Pestilence stricken

How many times you have opened and shut the balcony gate. The heart is tired and the mind yearns for some space.

The constant ticking of the clock and monotonous routine. This is the caged feeling where your head feels heavy. Round the clock, every second, every minute, every hour and this eternity that seems to be going on.

The body is rotting from inside and senses are shutting with constant bickering all around virtually. You know because you got to stay home.

Hobbies have become shackles and the mind is bogged down with the same pattern. When will the breeze of fresh air make the heart feel light? When will we greet some new sights for the sore eyes?

All of a sudden they seem to be distant memories. The atmosphere is plagued and I have written here a pestilence stricken summary.

Swinging world

The rain is making the weather a bit cooler and getting rid of the humidity. Life nowadays witnesses relations just like the temperamental weather patterns in India in almost all the regions. Things change so quickly. Before you can wrap your head around a new event another one blows up right in front of you.

Likewise we are surely increasing are speed for accommodating such changes. I wonder what will come next. That is all we can do, wonder or at most predict the future when we don't know for sure.

Young people are becoming more effervescent and the at same time equally gloomy from inside. The ratios are screwed, philosophies are evolving, thoughts are weirdly warped, humanity is crumbling under pride and show-off and the time is running really fast. What does it take to stop the real emotions and feelings to fade away from the life of people. Things are highly digital and virtual. This technology has sure made life easy for most but future seems full of nightmares.

I wonder how far will love make it with all of us. I still love with my heart and soul, at least before i loose it all.

How easy it has become to skip from one track to another and forget about the things that were. Reminiscing is not a cool thing, it will make us loose precious time which could have been invested in following some two minute trend or a new series on the radar.

Living while we can with the real bits is the best thing possible, if only we realise what is real from what is not.

खामोशियाँ

न बेताबियाँ थी
न ही थी गुस्ताखियाँ
थी तो बस खामोशियाँ
 
न हम कुछ कह सके
न वो हमे सुन सके

कुछ पल हमारे खिलाफ थे
या युहीं दोष दे रहे थे हम पलों को

दिल में जो गुफ्तगू की एक आस जगी थी
आज भी वह अधूरी ही रह गयी

कहनी थी जो बात हमे
खामोशियों में ही बह गयी

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The void

Banishing every thought in my mind was possible or so i thought.Huge canvases of black laid in front of my closed eyes waiting to be given colors.I don't like colors that much but still they screamed to me to paint them.I am yearning for the void ,to reach stability.The non-existent part of me.My esoteric insignia different from every other known.I dwell in my ethereal void but without my knowledge when i sleep and slip into the realms unknowns.

A electric jolt like sensation crosses every cell of my body.As suddenly i lie with open eyes now staring at the very same spot continuously ,infinite number of memories cross my eyes.Covered in blanket embracing myself as yet i shiver in the cold night.And floodgates of the blocked thoughts open as each of them try running in front of the other through the thick coat of layered silence.

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To him,to home..

I laid covered in his arms,

listening to the lilting hush-hush of his breathe.

I inhaled in scent of roses and chocolate.

That i could identify anywhere.

As he clinked our glasses,

filled with crimson delight ,

sparkled in the late winter moonshine.

His inebriated eyes shone at par with moonlight.

He hummed a tone softly near my ears.

I closed my eyes and soaked in the moment,

keeping silent cause i knew my words slurred unlike his.

The touch of skin on skin soothed my nerves.

I felt at peace in that embrace.

I knew i was home at last;

I belonged to him ,

and he told me he is mine.

Unnamed

As the moonlight lit the paved boulevard,it almost occurred simultaneously that how for fraction of second it must have been all dark through the trees and still was in some places where the shadow of the tree covered the road.There was no sign of a single soul in that almost ghastly silence.A parky wind blew through the blanket of night.Flickering the candles which she had lit on the post of entry inside the house.Her hairs played in their own tune ruffling and messing up as if almost wanting to follow what the winds wanted.She wanted wings to grow out of her,to be able to tear every bond and fly out high inside the dark black clouds.The melodious tune of the wind chimes penetrated every molecule of the air in vicinity,interrupting her dream to fly.

There are times when you think why did something happen if at all it happened.It is all part of a bigger plan that you are weaving slowly.He has been away for quite sometime,she knew this time he isn't coming back.Her heart screamed in pain but her mind tried to curb it with a logical reasoning.On many days like today they have talked with each other standing on their respective balcony or terrace.Several occasions gifted them with the opportunity to be together in front to be able to touch each other.

She thought to herself what was it that kept them bound to each other for so long and even now in feelings and memories if not any other way.And she remembered something she had heard long back

The gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of those that are destined to meet each other in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way

It is almost like the concept of having soulmates.It was love that she had for him.Which was in no way distinguishable or comparable to any other feeling she had in her life.Such is the power of love that even the mightiest gods and universe creator have bowed down in front of it.

Shiva(a hindu god) when fell in love with sati because of her pure devotion,love and sacrifice of human life for him was bound with her forever.When she died he could not live like a god.Anger was his display on discovering of her death,nothing seemed right to him without her in his life.He left his home(supposed to be the heavens) and came on earth,he started dwelling a life of Bairagi until and unless he met her reincarnation.

She believed in her love but she was aware that no matter how hard she would want to be with him,she cannot be.A chance to be with him for whatever period possible did make her learn many things.She didn't regret whatever she did with him.Her longing was insatiable.Her mind always asked her Can life come to standstill if he is not there with you? She smiled talking to her mind you won't stop,cause you are not an emotional fool.Then she looked at her heart and said you damned are going to be all for him always.She was touched and possessed by him forever.She bore his mark on her.How much so ever she wanted to be with someone else,it wasn't possible because she was bound in an unbounded and unnamed relation with him.If only she had what he wanted in her,if only he had fallen in love with her,if only it was possible not to share him with anyone..

Falling leaves wishing goodbyes.

Hugging thyself she looks in sky.

Cloaked in the darkness she smiles whispering, 

maybe he is feeling that i am embracing him!

Close..

Memories weaved through moments,

glacier like they flood my soul tonight!

Wetting my parched heart on the way, 

air of nostalgia speeding past.

Tinging pale blue longing in being,

chilling the dimmed surround Oh! so slow.

Warmth that i sense,

nearing I coadunate with you.

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Lost chance!

You don't seem to reply.

I wished it to bespoken by you.

What if they were in my dream,

that i portrayed that big hall, 

a extravagance gather.

We danced to the tunes,

and cheered with the talks.

I ask you a question, 

you raise your eyes and stop.

You ought to answer me, 

at least when i ask you once in reality.

But you loose your chance,

and left me wondering. 

For 'yes' or 'no' which was for me,

on my way wandering.

I cry and submerge. 

I walk down the last aisle of pain.

Get myself a shot to restart,

smoking air I leave my past in ashes.

Lungs filled up it really doesn't matter.

Dropping last bit of emotions,

i will leave you my trail.

When you find me, 

you shall only regret.

If only i were alive, 

that you could have said.

In the Magical Island

She lies here in the island of her magic,

staring at the solitary being above.

No stars today to illuminate the surround,

no fireflies dancing about.

The trees have been smitten by cold,

bare their branches hang in hope,

hope for the spring,

hope for the flowers,

hope for everything to become normal.

It can’t be so till the west wind plays,

the game that is started,

till it sees the finish line engraved.

Now it is winter,

and today is the present,

she muses to herself.

Making a shape in the air,

she has lost someone who meant so much,

she has hurt herself now so much.

Not to touch the trees with her magical light,

glooming the surround.

Aren’t happy the stars know her,

chose to be in shelter,

of the black clouds dispersed.

she sighs, a drop of tear falls;

she is lonely without the feel;

feel she has been engulfing,

for so long it seems disappeared.

Tattered are her hopes.

Shattered are the mirrors of dream.

Clinging to the moment,

she curls up in deep.

A warmth is spread with that curl,

she checks in her heart;

and smiles out of belief.

The presence of feel,

has shifted its place.

She waves her magic wand,

blessings innumerous pour out,

the trees dance together,

the stars steer off the clouds,

the gloomy moon,

shines outright,

Merriment song the birds chirrup,

no matter it’s the night above.

She prances in joy the whole island.

Fireflies gift her with a jeweled tiara.

Kissing her heart,

she rejoices in the wonder.

Five Star..

One drop of blue it covered in peace,

One drop of brown it gave stability,

One drop of transparency seeps congeniality,

One drop of Red ignites desires,

One drop of purity it indulges true self.

The five styling elements,

Water,earth,air,fire and quintessence.

Shaping the cosmos as unique embodiment.