be able to teach you today but I want to talk to my long taught student. “How are your preparations for the boards this time Shyla?” She replied “I have covered all the chapters in the course book but still have the need of revision at this point of time. You are a good student aren’t you.I have seen you perform very well in the ninth standard that I was your class teacher.” Shyla shyly replied “mam that wasn’t the best by me”. Mrs. Nathan laughed and said “so what you will be? Rising sensation in the world of singing? I assure you ,Your mother and father will be proud of you.” Tears began to float in eyes of Shyla. Mrs. Nathan was worried and instantly said “why are your eyes streaming up my dear?”

Shyla replied “ I have been brought up by my big sister from the age of 7 years and I lost my parents in an accident” And her voice was choked after that and Mrs. Nathan put her arms around Shyla and hugged her consoling like a mother. She said to Mrs. Nathan “this is a really special winter day as I feel your warmth as that of my mother I have felt that ten years before.” That day onwards Mrs. Nathan became her mother and she asked about any problem that she might had have and treated her like her daughter. She got so much from Mrs. Nathan that she didn’t want neither of them to be separated by the stroke of destiny and time. That Christmas Shyla spent a warm, happy, loving day with her mam whom now she called ma and she was also accompanied by her big sister Parul. Mrs. Nathan treated Parul all the more same as Shyla. But Shyla had created a special place in Mrs. Nathan’s heart that winter.

Today it has been twenty years, and by the stroke of time and destiny Shyla had to go away from her ma, she was dilapidated that day it was another happy day of winter and it was going to be the new year in some moments when her ma exclaimed “this new year I want to give you a surprise my dear.” She asked “what is it ma?” She replied “I have been called up by a very famous music artist of down south but he gives music for hindi films too. And I had some cassettes of your melodious voice that I recorded and had sent them to him. He has chosen you to sing for an album and this would give you a nice break.” As the clock struck twelve and it turned the date 1-jan-1995 she was left in a dilemma. She didn’t want her ma’s dream of seeing Shyla as a singer be broken and as well as she didn’t wanted to move away from her. Now it was daily routine to visit her ma as a worshipper visits pilgrimage each day without a miss. She thought of that winter day when she was given a new life by getting a mother and today the day in winter when she had to make a hard choice. And the result was as obvious to her she was sent by her ma to the planned place and her sister Parul was in complete union and consent for her sister to become something. Now it has been almost five years away from her ma and she has overcome the fear of rejection in these years marking upon the words of her ma.
And today is the same winter date 14-December-2000(just that the year has changed but not the feeling of that special day) that she had called Mrs. Nathan her ma and was waiting for her ma’s letter. It came really late than Shyla thought and her bubbles of thoughts dissolved when the post-man was on the door. She hurried off to the post-man and signed as soon as possible to get her letter. This was one of the fixed day that she knew that she would receive a letter. She tore open the envelope and took out the letter to read.

              This is Madhumita writing the letter this time. I have known you for so long and you have become like a sister to me the day my mother decided to make you her daughter. She always used to talk about you when she felt a bit unwell, about that winter day (which is today as you receive the letter). Her eyes used to light up whenever she used to talk about you. The day she sent you down in Bangalore, she had a smile on her face, but as soon as you left she cried like a baby. But that pain was nothing in front of the hope of seeing you as a successful girl as you are today. You have become a great sensation now; from the time you had started your career she used to tell away all the people that see that’s my daughter. You had a huge concert in Mumbai last week and you couldn’t contact her on Sunday the same week. She told me not to dial your number even when she was counting on her last breathes. I couldn’t go against her will. She was awfully unwell this week and she had some last words for you saying “Shyla now I know that people have accepted you whole-heartedly and you are no more afraid of rejection and I am happy that I could get such a priceless position of mother in your life. And I want you to know that the day you entered my class in ninth standard I knew you were to become something and I am really proud that you didn’t let my insights go wrong. I love you my dear and shall always be present with you in your heart and soul and you shall not hesitate of being rejected and you shall see that you would rise much more higher than the stars.”
These were the last words from her mouth and she died. I have the same grievance as you might be having right now and I wish you to accompany me this winter day.


By the time she had read the contents she had the same amount of tears welling her eyes up as she had that winter day…..And now she hurried to the place of her ma as soon as she could to see her face the last time and accompany her sister Madhumita this winter day and to give her the warmth and compassion that once Mrs. Nathan had given her.

 There have been many days in my life,,
Some go gloomy, others turn gay.
Your delicious dosa and chutney,
And I made those horrible idli’s that day.
The day I got you Mrs. Nathan in my life .
The day you taught me the song notes right.
All days have been very dear with you,
But none such as that winter day.
When I called you ma and ,
Even got some words from you ,
Bidding me only a earthly good bye..

Friday, November 26, 2010

Not another day..

Tattered and shattered my love feels,

the parky wind follows in suit.

I cover my bare shoulders with my hand ,
missing your comfortable hug ,
that reassuring smile,
the tete-a-tete we had even just for a while.
Did you know me? did i know you?
I loved you so more and more!!
My smile lost,eyes only cry
Stained my cheeks smile seems distant thought.
I won't let anything get close
If lonely is to be
I would be silent
Hear you each day
Be with you each day 
Feel you each day
Love you each day
Embrace you each day
But won't live another day....

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Five Star..

One drop of blue it covered in peace,
One drop of brown it gave stability,
One drop of transparency seeps congeniality,
One drop of Red ignites desires,
One drop of purity it indulges true self.
The five styling elements,
Water,earth,air,fire and quintessence.
Shaping the cosmos as unique embodiment.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Pristine drops of hot liquid they fall,
smudged the corners of eyes go black,
the dark Kohl liquefying 
as they trace down their path..
A gentle caress from behind,
Two eyes meet one is gloomy, 
And one is streaked.
Gloomed with unending catastrophe.
Streaked with colors of happiness.
Disputatious the emotions mingle through.
Towers of anxiety cracks apart,
Reigns the serene ray of heart.
Clasping in warmth,
intermingling the clefts,
Splash of white fill the saturnine depths..

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Broken wings..

Broken but still riding on,
She believes it's not the end.
But the circumstances force her to shatter.
Conduit is the mighty storm that has raged,
Decimating at every inch and step,
Still a bit remains and it is the core she knows.
Her palpitating heart which is bleeding, 
Breathing hard its so confined.
Her eyes fluttering,hands shaking,
Lips are cracked and thirsty is the throat.
She is deteriorating with each falling hour,
Fragmenting like the puzzled fractals.
Affinity of positive and negative is hard to choose,
She is too hollow to respond and be true.
And the unending silence prevails to rule the rest..


This is a feeling of a lover divided in three portions..interlinked with each other but still not in continuation..Is differently written after every line break..But conveying only one feeling from the bottom of the heart and that is love.

अश्क यूँ फना हुए नज़रों से, 
उन्हें उनमें ख़ुशी दिखी |
हम रोए उनकी याद में ,
उन्हें दिलदारी दिखी| 
हम तो न थे ऐसे हमने कहा, 
वो बोले हमारी नहीं है ये खता | 
बेवफ़ा की तरह वो मुडके चल दिए, 
लव्ज़ जो थे होंठो पर सजाए,
वो वहीँ रह गए|
कहने को हम आप से यूँ कहते-- 
की कितना चाहते हैं हम आपको, 
आपके बिन बोले जान निसार करदे आप पर, 
जब चाहे मांग लो |
आप अगर चले जाओ तो कुदरत को छोड़ , 
आसमान में हम साथ देंगे .. 
भगवान भी न रोक पाएगा, 
ऐसा पैगाम देंगे |
दबे हुए हैं ये अलफ़ाज़ सुन सके तो ऐए दीवाने ..
आप चाहते हैं किसी ओर को टूट कर, 
खुश देखना चाहते हैं उससे हरपल |
हमे मालुम है, 
वो है आपकी आँखों की चमक, 
दिल में बसी कसक ..दुल्हन के सर पर सजी कुमकुम जैसी..  
हर धड़कन है आपकी बस उसके नाम से| 
हमने समझा आपको ..वो आपको छोड़के चल दिए 
दिल में कैद कर रखा है ये तूफ़ान जो आपने,
उसमें यूँ न बह जाइए,
उतर जाये अगर ये तूफ़ान तो हम सह लेंगे बिना उफ़ किए |
आप गम्हीन लगते हैं, 
दिल में कैद है आपकी आँखों की वो नमी, 
हम देखते हैं उसे..दुआ करते हैं वो हमे मिल जाए,  
आप कभी न ऐसे सिसके |
मन ही मन में आप बड़ा रोया करते हैं, 
एहसास है हमे की, गम छिपाया करते हैं इन नज़रों तले|
पर आप ये क्यूँ न समझे,
रंग है हज़ार सिर्फ आपसे ..जहाँ का हसीं निहार रहे आपसे..|
क्यूँ न समझे आप हमे दिल तोड़कर चल दिए, 
अश्क बेहते थे जो वो हमारे भी दब्ब गए ||

Sunday, November 14, 2010

The enigma

Enlightening hues putting in a fire,

My heart and soul are on top of desires.
Captivating glance of your mesmerizing eyes.

The cool breeze attitude bearing you thrive.

You come across my eyes i see you.
The enrapturing aura that you possess,
Divulges infinite numbers of spells,
dissipating in every direction they fly.
Some go close,some choose to remain far behind.
Enkindling a tear in some thoughtful eyes.
Together with enunciating rules for thy.
You become logan; 
or melting through the crevices 
like drops of falling quicksilver liquid.
You gulp down the universe
as well as create a huge cosmos,
galore of deeds perform throughout.
Like nova you act at extremes all time.
Winkle out eukephalin or
make the surround gay as you go about.
Passion-fruit sometimes
or become the none.
Its all your power you keep
on experimenting ever after.
Don't give a damn if
others react or remain to shun.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

ज़िन्दगी का रुख मुड गया ..

ज़िन्दगी कुछ इस कदर बदलने लगी ,
फूल से पतझड़ की ओर चलने लगी |
रोका हमने हाथो को थामकर ,

पीछे मुडके हाथ

 छुड़ा गयी,
हम थे वहीँ देखते उसको हर लम्हा जब वो चली ,

कुछ फूल अपने से अलग किये थे ,
फिर पत्ते भी छोड़ गयी|
खाली बिलकुल हो गयी जब वो ,दुनिया हमे छोड़ गयी |

हम तो न थे ऐसे शोक में कभी ,
पता नहीं गम इस जिंदगानी में शामिल कैसे हो गयी| 
महफ़िल रंगीन थी कुछ चंद लम्हात पहले  ,

हसीं धुन गूंजी थी हवा में ,
कैसे ये शाम गम्हीन हो गयी| 
अभी तो हम थे उन खुशगवार लम्हों में ,
हाय हमसे ये कैसी हिमाकत हुई |

चले फिर हम जोड़ने धागे ज़िन्दगी से, 
कमबख्त डोर ही ख़तम हो गयी .....

Monday, November 08, 2010

Illusion or Love?

I come across the
Little grudges I may have
Lowered upon
Us in this relation.
Stark our passion becomes
Indiscreet without our knowledge.
Offering the present ,sheer
Numbness once and forever..


Long and lingering feel of
Obscure attachment I
Visualize with you in
Every sphere i establish Us ..

Friday, November 05, 2010

Plucked flower..

The poem does not contain the object as i described.The object of fancy is a human> A girl that is described as the self plucked flower. They chance upon each other in a beautiful winter morning to be united forever by the grace of nature.

In the morning breeze he stepped out,
Hugging himself as winter parky winds surrounded.
Staring wide-eyed at the beautiful white flower,
Longing to reach it inside the heart's musing.
Every step is hard to put forth,
As chill of the season numbs the soul.
Close to the flower
He reaches standing beneath.
Munificent the self plucked flower, 
Falls in his hand to his disbelief.
Impeccable the serene self plucked flower seems,
Absorbing his numbed soul in its warmth it heals.
Unusual connection he chances upon,
He and the Plucked flower were forever bound.

Thursday, November 04, 2010

Have to move on..

It was the village of Dahmash, approximately 20 kilometers from Tel Aviv between the cities of Ramle and Lod in central Israel. There lived The family of Badra and Falak with there two children Husna and Hiyam. Husna was 17 and Hiyam was 10 years old. Like her name Husna was the most beautiful girl in the whole of the village. Her mother used to advice her every time she used to step out of the house “Wear your hijab Husna” to which she used to reluctantly reply “Let everyone see what they might never see again in their life.” Her mother used to murmur something under her breath and pull her back to herself and make her wear the hijab. She told her mother while stepping out “I am going to invite Farida khalah(aunty) and family to the feast you are organizing today evening ammi(mother) jaan.”
Then she used to rush through the muddy uneven path to Isar’s house where his mother used to welcome her with a huge hug and kiss on the forehead. Farida Isar’s mother asked Husna “would you mind having the Iftar(breakfast) with us?” She humbly said no-no I am full had my breakfast just now. And then racing her eyes all over the place finally asked Farida “Where is Isar, khalah?” She smiled looking at the young, notorious and yet innocent Husna and replied “there in that room make your way through.”
She stepped inside the way khalah pointed to her and she greeted Isar with a marhaba(Hello) to which he replied saying wa alaykum al salam(reply to hello) . So he said what brought you here my ameera ? She blushed at the way he described her as and said Amijaan  will be hosting a feast today evening and you are also to be there with your abbu(father) and ammi. He said “Husna today night I have lots of work from office that I have to finish.” She pouted her lips,making a face like a angry baby and sat on the corner of the bed. He set aside the paper and pen and said “Don’t be angry, If my ameera(Princess) is angry then how will I do my work?” and finally agreeing to what she said he bowing his head in front of husna said “ok I will come with my ammi and abbu, Now will you forgive me my ameera?” She looked at him through the corner of her eyes and said "Musaamah"(forgiven). He hugged her and bade her ma salaama(goodbye) with a promise of meeting her in the evening. Before closing the door behind for leaving the house she said to Farida “Khalah jaan do come to the feast tonight with amu(uncle) and Isar.”
And after going to home back She stood in front of the mirror and looked at her eyes. They were big and pretty with long eye lash. Her face was like a calm river flowing gently in light reflecting sun hues. A delicate pink lip ,sharp nose, skin like a fresh dough made out of flour, speaking eyes, and a oval outlining of the face.
She took out the best dress she had in her trunk and it was a long flowing ahmar(red) color gown of silk. She took out a necklace which was intricately designed with pearls gifted to her by her Jadd(grandfather). She applied Kohl on her eyelids, pink lipstick on her lips and that was enough for her to kill anyone. She then heard her ammi calling out to her “Husna would you help me with the desserts now, come fast I am waiting for you.” She went outside the house near the well that they had in the courtyard and took out a pail of water. She took some water cupping her hands from the bucket and splashed it on her face, then wiping away the remaining kohl and lipstick with the end of her duppata running to her ammi. They prepared exotic Baklava and halva. Husna said “ammi now can I leave I have to get ready for the feast, you also go get ready, I will get Hiyam ready and have you informed abbu to be back in time?”
Her mother bit her tongue and said “I forgot to inform your abbu to be back from work soon.” “Ammi now go nothing can be done we will manage the guests till abbu arrives.” Her mother goes into her and Badra’s room and simultaneously Husna goes into her and Hiyam’s room undressing herself out of the salwar kameez she had been wearing which was now very sweaty, then dressing herself in the attire she had chosen for the feast she looked ravishing, then as she did earlier she did now too applying the lipstick and kohl.Lastly wearing the exquisite pearl necklace. She began searching for Hiyam in the courtyard. As soon as she saw him, she goes to him and pulls him by his ears saying “You didn’t knew we have a feast today at our place, look at you how dirty you are looking covered in this mud. Now come over here near the well I will get you bathed and clean once again you dirty brat.” And she scrubbed him real hard splashing huge amounts of water and with each scrub he was saying “Husna akht(Sister) please have a little mercy on my skin.” She was going on doing what she was doing intently without feeling to have a need to answer his akh(brother). She Then wrapped him up in the cloth hanging beside for drying his body and took him inside. She then took out a bottle from the slab line on the wall and applying it to the skin of Hiyam she said “Look at you nawab zade(prince) Hiyam you are being applied with itr.” He looked up at her and said “Shukran(thank you) akht Husna.” She giggled and said “Hmm.. You are getting old and wise Hiyam akh.” Then she put on the best cloth of Hiyam on him according to her and he kept on complaining of not having his favorite this and that accompanying his dress. She looked sternly with her big wide eyes gravely at Hiyam and he became quite. As the sun set towards the west Husna checked the arrangement outside there house of the tables and chairs and the snacks with which the guests would begin. Her ammi also came out ready and looking tough competitor of beauty for the other middle aged ladies that were to join the feast today evening. As the guests started approaching Falak wished everyone with a marhaba. And after sometime Husna’s abbu also came in and changed and got out to greet the guests. Hiyam started to play with the children of his age-group. But Husna was eagerly waiting for the one’s whom she had personally gone and invited. Soon she saw Farida khalah coming with Azhaar amu. She welcomed them gladly asking where is Isar to which fairda khalah replied that "he would be a little late.” She was not happy with this news but did not let that sadness come on her face. Each guest talking with Husna’s ammi and abbu said “That husna was looking very beautiful and if they have any plan for her marriage.” To which pleasantly her ammi and abbu replied “no, not now, we will let our ameera choose for herself.”
Everyone was happy to see the dishes prepared –Aish Bel-lahm(Bread with Meat) , Yalanchi (Stuffed tomatoes), Ablama(Stuffed eggplant), Ruz bil-loz wa bil-tamar(Rice with almonds and dates), dajaj(Chicken), Blehat lahma(Lamb loaves with apricots and egg) etc.
No one knew what this feast was for actually and before everyone raised there Qahwa Arabeya(Arabic coffee) for the toast in place of “Jaam” as Husna had this rule built in her house that she wanted no drinking around, they asked what this feast was exactly for? They(Badra and falak) broke the paused moment of silence announcing that their daughter Husna has turned 18 after all and that called for this celebration. Husna blushed at the mention of it and partly cause she knew that she became a lady officially now. She was eagerly waiting for Isar but no trace was there of Isar as the guests were about to begin the feast. Finally as they were biding there ma salama to Husna’s parents Isar arrived half panting, half smiling his eyes searching for Husna. She saw him and called out to him as she knew for whom he was looking for. Isar now composed himself with his gait walk came to Husna and presented a sparkling diamond ring saying this is for my ameera. The guests who were left to go were stunned seeing such a priced jewelry being gifted. Isar looked at all and smiled to which others again focused there attention on what they were actually doing. Husna saw the ring in his hand which was slowly being pushed in her fingers to which she resenting said "Husna doesn’t take such gifts from the people who come late to a feast for whom she has personally invited them." He kneeling down on his knees said "My ameera this last time forgive me and I shall never give you a chance to complain." Husna giggled and said "okey well as I can see you are quiet intelligent and know that diamonds are a girls best friend so I pardon you and now you can stand up and wish me too." He looked at her face clueless, She said "so you don’t know what this feast is for and why you have brought me this gift?" He nodded his head disapprovingly and looked with his innocent eyes in her eyes. Tears began to flood in her eyes and she was about to cry on such a special day of hers when suddenly Isar said "oh no my ameera I was just pulling your leg please don’t cry. I know it’s your birthday and my ameera has turned 18 and adult officially." Hugging her he wished her Happy birthday young lady. Her face brightened up with a smile and they ate their dinner together and Isar and his family were the last to bid them ma salaama. When their parents weren’t looking Isar bend forward kissing husna on her forehead saying take care my ameera. They didn’t notice but Naughty hiyam was there watching all. As the dishes were cleaned tables and chairs put back in there normal positions back they retired to their room for some rest. Hiyam pulled at his akht’s duppatta’s corner and said I saw you and Isar when the feast was over.. He kissed you didn’t he akht?..She looked at him sternly and said badmaash(naughty)..What were you looking at us for?.. Hiyam laughed and said TisbaH 'ala kher(good night).
 She closed her eyes with sweet dreams in her eyes. Suddenly at 1:00 am she heard loud footsteps and someone breaking the latch of the door. She was alert and sat up on her bed. She stood up and peeked from behind the curtains she saw the gang of goons that were entering in the house of her ammi and abu. She looked back at hiyam and was afraid that they would eventually enter their room too. She covered Hiyam with a blanket so as he was not in the eyes of the goons. She took a heavy vase of iron and silently moved toward the room of her parents, She saw that they had kept her abu on gunpoint and instructed her ammi to take out all the valuables they had. She got behind one of the member of the gang and hit hard on the head with the vase and he cried with pain. This was enough to make the others notice the presence of Husna in the room. Three members moved towards her she was aiming the vase at one but how many she could hit with just one vase. She hit one and two approached her. Caught her hands and she screamed in pain. She tried hard to free herself. While her abbu was going restless and he saw the leader of the gang’s attention was diverted and he threw the gun out of his hand. And the one who was saying Falak to take out all the stuffs fired the gun at Badra . Falak cried in horror. And Husna became still at the site. Her mother moved towards Husna to get her free from the goons. The leader of the gang stopped her and caught her by the dupatta and she was out of breath. They strangled it hard on her neck. Husna tried hard to get free from there grip but in no vain she was not successful. Her ammi also dies and she cried out “ammi..” Falak’s vision blurred slowly and she saw the four member of the gang with the leader advancing towards Husna and two other were lying unconscious on the floor. Hiyam was awakened by the scream of her Akht. He walked up slowly towards his parent’s room and saw that Husna’s hands were being tied with the beds end and two held her legs. The one who was the leader stared at her and laughed bending down on her he was kissing her cheeks then lips and she was trying hard to remove him. She was helpless and tears ran down her eyes. Her Kameez was being torn from the shoulder and then ripped from between. She lay their bare and terrified. Hiyam was shocked and he knew nothing better than rushing to Farida khalah’s house. He ran as fast as he could in the dark through the muddy road. He reached their house out of breathe and banging the door with all the efforts he could. Isar opened the door saying “what’s the mater Hiyam you are here at this point of time?” Hiyam explained everything to him as fast as he could narrate it. There in the house Husna was touched everywhere by each member of the gang and she felt humiliated more and more with each touch. She felt as if her soul was being ruined bit by bit. Her flesh trembled and she could feel herself shaking with the disgusting feeling that she was attacked with. Her salwar was removed and the thing Husna was proud of , Her beauty she thought may it never had been there. She remembered when her mother used to say Wear the Hijab and she used to reply Let everyone see what they might not see ever. She was raped violently and cruelly by each goon. She screamed but slowly her screaming also started going faint. The necklace she had been wearing was now torn and the pearls lay on the bed scattered.

When Hiyam arrived with Isar they both saw the goons undoing the knots of her hand and she laid there shaking. Isar was livid with anger and he advanced with his pistol towards the leader that he assumed was one and shot the gun right through his head. The others looked back at him and Hiyam hid behind Isar. The three of them took out there weapons ad well. But he had aimed already at one and shoot him down dead. Hiyam looked on his side and found the vase which before Husna carried until there. He threw it with all his might at one of them and it hit right on his head and he fell down groaning with pain and then lost his consciousness. The left member shoot Isar on his left hand and at the same time Isar shot him in his chest and he died. Isar held his hand firm and moved towards Husna. She looked at Isar and “said You are late” and smiled. Then endless stream of tears rolled of Isar’s cheek and Husna wiped them with her hand. She breathed heavy and said to Isar “I cannot live with what I have received just now and I just want one favor from you in the name of Allah”. Isar said softly “I promise I would fulfill the favor you ask of me”. Husna said “Please take care of Hiyam as if he is your Akh. Will you Isar? will you?” Isar promised her and shifting her head towards his arms he said "I won’t let you die Husna you cannot die without me." But she had by then took her last breathe, the days happening flashed in front of her eyes and that was the day when she had achieved a big phase in her relation with Isar and now there was nothing, nothing at all > No life, No more moments she could have felt the emollient touch of her abbu and ammi, She could not hug her akh once more and scold him anymore but She felt the love in Isar’s arms  and died in arms of Isar with a unusual contentment. Her eyes were wide open looking at Isar and he closed the lids of her eyes with his hand and cried out. Hiyam was too shocked to react and stood where he was falling on the ground with bend knees He could not believe her Abbu, ammi and akht had died now and no one was there to call his own. But by now Isar had kept Husna on bed straight and covered her with a white blanket. Moving towards Hiyam he held his hand and said “now I shall be whatever you want me to be and I have loved your akht , My ameera. I have lost her but I will keep my promise and will take care of you. You will be my Akh from now.” And Hiyam started crying after such a long paused moment that he witnessed in his life for the first time. And one more love was being snatched away from the ruthless surrounding of the Dahmash village. A mother, a father, a sister, a lover were snatched Leaving the bottom of the heart with utmost bitterness and hatred for every fellow people they lived with and doubted them to be some goon of a gang. But they had to move on and they moved together hand in hand towards the rising sun on the horizon trying to forgive and forget what has made their life go empty in some moments of one night. . . . .
P.S-Completely fictitious ..Just the name of the place has been used.

Monday, November 01, 2010

*.बुझ गई आग.*

जल उठा था हर कण उसकी सांसों से, 
महक उठी थी शाम उसकी बातो से|
आसमन में गहरी काली निशा खिल उठी  जब,
छलक उठा एक आसूं उसकी निगाहों  से|
दर्द था जो कोई बाँट न सका था उसका ,
अंधेरो से भर दिए जो चिराग सांसों ने जलाए थे..