To end somehow. .

There were random thoughts in my mind, none of it was a happy one. It hurt me to relive those memories but I couldn’t help thinking about them. As the wind played with my hairs, I looked out of the bus watching the crowd yet lost someplace else. Everything around was buzzing with sound and chaos. I was shivering from inside but it was almost 38 degrees Celsius outside. I couldn’t sob or cry because people were around me in search of a weak moment to come and enjoy my agony and pain while displaying fake concern. At that point I wish sleep would come and consume my thoughts but it was nowhere near. I climbed down the bus and started walking. I was walking really fast and going faster by the time. It was hurting my feet but I just didn’t want to stop. Sweat was trickling down my face, back and arms. As I reached home I went for a cold shower, that was the time when I could let my tears flow. The warm liquid rushing on my cheeks while the cold water numbed my senses. I wanted to stop feeling.. feeling for myself, for her, for him and for all those who were plaguing my mind with haunting and painful memories. I just wanted them to be happy but they thought I was interfering. Fighting with me, stinging me with sharp words to make me get lost and stay away. I was trying not to breakdown, I knew they need me because they aren’t happy but I was in need of them as well. But they never tried to peek inside me and watch how they are breaking me with them. I have lost so much and I don’t know how to heal myself back. This pain is throbbing in my temples, this gloominess is tying me down to a heavy rock resting upon the earth, cutting me from top to bottom slowly and pushing me now and then to make me fall inside the dark abyss. It was in my nature to fly high like the birds in sky but here I was crushed and tied waiting for the nightmare to end somehow.

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55 Fiction:The question

Torn between the possibilities his mind is working on high speed.He is scared cause he never thought he would do this.In a gorgeous electric blue saree she sits infront of him.He bends on his knees opening the red velvet box, he asks her "Will you marry me?"

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Is your faith dying?

Have you seen your faith die down slowly like the flame of the candle nearing its end? Not that it wasn't there,it was alighted and headstrong.But it is just nearing its end and you cannot do anything.Nothing you do is sufficient to make it stay.You just leave it be and it tangles further.Tangles with your hopes and wishes.If you want to continue you have to kill your hopes and wishes.That is fine right?They can be killed.But what do you do about a need?Can you do without the needful?

It is calm and patient but it seems like the ominous silence before the mighty storm which would shake everything to the very core.

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You said..

He-When you know something is difficult and the end result is darkness why would you do it?

She-You mean there won't be an affirmative outcome of my efforts?

He-Yes.Right.You can't budge someone from their willing decision.A decision that they would stick to no matter what may cross it.

She-Because you said i can do whatever i have my heart placed in :)

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Like water to me..

I looked at the mirror for the umpteenth time.Why?

Because i saw you.I looked the first time and i....i thought i saw you.No that was not it.I went away for sometime and checked again.Yes there you are,still there.And now i am playing at this for so long.Coming,staying,watching,checking and going away.I'll keep on coming and going cause i want to see you within me,mingling with me.Cells with cells,beats with beats,breathe with breathe,scent with scent,you with me.

I am afraid.Of what?

Will i keep looking at you like this.Will you stay or you will fade away?I wish for you to mix,merge,splurge and color me in you.On those sleepless nights when i have felt a whispering in my ears,the hot breathe fanning my neck.The supple lips pecking each inch and pore of me.I am possessed,obsessed and hypnotized.Good or bad? Who cares,this is what i crave,covet,cherish and own.Your significance in my life if you ask,i shall tell you

                        I am parched like a desert land

                      Breathing in and out like a strangled being

                          I feel myself crumbling bit by bit

                       I am voiceless now,only the wind can make you feel

                              I am there somewhere

                                        Will you come searching for me?

                          Cause you are like water to me..