"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Sachai ka chain

As soon as the moral education classes begin at home the most basic lessons contain the lesson of honesty. We are taught never to lie and that’s where we learn to lie for the first time by saying “we will not lie.
When I was a kid I used to break things, not to forget unintentionally. It used to be in the clear and I used to be scolded. Eventually things started to remain intact.
I was 11 years old back then studying in 6th standard, I broke something. My father had gone abroad for the first time. The whole house was pretty excited to see what he will get back for all of us. The day he returned everyone was so happy. The gifts started popping out of his bag and distributed gradually. There was a souvenir which was the gift for the house I suppose. Our showcase was opened and the souvenir kept inside for show. I was mesmerized with the pattern in the souvenir, so as soon as the vicinity was cleared I pulled it out of the showcase. I placed it in my hand very carefully but by some stroke of luck just as I was putting it back, it slipped from my hand. And that resulted in shattering of the whole thing. I panicked for a minute or so and then remembered my newly purchased glue bottle. I ran from there picking up the pieces and started my work of putting it back together. When I was finished fixing it the only problem was the visible cracks. I placed it a far and looked, it looked normal. So I decided to keep it back in the showcase. As I was closing back the showcase, my father came in the room. I turned back almost immediately. He asked what was I doing and I told him that I was dusting the things inside the showcase. He bought that lie.

The souvenir
Whenever I used to enter the room I used to watch it intently, fearing if someone may sense the cracks. I could not eat properly and always lived in the fear of being caught. I know I sound like I might have done a crime but back then this was a very big deal for me. While I used to go to sleep the last thought on my mind used to be the souvenir. A week had passed and I was getting more and more anxious and restless. So on that day I decided to take the burden off of me. I stood in front of my father and asked him to come with me to the room where the showcase was. He followed me and I asked him to see the showcase carefully. He couldn’t figure it out and I told him the whole thing. My father started laughing and I was so relieved. He told me that it was ok that i owned up and should always do that. And I got the desired “sachai bolne ka chain” just like this girl in the video below. Click the play button to know how.

Sunday, December 14, 2014


I see that glitter in your eyes. People call you crazy. But i know the truth. I have seen the child in you and you in me. The days are cut short with you. Time flies away so fast. I wish to catch it i wished to catch and frame it. Now i know different.

Every memory shall be created, enjoyed and stored in heart and mind. Rest are just like ash. You draw it in paper, write it, capture it digitally, it all wipes out someway or the other. Some prone to accident and some put to flames of wrath.

I write today about you and me not knowing if this page will last. But i assure you that i have your words, touch, feel, fragrance and essence all locked inside me, where no one can enter till i don't allow them. It is safe inside me in the oceans of memory.

I am living in the forever of creation and with last breathe i shall let go all in air.

Free of me or is it me free of it. .

Saturday, December 06, 2014

शून्य. .

छुपा राज़ था उन निगाहों में,
हम दूर खड़े थे कुछ..
पास जाने लगे उनके तो एहसास हुआ,
तमस खड़ा था हमारी राहों में ..
न पास थे न ही दूर उनसे,
खो से गए थे हम शून्य में ..!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Untamable beasts

Thousands of thoughts roaming around in your mind. All untamed and wild. They are like the beast.
You have no idea what to believe and what not to. What seems the logical approach doesn't pacify you much anyway. 
Closing the channels and taking a break from these thoughts is not an option. Deal with them, bear with them and maybe you may reach to a conclusion. 
And if you don't? The nights are all about insomnia and day is all about keeping busy. The only solace is work till you find nothing to work on.
Life throws s*** things our way when one perceives that this will be my good time.
Maybe there is nothing like good time or nothing like bad time. It is just time. We keep labelling things so much that we forget to be in touch with the reality.
I feel like having a coffee though it wont render me a solution but it will give a moment or two of bliss.

Sunday, November 09, 2014

Heart ache

You didn't even know someone close to you could cause you such a pain. It is a surprise. You are shocked and at the same time tears are flowing down. They come unbridled as if pouring out your heartache. They could hurt you so bad and strong. The pain compares to nothing like before and you are at loss of everything close to your heart.

A healthy child makes a happy home

It is well known that children are the ones in house who make noise, play and laugh. They make the whole house alive. Their antics and pranks make us angry at first and then we burst out laughing. When they get sick we are missing on something in our house, the alive factor. Then parents would go totally busy with the child and give them each and everything to make them healthy. Have they tried chyawanprash ? I guess some might have and some not. My parents did and the results were very positive. The winter is approaching as we all know and this is the time when people get sick the most. Our immunity is the key to dodge all the health related problems.

“In biology, immunity is the state of having sufficient biological defenses to avoid infection, disease, or other unwanted biological invasion.

It is the capability of the body to resist harmful microorganisms or viruses from entering it.”(as told in wikipedia)

I still remember when my younger brother used to get sick, all the attention used to be focused on him. And me being the silent type wouldn’t do much at home. He was the one with whom I used to get up and ready to play. He used to be really sick when we were kids and my parents used to be really upset. The toys and games all is used to be stacked up in a corner and the house used to echo with silence. They wanted to get a remedy to this and they saw an advertisement of Dabur Chyawanprash on television once. They thought of giving it a try as it was ayurvedic and there would be no side-effects. And so it was bought and used in our house from then on.
The one at our house currently
We used to get one teaspoonful of Dabur Chyawanprash each morning. Firstly me and my brother were apprehensive of the taste but then we liked it so much that we used to sneak in and get some without our parents knowledge. We did not know back then that why were we being fed that. In the winter it used to be consumed daily but we were not letting it go in summer as well.

Chyawanprash is a jam-like mixture of sugar, honey, Triphala, ghee, sesame oil, amla, herbs and spices. It is prepared using ayurvedic method like it used to be ages ago by saints. It is ayurvedic hence it has no side-effects on our health. As it is chyawanprash used to be good for immunity. The new formulation seems even better and I can’t wait to try it. This would for sure keep the diseases away from our little ones. Winter is approaching and once again I am nostalgic with the very mention of this word. Thanks to chyawanprash my brother never got ill once he started having it 365 days. Now not only the kids in our house but the elders also take it religiously. It makes the whole family fit and there is not a single day of silence in our house anymore.
The one which is going to replace the old one in our house now
To know more about the new Dabur Chywanprash click the following link: https://www.liveveda.com/daburchyawanprash/.

Saturday, November 01, 2014


Are you in love with me?

She giggled as I asked her this question.

No. Of course not silly!

And he took the flight of his dreams. As she sat in her car, the tears silently answered his question.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Fragmenting. .

I start to put them together.
But they move away,
as if they have their own legs.
I cry out in frustration.

And I say..
“I brought you here,
you were born out of me.
I didn’t give you your own mind and will.”

They laugh at me, mocking my anger.
I run behind each of them.
Trying to collect and put them back together.

I stop abruptly, as I see a shadow nearing me.
It is huge.
How is that possible?
I did not create something so big.

The giant feet is about to land on me,
I wake up with a shrill ring.
Oh! Thank god, it was just a dream.
My words are not running anymore it seems.

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Ghar wali Diwali

The fun starts one month prior to Diwali day itself. The work starts by cleaning the house, rearranging the furniture and painting the whole house. It seems like we are creating a new energy in our home to welcome Diwali. On Diwali Lakshmi puja is the main attraction for the elderly people whereas children lookout for the best crackers. I used to start crying for crackers two weeks prior to Diwali. My younger cousin brother and I used to burn the crackers together. My aunt, uncle and brother with my whole family used to have a Diwali day spent with each other. My uncle used to be my example for buying crackers, he used to bring the latest crackers and I used to be filled up with happiness just looking at them. This particular Diwali that I have in my mind was extra special because my aunt, uncle and cousin sisters had also joined us at our house. They had come from U.S.A and over there my sisters did not have any experience of burning crackers. So my aunt, brother and I had decided to show them what they had missed out on. We had gone through with the exchange of gifts and sweets in the morning and had a nice lunch. My brother and I started to bring the crackers together, in front of our house. My aunt used to accompany us in this auspicious work. Then we brought our two little sisters outside in the evening. We strolled with them in and around our colony to show them all the decorations that adorned each house because of Diwali. They were more than happy with that alone. But we told them that there is a bigger surprise. So when we reached home, we got to work instantly. We brought the candles and matchbox outside. We made them stand at a distance and watch the show first. The sparklers were the first in line, we moved them round and round to make temporary lightning drawings in the air.

Next came out the charkhari(a round firecracker which when burnt revolves at a high speed making a circle of light around it), some were not lighting at first and the ones which lighted in first go surprised us. The ones which got lighted more of startling us made us the laughing stock for our sisters.
The next were anar bomb(cone shaped firecrackers which when lighted from the tip produce light high above itself), which were lighted by our ever faithful sparklers. The light produced from each anar was different. Green, blue, orange and yellow lights coming from them caught us in the moment.
Now we called our spectators to burn crackers. Eager but apprehensive they picked up the sparklers and lit them. They were mesmerized. We let them burn an anar or two with their sparklers and they were beyond happy by that time. Finally the time for the main crackers came up. The rocket and the 3 feet long sparkler were the one for that season. When the 3 feet long sparkler was lit, each and everyone in our house came out to look at the beautiful sight. The rocket was taken to the terrace. A glass bottle was arranged and then began the fun. We put the rocket inside the glass bottle and with the sparkler we burned the wick and saw the rocket soaring in the sky. The firework was amazing and as the five rockets were finished blazing in the sky we looked for more. But they were finished and we weren’t really contended. That is when our uncle came from behind us and surprized us by producing one more rocket. This particular rocket was the best. From one rocket we saw fireworks for fifteen times.
My cousins and I were uber happy by the end of our celebration. My sisters got to know what was #GharWaliDiwali all about and the highlight in the evening just made them celebrate it back in U.S.A as well from then on.


To celebrate GharWaliDiwali visit this site https://www.gharwalidiwali.com/

GharWaliDiwali with Pepsi and Kurkure :)


Saturday, October 18, 2014


She laughed a little on his silly joke and started coughing. He put the glass of water to her mouth. As she finished drinking, he came near her lips and licked the rolling drop of water from the corner.
Are you okay now darling? He asked.
A blush appeared on her cheeks. She looked at him and smiled. Even after 40 years of being together he had this effect on her.

Sunday, September 28, 2014

Of imperfection and happiness

Picking up the crumpled newspaper i thought, there have been number of times i had told the old lady to not read the newspaper this way. I put it on the flat surface and started arranging the papers in correct order and pressed the folded parts. I did not like it when the newspaper was in that shape.

There are so many things in our life that we don't like. I have fallen in love with a guy in his definition he is imperfect but for me he is perfect. His imperfectness makes me truly happy if you ask. Their maybe some qualities of him which i wouldn't approve of but that doesn't make my love any less for him. I accept him how he is.

When one is not happy, he or she doesn't find anything good no matter how good it really maybe. The state of your mind and your preconceived notion about something is what hinders most of your happiness. I am not feeling well right now so i am blaming my mood and unhappiness on it. I will be there out of it hopefully soon to smile again and say "I am happy."

Thursday, September 25, 2014

Game of blogs - Aryan's reverie (Round 2)

Team Blogsters 
It felt like yesterday to him that he had helped Shekhar and Roohi to leave Delhi. Roohi was being fed a different story by Shekhar as they were sitting inside the auto on their way to the train station. Seats were booked by Shekhar under their fake names. Aryan did not ask what was there name going to be and where they were going. He was just helping and he didn’t want them to be in danger in case he were ever interrogated. He could easily get away by saying he doesn’t know. He had provided the father and daughter duo with shelter till their fake IDs were being made by his friend Siddharth.

 The night before that day Shekhar had just tucked Roohi in bed and came to the drawing room. Without a single word being exchanged Aryan had prepared a drink for each. He handed Shekhar his glass while cheering it with his own. They were down fifth round and the alcohol was beginning to speak as Aryan heard Shekhar speak. It was all so surreal, he never thought that Tara, Shekhar and Roohi would break apart this way.

Shekhar was blabbering the same story again and again about how he had heard Tara speaking about divorcing him and taking Roohi’s custody. He was confessing his undying love for Tara but the very next moment he said he hated her for thinking of such a thing. As Shekhar was finishing his sixth drink, he collapsed right there on the carpet the honey coloured scotch staining the carpet slowly. Aryan picked him up slowly and placed him on the sofa.

They were friends though Aryan had been his senior. They both had worked in the same office for some time. Aryan had changed his job just in time. The office reminded Aryan of his wife.
 He hated his wife like he had never hated any other human being on this planet. He had a happy family but Neonica was always tough with Neil. Neil was their boy. She had never cared for them both, he did not mind that but she always belittled, underestimated and discouraged Neil. Neil came crying to him one night, as he was preparing his presentation. Neil never cried no matter what. He shut the laptop and hugged him. After a lot of coaxing he had complained about his mother. Aryan put him to bed and told him that all will be changed from tomorrow. The next day he had been shocked to find Neil lifeless on the bed. A white froth dripped from his mouth. He shouted for Neonica. When Neil was taken to hospital, he was declared brought dead. He had taken all the pills inside their first-aid box. Neonica was in shock, she never spoke after that day and he doesn’t know till date that where is she. He did not want to know. His ten year old was no more and it was all because of Neonica.

As he cleaned the Scotch from his carpet he was determined to provide Shekhar and Roohi their chance at a happy life. He did not want someone else to suffer from what he did.
As he was sitting in the drawing room sipping his morning tea the newspaper laid on the table. His eyes left the spot left by the scotch on his carpet as his thoughts ended. But a new trail began the very next. Tara was devastated, he had seen her go from youthful and young to old and worried in a matter of ten days. He was in fix whether to tell her or not. He could not risk Shekhar and Roohi but even Tara was in pain. He shook his head as he distracted his mind by reading the article creating headlines.  

Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com. #CelebrateBlogging with us.

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Breathe you

I breathed in,
I am clueless.
There is a fragrance filling me slowly.
It is intoxicating.
I want to fill myself up.
I try to catch it all in me and
I crave for more.
No it is not a fragrance,
it is you.
I realize I wanna fill myself
"fill myself with you....."


Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Game of blogs- Cyrus the lawyer (Round 1)

Team Blogsters

Chapter 8

He had no grief in life now but he had seen grief ages ago. His parents had never been happy together. They fought till all they were left with were shrieks, tears, and exhaustion. Luckily, they had separated, sparing him the horror of going through the mental trauma of watching them fight every day. It was decided then and there, he was going to study law and take people like his parents—and children like him—out of their grief.

And now, here he was, Cyrus Daruwala, a successful lawyer with his own practice. He picks up the glass paperweight on his desk absentmindedly rolling it around as he mentally goes over his schedule for the day. His mind goes back to how it all started for him—with his very first case.


​At the time, ​ Cyrus was just one year away from getting his degree. His seniors said he was excellent in what he did, so sometimes, they discussed their cases with him, always ma​i​ntaining client confidentiality, of course.

One evening, as one of his seniors started talking about a case they’d just gotten at the firm where she worked, it struck Cyrus. The client sounded suspiciously like his best friend’s sister, Tara. But lots of people are media professionals living in Mumbai, married to freelance writers, and with a daughter, he told himself.

And then he sighed. Yeah, right.

He knew what he was going to do even as he told himself he knew better.  He picked up the phone, and called Tara. Serves me right if she scolds me and tells me she’s happily married, he thought. In fact, it would be the best reaction he could get. He wanted Tara to be happy. She was like a sister to him.

Tara took a while to admit it to him, she kept up the pretense of being happily married for a while, before breaking down and finally admitting to him. She wasn’t happy in her marriage with Shekhar, where Roohi was her one solace. But things with Shek​h​ar had gotten worse day by day, until finally, it had become unbearable.

Tara wanted to divorce her husband. And she wanted full custody of her daughter.

“I can’t live without her,” she told Cyrus. “She’s all I have left now.”

The next day Tara called him, nearly hysterical. Shekhar had fled, she told him. Before Cyrus could process the information and ask her anything else—or even get her to calm down—Tara added that Roohi was missing as well.

In a shaking voice, Tara had read out a note that Shek​har had left for her.
‘I heard you on the phone last night. Guess what, I don't need you in my life either, but I won’t let you take Roohi away from me. Before you take her away from me, I’m taking her away from you. See how you like it now!’

When she had finished speaking, Cyrus did not know whether to console Tara, or tell her to breathe, speak, say something, anything—the other side of the receiver gave him nothing but an echoing silence.

“Tara?” he’d said worriedly.

“I need to do something. We need to fight back,” came her voice, after a long pause. “I’m flying in to Delhi to meet you tomorrow. My flight lands early morning. Meet me for coffee.”

Cyrus spent the rest of the day poring over case studies and precedent, getting his facts right, making notes in his little book. They’d decided to meet at a little café he knew for brunch, and now it was 12:00 pm. Tara was late. As Cyrus sat there next to the window, sipping his cafe latte, he hoped things would work out for little Tara. She had sounded so anxious on the phone.

Tara’s brother had been his best friend right from their school days. He’d moved away to go to law school, but he’d still kept in touch with the family. Tara had always treated him like a younger brother, and it pained him to think of her suffering this way.  All the time he had known her, she’d been the confident one, guiding him and pulling him out of scrapes in school—but now it was she who was dependent on him to get her through this ordeal. He had never anticipated that something like this would happen in Tara's life. He was going to help her no matter what it took.

She entered the cafe with a chime of bells over the door. The waiter greeted her with a smile.

"Good afternoon, ma’am. Do you have a reservation?"

"Yes, I’m meeting Mr. Cyrus Daruwala. He should be here by now."

"Come right this way, ma’am."

In her purple dress shirt and black pants with matching pencil heels, Tara looked as graceful as always. As the waiter pulled out a chair for her, Tara dismissed him with a nod.

They greeted each other, and then there was an awkward silence. With a deep breath, Cyrus dove right into it.

“Tell me everything,” he said. “I know you told it to me before, but I need to hear it from the very beginning. The root cause of all this.”

There was a silence.

Tara leaned forward, resting her hands on the table top. She pressed her hands down as if gaining some unseen strength from it. Cyrus could see that she wanted her daughter back; her face was full of determination.  And then Tara sighed, and began narrating the whole story to Cyrus.

Shekhar and Tara had once had a very peaceful life. They had been happy with each other. They were both content with their careers, and their daughter Roohi. It all changed when Shekar was laid off. At first, Tara had supported the family financially while he tried to find another job.

And then, one fine day he told Tara that he was going to be a writer. Till he made it big and published his novel, he’d freelance from home, he’d said, and that is when the things started going downhill. Tara had to take on more at work because they were dependent on her salary until Shekh​ar could establish a freelance practi​ce for himself. She had to work long hours, late nights, and Shekhar was left to look after Roohi.

There was conflict between them because of that. It hadn’t helped when Shek​h​ar started feeling insecure and jealous, telling her not to work nights, constantly checking up on her, calling her every two hours. Tara had grown frustrated and told him that it was her job, and the money it brought home, that called for odd times. Shek​h​ar did not—or could not—understand, but Tara agreed to all his terms to save her marriage.

And still, Shek​har made no effort to change or cooperate with her. They fought every night when she returned from work. The verbal abuse was terrible. Roohi was affected by all this, which was when Tara had finally decided they needed to separate, for their daughter’s sake.

Leaning forward, Cyrus squeezed Tara’s shoulder as she wiped at her damp eyes with a tissue. Her coffee cup lay empty before her; she hadn’t been able to eat anything. Cyrus assured her that they had a strong case on their hands as according to the law, Shekhar had kidnapped Roohi, and was bound to go to jail as soon the police found them.

Cyrus pressed Tara to share a little of his pasta, and she accepted after some cajoling. Cyrus had already decided he would take care of his surrogate elder sister. She needed someone to lean on right now.

An hour later, after discussing the case again and rehashing the details one more time, Tara took her leave.

“I need to get back to the office,” she said with regret. “God knows I want to stay, but this project needs me. And I need the money. For the legal battle.” Her bottom lip trembled as she put on her sunglasses, but when she stood, her professional demeanour was back in place, and shook hands with him wordlessly. Tara left the café without a 
​backward​ glance.

As he watched her go, Cyrus ordered one more cup of his favorite café latte. He neede​d​ to get down in his little notebook everything he had heard from Tara.

Half an hour later, the coffee cup was empty, and his notebook was full.


Now it was three years later, and they’re still waiting for Shekhar and Roohi to be found. Cyrus had solved a number of cases but his first case—the most important one to him, personally—is yet to be solved.

Sitting at his desk, Cyrus doesn’t feel the glass paperweight under his fingertips, his thoughts are with Tara. A knock on the door breaks his reverie.

Composing his demeanor and returning to his professional attitude he looks up at his assistant,  Mr. Roy.

“Sir, ACP Sanjay Arora called. There’s been a development in the case.”​

Here is the link to the previous chapter:
Chapter 7
This is a part of the #celebrateblogging
Me and my team are participating in ‘Game Of Blogs’ at BlogAdda.com. #CelebrateBlogging with us.