The
flickering lights fall on my face. What else did I expect?
It is
blinding and chilling, sitting on these bar stools. I absolutely hate these
stools, I long for a comfortable couch but I wont opt for that. Yes, seems like
I have finally let go last shred of sanity.
I want
it and I have it right in front of my eyes but those couches hold memory. It
has been 3 months since he has left for work and I am pining badly for him
right now. No calls are returned till the weekends and no mushy talks follow if
I get through to him on weekdays. It is Saturday, at least today I can hope for
that long late night talk.
-----
Destination needs to be changed
he said
I beamed a happy smile mirroring
his. He hugged me and told me how my smile was what he was waiting for. Why I had
asked him and being the ever so sweet guy he is, he told me it was like a
confirmation and seal to the ticket of the new work place.
-----
I cant
leave this place because I have restrictions. Yes I know I can break through
and all but well even I have needs here. But I need him too.
See I am
totally positive that I am nuts.
Long
distance is a pain in the a** but well I know that when we finally do meet it
will be so good. I will see that happy smile of his, snuggle in his arms and
take in the tantalizing scent of his cologne.
I stand
up paying for the tequila shots. The alcohol has finally kicked in the nervous
system. I feel a little tipsy but nothing that I cant handle. I hold the shrug
closer to myself, self hugging if I may say. Exiting the bar I walk down
towards our empty home.
Keeping
the keys on the drawer I eagerly move towards the phone I had intentionally
left on the bed.
11 missed calls
2 messages
My heart
flutters with joy, the calls are his and the messages are random. Removing the
heels, I grab my phone. I slide to camera mode and click a picture of myself in
the blue little dress he had gifted me on our last marriage anniversary. Sharing
it to him through messages I fall back on the bed.
The
phone rings and I fall into the velvety cloud his voice weaves, the longing
disappears momentarily. My easy tone guides him to my state and he plays with my
imagination till he comes back for real to hold his sweetheart.
