Pestilence stricken

How many times you have opened and shut the balcony gate. The heart is tired and the mind yearns for some space.

The constant ticking of the clock and monotonous routine. This is the caged feeling where your head feels heavy. Round the clock, every second, every minute, every hour and this eternity that seems to be going on.

The body is rotting from inside and senses are shutting with constant bickering all around virtually. You know because you got to stay home.

Hobbies have become shackles and the mind is bogged down with the same pattern. When will the breeze of fresh air make the heart feel light? When will we greet some new sights for the sore eyes?

All of a sudden they seem to be distant memories. The atmosphere is plagued and I have written here a pestilence stricken summary.

Lust or love?

From the curses to the lip curl
That kiss on forhead you blew
Bite marks turned maroon-blue
The colorful nights
And the way you swoon
Tapping feets to the symphony
The wisps of morning coffee you brew
Raging flames of hunger and thirst
Do you still want to love or lust? 

To the..

To the sweet good morning kisses and fiery nights.

Smelling the red wine in your muffled breathe while i lick your lips in anticipation. The red hot rods glaring at me from behind you as it cools our naked bodies in the winter.

All of a sudden its too hot in winters. When we are embraced in each others arms, my face reaches your armpit to snuggle and smell the sweat. Its sweaty and when i lick it, it tastes of ocean but i still love the way it feels, it arouses me.

Reaching up to your face i feel the prickly two day beard you have scrubbing my face, it burns so i move to capture your sweet and plump lips in mine. The smell of the garlics from the pesto spaghetti we had. Its mild and indulgent, almost makes me want to fill your mouth with some more of spaghetti and be fed from you.

Going to more intimate regions i smell the hunger emanating for her. So i lick and suck the sensitive zones which makes you hiss and moan. Caressing the bearings under them i plan to throw you in frenzy. Want to make you want me more.

When you caress my back with your hand, resting to pick and squeeze a bone you find. Crossing my hands behind my back just to see the protruding bones you picked on a while ago. I hiss and tell you to stop. You shower me with kisses.

"I imagined you in that short dress, how sexy you looked"  you say. I smile like i can see what you imagined. You curl a little more harder around me as if the imagination just turned real.
Your face, the marks and memory etched on them. I touch them and ask you the stories. Listening to them i am transported to that time where i can see as you go on unaware of the future, of the future where you would tell me all about it.

Barging into the room, you are singing same line of the song again and again in a cheerful and ecstatic tone. You have come back early from work you announce. I look at the smile on your face, it seems to be spreading all over you.

"When will you come back?" i ask and that is enough to make you distraught and cold. I want to take my words back because i feel like i committed a crime too grave. But its too late and your tone is condescending and behaviour is stolid while you give an answer appropriate in your mind for a crime like that.

The things are thrown around everywhere in that one room we are present. It's all too messy. I am careless and clumsy. Breaking a glass, the china bowl or that coveted bottle for storing water. I make a mess everywhere i go.

Simmering the milk on low i want to cook that sweet dish with dry fruits and tapioca pearls, after all you haven't eaten all day and kept fast. Just the way you like it, with no sugar and thickened milk.

"There are other things besides food and sleep, why don't you explore it?" you ask. "I do want to do that" i reply back. Not too convinced with my reply you glare at the mundane and monotonous way your life seems. I become a burden to you with my affirmation, making you realise how i am fine with just the way the things are.

I am a liar and a procrastinator. But i am also a lover and child at heart still making  out the head and tail of life. I want fairy lights, dreamcatchers, wind chimes, random and obscured photo of ours hanging from the rope pinned with a clip, bed made of wood crates, three sides of wall painted with white colour and one side painted pitch black, i want to lie on the cold ground with you in summer nights sharing a glass of chilled cocktail and watch the night turn into morning. But i have habits and expectations which dull all that i want. 

And all remains but nothing.

ये रात!

ये रात की है तेरे नाम हमने, 

तू जो बोले वो सच माना है..

तेरी एक मुस्कुराहट के खातिर,

दुनिया बदली है अपनी आज के लिए..

खुश हूँ मैं तुझे देख के, 

खिलखिला रही है जो बे बात यूंही.. 

तेरी जुल्फों से खेलूँ,

तेरे गोद्द में सर रखू कभी,

कभी तू नाराज़ हो तो, 

चूम लूँ तेरे होंट यूंही..

बस रात भर तुझे देखूँ,

जबतक तेरी खुशबू का नशा, 

निगाहों को भारी न कर दे..

तुझे बाहों में समेट सौया रहूँ,

और हल्के से बोलूँ तेरे कानो में,

ये रात की है तेरे नाम हमने.. 

Image courtesy

P.S.-I have written it from a guy's perspective.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him - III

It was thundering today.The clouds were black engulfing the moon.At times it peeked through the walking clouds.Stars were not permitted tonight.She sighed longingly watching the starting drizzle.It pour mildly at first and then increased in its pace.The wind gave it random directions.She stepped out of the shade from where she was looking.Spreading her arms wide on either side she looked up.The soothing rain caressed her face as she closed her eyes.The cold wet drops were amazing.Her black t-shirt and cream shorts soaked in water in just matter of minutes.She spinned dizzily like a drunkard screaming wuhuuu...

As they entered his room she had known that clothes had no work on body.As she removed his vest almost instantly ,as her inner wears lay scattered around her feet.As he lay down,she rested herself upon him slowly.He pounced on her,kissing fervently.Void of the heat for so long she responded back passionately.He pulled her hairs and tugged her away from his mouth.She let out a involuntary moan,unhappy of the sudden break.As she opened her inebriated eyes,through her lashes she looked at him staring at her.A smile formed on her lips.All of a sudden she was beneath him as his lips tarvelled all over her kissing and licking.She writhed with pleasure.Her nails digging deep in his back.She heard the pitter patter of rains through all this as did he.They stopped and stood up naked.Holding hands as they parted the curtains from the window,they saw the rain together.She said in a low voice "I dream to kiss you while getting wet in rain".He laughed kissing her softly on her lips and said "Today it is not that strong,we will someday when it is raining heavily." As he said those words he ducked his head in the crook of her neck adorning it with wet kisses.Tumbling down on the bed once again...

She looked down now,folding her arms around her.Hugging herself she made way inside her room.Removing the wet clothes she lay there beneath the blanket.Wet yet warm from inside waiting through the incessant pitter patter to have it lull her to sleep.Rid her off her insomnia.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him - II

A page turned as the gentle breeze blew accompanying the night.She had switched off the lights of her room and kept the door ajar.Pale milky moonlight streamed through the space of the open door.Switching on the torch she had read the letter in front of her so many times.She could not get enough of it.Like a scent which you keep on breathing in as it never seems to sate you.All of a sudden she got up from her bed,making way towards the bag of clothes.Opening it slowly she picked out the jacket.

They had met after a longtime.While walking towards his house she had given her over-sized jacket to him.He had worn it,and she beamed at him happily because she was feeling really hot in it.The full blown winter has not yet set it.When she entered his room she could see how messy the room was as he hadn't got a chance to clean up after he had come back from a trip.Abandoning their clothes in a clean spot of the room they lied down on the bed.Both hugging as the warmth from each other seeped in and around them.A quilt blanketing them.He urged her to come up a little as he was taller than her.Tilting her head and angling his face he put his lips on hers softly.A gentle kiss followed by a bite on her lower lips.She gasped opening her lips.His tongue entered her mouth, rolling and teasing it with her tongue.Their bare bodies caressing each other.His hands kneaded and rubbed in places so secret that she moaned through the kiss.One of her hand rested on his back while the other kept ruffling his hairs in the heated moment of passion...

She opened her eyes breaking away from the memory and smelled the jacket in her hands.It smelled of him.Her ecstasy knew no bounds.As she placed it besides her head.Another night waited to be passed immersed in his fragrance.Her eyes quit to shut themselves up as the insomnia lingered in air yet again.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him

She looked at the curtains casting weird shadows in the dark.She has always been in love with dark though the realization had been a bit late.It always made her think about him.How she spent the time with him or talked with him on phone or simply lay there in his arms.She had been wriggly from someday,it was a weird feeling she could not pin point where or what or why.A insatiable urge to cry on and on.She missed the whispers,kisses,hugs,sweet nothings,care,joy and et al. She imagined the last time she had met him.It was beautiful,words were too less to describe the feeling.Entangled within each others embrace covered slick with sweat smelling of hunger and desire.Body stroking with body,the night breeze blew softly through the thick summer coat.The way his stubble felt while he peppered her with kisses from face to neck.Hands caressing each other.Breathes resuscitated and dropped with the torturous touches.Teasing with every move.

The physical separation and emotional need were too much for her to bear that she realized while thinking all this.Whenever she was alone,she only thought about him.The veil of darkness kept her secrets and clandestine meetings intact. Harboring them safely in the shapes of clouds,stars and the moon.And she smiled one last time.Tears streamed down her face and she lay there with open eyes fighting with the insomnia.

Image courtesy

I feel. .

I bled through to the flickering present.

Feeding myself to flames of test.

Grabbing on to the thread that joins; 

me and you to the fatal world.

Hope their is but no one knows.

Love their is but no one feels.

And i shall live on just to get the last touch.

With the trust that was never meant to be.

"And i mistook a intense infatuation to be a emotion of love.."

Unnamed

As the moonlight lit the paved boulevard,it almost occurred simultaneously that how for fraction of second it must have been all dark through the trees and still was in some places where the shadow of the tree covered the road.There was no sign of a single soul in that almost ghastly silence.A parky wind blew through the blanket of night.Flickering the candles which she had lit on the post of entry inside the house.Her hairs played in their own tune ruffling and messing up as if almost wanting to follow what the winds wanted.She wanted wings to grow out of her,to be able to tear every bond and fly out high inside the dark black clouds.The melodious tune of the wind chimes penetrated every molecule of the air in vicinity,interrupting her dream to fly.

There are times when you think why did something happen if at all it happened.It is all part of a bigger plan that you are weaving slowly.He has been away for quite sometime,she knew this time he isn't coming back.Her heart screamed in pain but her mind tried to curb it with a logical reasoning.On many days like today they have talked with each other standing on their respective balcony or terrace.Several occasions gifted them with the opportunity to be together in front to be able to touch each other.

She thought to herself what was it that kept them bound to each other for so long and even now in feelings and memories if not any other way.And she remembered something she had heard long back

The gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of those that are destined to meet each other in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way

It is almost like the concept of having soulmates.It was love that she had for him.Which was in no way distinguishable or comparable to any other feeling she had in her life.Such is the power of love that even the mightiest gods and universe creator have bowed down in front of it.

Shiva(a hindu god) when fell in love with sati because of her pure devotion,love and sacrifice of human life for him was bound with her forever.When she died he could not live like a god.Anger was his display on discovering of her death,nothing seemed right to him without her in his life.He left his home(supposed to be the heavens) and came on earth,he started dwelling a life of Bairagi until and unless he met her reincarnation.

She believed in her love but she was aware that no matter how hard she would want to be with him,she cannot be.A chance to be with him for whatever period possible did make her learn many things.She didn't regret whatever she did with him.Her longing was insatiable.Her mind always asked her Can life come to standstill if he is not there with you? She smiled talking to her mind you won't stop,cause you are not an emotional fool.Then she looked at her heart and said you damned are going to be all for him always.She was touched and possessed by him forever.She bore his mark on her.How much so ever she wanted to be with someone else,it wasn't possible because she was bound in an unbounded and unnamed relation with him.If only she had what he wanted in her,if only he had fallen in love with her,if only it was possible not to share him with anyone..

Falling leaves wishing goodbyes.

Hugging thyself she looks in sky.

Cloaked in the darkness she smiles whispering, 

maybe he is feeling that i am embracing him!

Crimson happiness

I stated in anger 

You don't care!

An iota of what i surrendered to him,

is not what i am asking back.

Still when I look back in his eyes;

I see what i have never seen for myself.

His countenance displaying an atrocious smile,
laced with fatal poison.

As he caresses my face and says

You are my crimson happiness..!

I wish i never knew you

Image courtesy 

There is a ocean of pain submerging and layering inside me.
Every wound inflicted by you marked blue.

Scratched again and again by you till they bleed and get devoid.

If only i could go back in time and erase everything and

I wish I never knew you

Ebony

Running away in his own peaceful pace!

No more looking back. 

Nothing to be afraid of anymore.

Unscathed he is getting away,

from the claws of danger.

Purring with delightful victory. 

Licking the last milk drops from his whiskers.

Pops out his head and opens up his blue eyes.

As i call out through the dungeons,

'come my dear Ebony..'

Thank you so much for the award Ava and sorry for the delay.

I nominate Heaven.

Emanating realm

Beaded with pearls of desire.

The iffy of conditions,

dressing the night in fire.

Perspiring drops creating spectrum, 

through the emanation of moonlight.

Lonesome tonight,

are the feelings tricking?

Imaginations weave, 

is reality mixing?

Realms where you and i!

Are there to create and destroy.

Unveiling of the concealed joy.

Dripping cruor..

Through that lovely crimson hue,

i glanced into your sparkling eyes.

Cutting me through with your sharpness.

The bitter sweet sensation runs wild.

I am dying each moment so swift.

Elegantly that you paint our soul with cruor.

Surrendering yourself to me,

as your lips part each time with a sigh.

With joy of quenching your rushing thirst.

Ahh..! marveled in the dripping need. 

Wafting love..

From dusk till dawn,

he stays on my mind.

Dark and sensuous is how,

he is described.

Consuming me with wisps of his kiss.

I let him smolder my inside.

Elation is what he does to me.

On the lonely nights,

when the moon hides,

stars loose out their gleam,

he accompanies me.

Caresses my every pore, 

pouring himself inside me.

Bitter is how I have loved him,

sweetness is prohibited.

The wafting smell gets me high,

enamoring my heart in yearn.

Passionate,fluffy and poised in grace,

i lick him till the end.

He steals my heart, 

and leaves me craving.

My love for him is forever indeed.

Picture Courtesy

Bloody Dream..

 This entry is submitted by me for Thursday Poets Rally Week 43,

Engulfing the radiance taking out just a cerulean.

As the evening light turns thinner.

Comes in the pretty enchanter,

a lovely blue moon peeps out of the sky.

I see a familiar effigy of someone so close,

shining out of the then turned black sky.

As I reach a little close to it as I feel,

a shadow comes from back and holds me by hands.

Comforting that touch feels rebirth instant.

A mask it wears the countenance this time.

In a flash of second reveals his true signs.

Humming a tune for the first time today.

Makes me loose my senses that were alright!

Tremulous I become falling in his arms,

he chariotest’s me to his dark world apart.

Serves me with red blood like wine,

introducing me to chapelle ardente.

Red roses surround he starts a cavatina.

My heart craves in need of more to hear.

Catoptric face his eyes meet mine.

Love has always united us indeed for right.

Thine majesty order me to present some grace,

He brings a silver tiara it looks great.

His words then echo telling the worth of it,

telling it is the only way we get to meet.

Placing it on my head I gleam,

making the universe look in surprise.

He smiles and says now you can come here, 

whenever you wish to.

Smiling I am speechless from the time I arrived.

Kissing each other we fill the air with sweet aroma,

invigorating our lives in just moments that got by.

Forever is the way we stay close,

end for beginning a new.

Splurging desires fulfilling thou’s need,

effacing we both for each other to lead.

Clasping me in his warmth,

i feel the heat so intense and divine.

Whispering in my ears then he unfolds a clandestine

Tells me about the clairvoyance we share

I shimmer with utmost joy.

Fuliginous the sky we watch together.

A gash is made on both our wrists,

Blood mixes weaves a wonderful dream..

Picture Courtesy

Thank You Jingle

I am honored

and i want to nominate 

tOuCh

Holding time..

Lingering on for so long.

The touch almost dizzied me.

Enveloping my soul, 

the breathe it was catching fast.

Your heartbeat sounded so magical.

The bitter-sweet taste of your tongues.

The smoking fragrance of you.

Insanity was in our talks all through out,

laughs and giggles were companions.

That ticklish touch and naughty glimpse.

That warm embrace made me feel so loved.

Holding hands was caring,

entwining each finger tight and secure.

Melodrama during the leaving of train.

I njoyed every bit with you.

The memories have frozen,

and will remain forever

of US beyond..

Dead..!!

This entry is submitted by me for Thursday Poets Rally Week 42,

The night was cold.

Atrocious with it's parky winds.

Bare my body laid on grass.

Shivering was witnessed for quite sometime,

all of a sudden my body was numbed.

The tears that were rolling down, 

were as if frozen in the time.

I was remembering all our moments.

And my heart was crying deep down.

The enchanting darkness of night enveloped me.

I tried and carried my being through memories.

To revive you as fresh as dew. 

First all that came was haze,

but the more i fell in the abyss it became clear.

Rain drops touched each skin pore,

and i felt almost ecstatic.

A diabolic spirit that roamed around,

stung me and returned to it's hide.

My blood was mixed with deadly poison,

the Scorpio had got on it's victim's plight.

And with the hushing voice of my breathe,

the splashing sound of drops on me.

My eyes opened up as if staring zenith.

The sweet smell of wet soil, 

that penetrated through my senses.

I found solace lying there cold and dead.

Picture Courtesy

Accepting the award whole heartedly,

thanks to Jingle who presented me this!

and i nominate Kevin Lamb as rules state

Wish Thursday Poets Rally 42 best place!

Her shadow..

A drop fell,

it echoed in the hollow.

A light shimmered,

it dimmed in the vicinity.

She walked past the tree,

swaying and rustling the leaves.

She touched the trinkets,

they jingled happily.

She blew air on the wind chimes,

they played a hypnotic song.

She ran her fingers on the piano,

It produced a agonized rhythm.

She walked up the stairs,

swirling her way up to a room.

It was so huge filled with cobwebs.

The violin wrapped in satin lay on table,

she unwrapped it and played her love song.

Nervous and fast steps were heard hurrying up.

The door was opened of the room.

His face was shining in the moonlight,

which penetrated through the open window.

He gazed in the direction of the lovely tune.

She smelled the strong scent of him burning her inside.

He walked steadily towards her.

He held her hands and gave a long sigh.

Her nails red bright glowed in his hands.

They moved their feet to the magical symphony.

She no more held the violin,

but it played for itself.

They danced in the most ecstatic poses.

Bows and bends, twists and moves.

Oh! It was all so perfect indeed.

A howl was heard the moon was covered,

her shadow dissolved in front of him.

The night was gone and;

A drop fell,

it echoed in the hollow.

A light shimmered,

it dimmed in the vicinity.

-Alcina