Hanged in space..

Standing on her terrace her mind roamed about in sheer randomness.She was thinking about her days happening not so happening she murmured to herself.In need of something her heart ached and she looked down into the empty dark space beneath her eyes which were now wandering outside the boundary of the secure railings of the terrace.

Parky wind flew from the front and she felt all her senses going numb as if they were trying to make her go calm and feel the chill right down her spine.How does it make a difference to the person she might be thinking about right now?Why does she have to think about that person and not about herself?

Each question produced a secondary..tertiary and so on and so forth questions ahead.Reeling in her mind like some unstoppable fierce wave engulfing with each proceeding.The aura of the night which was starting to mix with the pure white sky also couldn't soothe her to cease her from thinking.

She lied down on that dirty terrace floor avoiding any further questions flooding her mind.As she withdrew to watching the merger of the white and black she decided she would let her mind stop just for once.Her heartbeat rose a million times or so she imagined.A sense of excitement,enthrallment and nervousness gripped her whole being as she saw a number flash on her mobile screen.

She couldn't react to it fast cause she had time absorbing the very fact that the very thing she wished she could cut off from had given its hand out to her as if to stop her from falling in the unknown horizon.She pressed that small green color tab on her cell and bringing it in position to talk she said "hello"

But her voice was not heard as if the very sound produced inside her didn't come out and got lost in the mysterious realm of world.She tried again this time with much greater effort and finally said Hello..

She didn't hear anything back cause she didn't know what the other voice would say because her realistic world didn't allow her imaginary friend to become alive and reply.She had felt so lonely that she created a imagination out of her loneliness.She stared the mobile screen and laughed at her own conditions.How sane she was some months ago and how one confession has left her shattered and ruffled.

She replayed the conversation in her mind once again.That very day when she had confessed and revealed something she had concealed long even from herself,her heart,her soul..

Rudhira tried hard to understand..walk ahead..accept changes..but she was unable to and she always wished the things would fall in place just like she had seen them in the beginning with him.Paarth had been too adamant..not understanding a single feeling she would hint him with..Sometimes occupied with himself so much that he ignored the very fact of her being with him.

If she had a magic wand and she could tell him how much she was bearing right now within her..how much she wished that he enter her..how much she wished to meet him and let know what is desire,longing, belonging and possessiveness according to her..how much she wished him to know that how jealous it made her to know of someone else..

Paarth has been in his dream world for too long..has discarded the fact of understanding with heart..has gone too far..

She has left the stains of her cry on him..wishing one day that he would understand that what it is to be alone despite the fact that you had surrendered yourself with all your heart and soul to someone you understood..trusted..desired with..hungered the passion and lust equally with..and let the flaws be called perfection..

Is she not worthy of his choice?..is she not anything to him?..Is loving not enough to let him never leave her?..

She wished this ends soon..she wishes its not slow and painful..she wishes and she stares down watching the ground resembling an unending dark abyss..

She falls each time down and hard as she looks..she dies hundred deaths every moment missing his presence..she dies everytime she watches the solitary road welcoming her to submerge inside it..she dies watching the deep lake with its blue welcoming tinge..she dies everytime piercing herself with sharp edges to break the dream..she dies everytime watching the eager fire flame..she dies every time he wafts away her feelings like smoke in air..she dies every minute he spends with someone who didn't belong to him..

Patience has died down..eyes have lost their tears..saturation has been attained..wait is too short a word to describe the pain right now..

Image courtesy

Adieu!

A click of heartbeats together.

Intertwined fingers of his and her.

Dripping lusty desires of him.

Thirst of love gripping her soul every inch.

A moment so close, 

teasing one another.

She whispers soft in his ears.

Beats gone out of rhythm.

Tears brimming up the heart. 

Withdrawing the hold she leaves,

bidding him forever an adieu.. 

Image Courtesy

100th post and sorry bloggie :( Belated happy birthday :D :P

This is my 100th post guys and it feels like just one of those days when i pen all the others but this time it is different it ought to be different.But nah! nothing as such.

This is going to be my second personal reflection on this blog so i am being a bit diplomatic yet want to be transparent about.And guess what i missed birthday of my blog :/ that is it's one year completion but never mind i wish him belated happy birthday now let me see how does it punishes me for being late in wishing :P

Anyway so i will start with the person behind this blog..yeah yeah i can see your eyes rolling and saying aah must be a guy after all most of you address me as a love girl.Yes it is a guy but not as you might have wanted :P ..

Like any other person you face online while on social circuits i encountered this particular person and then we talked and he invited me to create a blog to which i responded a bit reluctantly but still embracing the opportunity to see whats gonna happen next.It's not like i did not write before but it was not like this having your own space.I wrote there for sometime and then i withdrew my blog i.e. deleted it.Then after sometime i wished to write with a surrounding that called me and reminded me of me as my own.So i finally created Reigning wanderer which now i have changed into Afixxion Addixt !

I'll always be obliged to towards this person who made me unfurl in pretty,ugly,bad,happy,sad,rude,angry moods.If it weren't for him i wouldn't have got such wonderful people in my life through my blog.

All you followers who at times hop in to check and the ones not so regular have decorated my place with their own jewels.Thank you to all of you :)

So here we go a boring story finished :D

These people are just magnificent when talked with and i would like to thank them to spare time talking with me..

Beyond horizon:Her musings are magic and they sure to cast spell upon you too have tried to catch her online many times :P but now we have become wall chatters isn't that great? :D :P 

Eon Heath:has not been blogging much as of now but whatever he writes he puts in a part of himself and makes it come almost alive :)  

Fatima:true and honest confession but i seldom visit her blog but at a personal level we have talked so much i will call her my soul sister :)  
MAVERICK:I like your poems with wine,music,desire..its just so reminds me of you..these things..your poems are the ones i connect with so well..and your stories are all different and bring out intriguing and tough decisions one has to make in ones life..and i am in love with this name Zaira thanks to you..And i seriously loved the testimonial you wrote about me it was just awesome and i haven't felt so nice after reading something about me before..thank you very much.A request that is please start more often than not again :) 

Ninu:he has left blogging ask him to resurrect people :/ he writes randomly and anything to everything

P-kay:I just love his stories..he has been working very much lately..can't see him writing from many months..hopefully he will return back cause i miss his stories.
Rupesh(Rup):I liked your blog very much..the one that caught me was Coffee? ;) and the image from UP accompanied by the lovely poem:kuch karke jana hai...I know i haven't replied you longtime but hopefully will pretty soon.Nice to know whatever little i could of you :) and yeah all the best for all the endevours you are going to take and are taking :D
The other side of me:she is my bestieeeeeeeee i can write her oodles and get oodles from her..her blog is one more charmer which will leave you ending up at all times of the day there..you'll know about her life so well from her blogs and her poems are lovely

Vaisakhi Mishra:writes pain and love both beautifully and has never made me feel a stranger to her :)

And these are some new people who i have got acquainted with and would wish to check out there lives more often than not

Jztsignedup:Dude you are missing..hopefully you'll knock in soon.Remember you have a duty after signing up :P 
Swanrose:His blog emits a beautiful aura that i told him the first time i visited his blog.haven't been able to read you since long sowie :( ..His poems portray love in pain and pain in love with the a hint of longing and ray of hope for happy ending is superb! 

The lonely recluse:Currently burdened up with uni things :P  You write something very different and i don't know in which category it falls .I like your dark posts :)

Niya:She possesses this great epitome of love for everyone :) 

Reicha Ahluwalia:A very sweet girl who really does make her belief of miracle happens come true
Anjali:Jolly person and i find her musings so very different you can't put them into any category they are of their own unique origin

Lil angel:Sorry girlie i haven't been able to reach you from sometime..she is really an angel with her writing and one of my lovely follower i would say 

Hamza Bin Laden:A great influence on almost every second person that visits his blog..his writings leave me laughing and he never fails to flatter with his comments :P ..yippeeeeeee he is also of same age as mine :P
Tarunima:She is a greatttttttttttttttt poet i have ever seen till date..i am left wondering and awestruck after every work i read from her
Little things in love:Seriously i don't know her name :P She might not know me but i have commented i guess on one of her posts :P but the thing is i have read every post by her :D The way she writes about her 'S' is sweet.I like to read YOUR stories girl :)

Now people i would like to know from this time are these
Serendipity:Your dp did feel like a professional artwork until and unless you revealed the story behind it..i just love her personal musings in the end :) i am not saying only those :P her writings are also wonderfully displaying different caliber each time you read her :)

Crystal:Your blogger name is wonderful and your blog has caught me so very well..i just love the very aura of it
PeeVee(priyanka):I like the most part of her that she is a chocolate lover :D :D i know thats so selfish of me :P and after i visited her blog i feel like she can be and write from anything to everything with a hint of intellect and jolliness :)..Hope to know you more
Rahul:I laugh after i read your posts :) simple things but put in a very innovative way..totally cranky dude ;) Would like to indulge more often than not. 

The guy in the mirror:haven't been reading much lately but will strike up soon..you write simply you.. direct from heart :)

Saru Singhal:I'll know you soon :) 

Jidhu Jose:Your photography is awesome!

Valli:Arty and seems so innocent with her penned poems.

Ovais Shaikh:I wish you are happy most of the time :) and you also write nice so it's not that you should end up saying wish i could write like you :P

And last but not the least a very strange kind of a person who visits my blog almost anonymously and praises my work like it leaves me smiling.That person becomes my guest is missing from somedays and i am missing that person too where are you Mr. Guest?

So this was enough of known, knowing, want to know and now i would like to share a award with five people which i have received from The lonely recluse ..Thank you very much Lonely recluse :) and it's a rule to share :P

In German—“liebster” means “dear,” from the verb “lieber” [to love]“.

• Thank the giver and link
  back to the blogger who gave it to you.
• Reveal your top 5 picks
  and let them know by leaving a comment on their blog.
• Copy and paste the award
  on your blog.
• Have faith that your
  followers will spread the love to other bloggers.
• And most of all – have
  bloggity-blog fun!

There is this one person i shall not name that i want to give the award too because that person likes to be anonymous here most of the time.I'll ask them and if they provide me with a yes and i will reveal there name then :)
P-kay

Beyond horizon

Eon Heath:Your shayari blog :)
The other side of me

Those i did not name please don't be sad cause i could only give this award to five people and i made the picks.I like to read you all :)

Okey here is one more thing i want to add up in this very post and that is that i haven't been writing lately and don't know at present when would be my time to write regular so here is wishing everyone over here a very happy diwali..may your house be enlightened with love,prosperity,good health and wisdom!

And those who are going to celebrate Halloween for them Happy Halloween :D

Yeah you saw it right..Bring me the candies :P :P and the diwali goodies too hehehe..

Hope i bored you well ;)

Take care

have a safe and happy diwali and a frightening Halloween :D

Abuse

Not that the one who has not faced it understands it completely but still they do to some extent.The pain that one has to bear for a lifetime and the nightmare that never seems to erase off no matter how hard you try to wipe off and start a fresh.

Through the silent room soft sobs were let away in the winter air.Rohini hugged herself tight through the blanket wrapped around her.She had been touched and exploited by someone who had known her and that what pinched her the most the way she could do nothing about it.She could not tell anyone and the one with whom she shared it with she didn't know if that person understood or not that what it really was like.The pain that she was experiencing.One year is about to pass by she is still struggling with the memory.It's painful and tears trickle down her cheeks and she can't tell anyone that what is that she cries for.Through the dark night and the insects are the only company to her.Trying to lull her to sleep by there incessant sounds.

The sun rises wishing a smile to every face that wakes up but what about the one who never slept just because they were afraid that he would catch her in sleep too and she could not run away from that thought until she could break her nightmare immediately.No one besides to put her head to rest on there lap and caress her hairs softly to make her know that she will be safe no matter what.

Her heart seems to stop after she is finished on tears.She has to begin her day again holding her head high and bearing a fake smile just so that she can make through the day to find again the haunting night inviting her on a spree of innumerable sleepless nights.

If only he knew what irreversible harm has he done to her..

P.S.-Abuse in any way sexual,verbal,date,cyber etc. have equal impact on the mind and heart of a person.If only it could stop..if only the people we knew didn't cheat us..if only they knew how much pain does it cause..if..

A pray and a wish that i add for every cry and every tear shed by the abused each night in their confined walls that if there is a power that can heal or stop then may it do so before they loose their hopes and wish to live.

Image Courtesy

Teaser!?

This poem is submitted by me for Thursday Poets Rally 53!
Ruffled up countenance.

Cascading hairs fall down.

A rhythmic caress, 

ticklish touches,

a smile so naughty, 

a pounce so wild.

The heavy breathing,

merged with pulsating soul.

Cold skin collides! 

Becoming sweaty; 

in the bloody ordeal of,

pinching..scratching..tearing..biting..

Temptation of the trickle, 

drawing beats closer.

Crimson beads fall joyously all around and over.

Fueling the residing passion,lust and anger.

A seemingly last blow silences it all.

Stares grown warm shared with each other.

Hunger rests upon hunger,

smothering over one another.

Tightening the grips, 

was it just the teaser?

Image Courtesy

I want to nominate The Red Raven(Julian Corvinus Javier)