"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

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Friday, March 24, 2023

Waning Moon

Every day is a heavy step forward. The mornings are not so welcoming but eyes open on their own. Waking up in the morning I turn off the alarm even before it can ring. The days are occupied with work and life rests on the back burner.

It pains me to know of the reality of relations. There is no sweet nothing, no reminisce and no memory. When you miss someone, you should let them know, or should you?

We are not slaves of habit, we are slaves of comfort. The knowledge that we can go on with this monotonous life and nobody will care enough to ask you if you are alright.
My heart desires to hear.. Everything will be alright.. But it has been ages since my ears have perked up to it and my heart fluttered to the feeling after. 

As the years add up and we grow old, it's one step closer towards the unavoidable heaviness. Heaviness resides in the mind, heart, body, attitude and slowly makes way to the ephemeral soul.

Is it so hard to care? To love? To give company? To just be present? Maybe my longings and desires have always been flawed. It hurts to know but i can see the waning moon from my starry night.

Monday, March 20, 2023

Listen. .

I wish i could leave you my love

But my heart, is a mess.. 

And you keep making it messier. I want you to stop pushing me away from you, I don't say it in words. My tears tell you that all the time. But you don't listen and instead tell me that I don't listen to you. Do you pause to think why would I not listen to you? Is it my brain which has by default adapted the mechanism from your actions? Do you hear my tears? Do you understand them? Why don't you listen to them? Why don't you just do what they want you to? 

Push me a bit harder make me jump that cliff so that I don't stop at the edge and retrace my steps to just stop there. I may fly, I may dive or I may just vanish. Who knows? Maybe there is an ocean beneath the cliff or just air or just emptiness. 

The lights they reach to tease me at times when I feel I am going towards the haven and not the cliff but alas! It's a mirage. Mirages always break. 

Consider the dried lips an adieu to what could have been. Don't hold my hands the last time I leave, don't hug me Or kiss me. I will be lost in the oblivion and you will be blissfully ignorant. 

This is a modern fairy tale

No happy endings

No wind in our sails...