The void

Banishing every thought in my mind was possible or so i thought.Huge canvases of black laid in front of my closed eyes waiting to be given colors.I don't like colors that much but still they screamed to me to paint them.I am yearning for the void ,to reach stability.The non-existent part of me.My esoteric insignia different from every other known.I dwell in my ethereal void but without my knowledge when i sleep and slip into the realms unknowns.

A electric jolt like sensation crosses every cell of my body.As suddenly i lie with open eyes now staring at the very same spot continuously ,infinite number of memories cross my eyes.Covered in blanket embracing myself as yet i shiver in the cold night.And floodgates of the blocked thoughts open as each of them try running in front of the other through the thick coat of layered silence.

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To him,to home..

I laid covered in his arms,

listening to the lilting hush-hush of his breathe.

I inhaled in scent of roses and chocolate.

That i could identify anywhere.

As he clinked our glasses,

filled with crimson delight ,

sparkled in the late winter moonshine.

His inebriated eyes shone at par with moonlight.

He hummed a tone softly near my ears.

I closed my eyes and soaked in the moment,

keeping silent cause i knew my words slurred unlike his.

The touch of skin on skin soothed my nerves.

I felt at peace in that embrace.

I knew i was home at last;

I belonged to him ,

and he told me he is mine.

I watched her die..

*Cause i wanted to write,and i wrote succumbing to temptations..*

I watched her escalating,rise,blaze and vanish.A feeling gnawing her insides each moment.

Laughing when others laughed on a joke or shedding tear drops when caught up in emotional riot.

It is a state of normalcy in front of the lay man.As she promised herself something new each day a part of her longed and craved for someone to support,hold and push her forward to make her establish something worthy.Trust wasn't alien to her but she wanted it to be alienated from her life as it crumbled each time when associated with her.Every single day a part of her was nibbled,scratched,sucked and parted off from her.Faith dwindled and virtue rested on shaky grounds.A mirage to which she was giving away and surrendering every part of her only to be left with nothing.Body is made of flesh,bones and blood but she knew it differently.Her body had a semblance with that of a glass.Chipping at times with soft dents and shattering into pieces with the hard falls.Every now and then she had to take time off to gather the shattered pieces showing fractals of nothingness and regale them.Blending herself in the blasting sound of music as it was the best she could do to distract herself.Crumbling and smashing she told herself she had adjusted but inside it all was but a lie.She cried in the confines of her heart till she blacked out.

She wanted a companion in real sense,who would hear her out and be with her in every type of time that she witnessed.She wanted to be complete in search of her other half.

She was essence i watched her sublime with remains of nothing behind.I watched her die..

Voice lost

I tried as much as i could,

and now there is no more.

I failed to have you.

I got rejected.

And I stand here today

stranded and alone

with my voice lost..

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I am silenced

Shriveling with every breathe.

Shivering with every step.

Ramifications unfold my prophecies.

Its hard now to feel the self palpitating.

It grieves me to see, 

the life shrinking in them.

It hurts i say so, 

but all falls on deaf ears;

and parched heart which i was trying to resuscitate.

Couldn't they feel me holding?

Couldn't they see me struggling for them?

Couldn't they see i was drinking their pain?

Couldn't they see my claret burning?

I abandoned my trust on them.

I am silenced through and through.

And now they say i am unfair.

They will blame me, 

but can't they see 

that they sabotaged themselves!

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