"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

..Always yours..

Resting her head on his lap her joy knew no bounds.The last months spent without being able to meet him or talk to him had been like some harsh penance she had taken on herself.He turned her face towards his just to stare day long into those eyes.She raised her hands touching his face,passing through every outline of his cheekbones, Adam's apple,nose,eyes,forehead.And then she stopped resting her hands on his cheeks.She smiled a very unusual smile to which he looked at and said 'Areyy..'
She giggled knowing that he hadn't deciphered what that smile meant to convey.She sat up and told him to lie down.And after he lied down she too laid herself besides him.Both facing each other.She moved her hands to hold his,tight and secure just like she had thought while they were away.Their breathe was growing in amplitude and rhythm,too late to be able to stop.She struggled to move a bit above as for he was taller than him.Brushing her lips softly on his chest,neck,cheeks...He withdrew his hands from hers and cupped up his hands around her cheeks,pulling her very close to himself.He reached very near just some fraction of gaps left between his and her mouth.And he held himself back.She had closed her eyes by then,waiting for something that she could only let sink in with eyes closed.He looked gently at her and thought to himself how beautiful she looked with those eyes closed,a serene calm on her face,almost negligible breathe..she whispered 'are you afraid?'
He laughed softly and came just the close as he had left their lips.Pressing inch by inch he seemed to consume her with every moan and sigh. Tongues wriggling inside her mouth,it was dominating..he was dominating.She didn't want it to stop,thrusting deep inside her was his essence.She decided to play a bit when he paused to rest his tongue.She now played inside his mouth almost  winning the fierce battle.He laughed from in between all this.They parted their lips.She opened her eyes,they were red and moisture had started to build up in them.He embraced her tightly not wanting to let go for eternity.She dug her face deep down in his chest and moved her hands gently in his hairs.He caressed her back.Warmth was emitted in all possible directions around them.The winter had seem to vanish which had seeped only some days ago this November.The feeling of being able to experience the love out of this was just ecstatic.She could not make her brain to think anymore and he decided that his should shut too.Their beats were almost in sink.They could only hear the magical music of the silence accompanied by the soulful beats.
She wanted to say so much yet something held her back.She didn't want to ruin this feeling of submergence and possession which was beyond all the wordily pleasures.They held each other like the color of flames,cells inside body,horizon and sky...
She mumbled softly to him...Paarth I love you..
He kissed her and said Rudhira...stay with me..you were,are and will be always mine..inside my heart and merged with my soul..and..... I ..am always yours..!

Saturday, November 12, 2011


Lying down on numbness.
I can hear the throb still.
Pulsating in thy.

The moonlight's proliferating shine,
tricking my senses,
imagining pricks of snow-white flakes.

Arch-fiend unquestioning.
Resting his hunger on my lips.
Rough and dry through touches.

Pealing skin peeps out,
spouting fountains of crimson beads.
Unbound pain thrives to reach pleasure.

Hidden in the crevices of heart.
Flashing fiery desires that ignite,
sensational burst of chill.

You are covering me tight,
and secure so to warm.
The embrace smothering brilliantly.

Hurt just remaining a word.
Tears remaining frozen dew.
Do you care to mend the cracks?


Monday, November 07, 2011

In need of ME..!!(2)

It's a part two to one of my very old poem.. > In need of ME..!! 

Wavering in the wind,

teasing thyself.
Once again Ripping m/e
The game that was on, 
of shadows and stares.
Present one moment,
bygone the other right there.
Curling the words in mouth,
it couldn't produce to m/e.
Me consoled and caressed m/e.
M/e seemed numb and dead.

Me wouldn't give up till m/resurrects,

through the ghastly whirlpool and currents.
Bloody battling of piercing words.
Loathed atmosphere that remained in past,
once again lingers upright and erect.
The growling need haunts again,
and me promise this time,
me shall put it to end.
The pain of m/e me engulf.
M/let mocking shadows burn me to ashes.
Me ceases m/e screaming.
Shadow's hunger and passion sufficed.
My separated m/e joined again.
Me mingles to the healed M/e..!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Hanged in space..

Standing on her terrace her mind roamed about in sheer randomness.She was thinking about her days happening not so happening she murmured to herself.In need of something her heart ached and she looked down into the empty dark space beneath her eyes which were now wandering outside the boundary of the secure railings of the terrace.
Parky wind flew from the front and she felt all her senses going numb as if they were trying to make her go calm and feel the chill right down her spine.How does it make a difference to the person she might be thinking about right now?Why does she have to think about that person and not about herself?
Each question produced a secondary..tertiary and so on and so forth questions ahead.Reeling in her mind like some unstoppable fierce wave engulfing with each proceeding.The aura of the night which was starting to mix with the pure white sky also couldn't soothe her to cease her from thinking.
She lied down on that dirty terrace floor avoiding any further questions flooding her mind.As she withdrew to watching the merger of the white and black she decided she would let her mind stop just for once.Her heartbeat rose a million times or so she imagined.A sense of excitement,enthrallment and nervousness gripped her whole being as she saw a number flash on her mobile screen.
She couldn't react to it fast cause she had time absorbing the very fact that the very thing she wished she could cut off from had given its hand out to her as if to stop her from falling in the unknown horizon.She pressed that small green color tab on her cell and bringing it in position to talk she said "hello"
But her voice was not heard as if the very sound produced inside her didn't come out and got lost in the mysterious realm of world.She tried again this time with much greater effort and finally said Hello..
She didn't hear anything back cause she didn't know what the other voice would say because her realistic world didn't allow her imaginary friend to become alive and reply.She had felt so lonely that she created a imagination out of her loneliness.She stared the mobile screen and laughed at her own conditions.How sane she was some months ago and how one confession has left her shattered and ruffled.
She replayed the conversation in her mind once again.That very day when she had confessed and revealed something she had concealed long even from herself,her heart,her soul..
Rudhira tried hard to understand..walk ahead..accept changes..but she was unable to and she always wished the things would fall in place just like she had seen them in the beginning with him.Paarth had been too adamant..not understanding a single feeling she would hint him with..Sometimes occupied with himself so much that he ignored the very fact of her being with him.
If she had a magic wand and she could tell him how much she was bearing right now within her..how much she wished that he enter her..how much she wished to meet him and let know what is desire,longing, belonging and possessiveness according to her..how much she wished him to know that how jealous it made her to know of someone else..
Paarth has been in his dream world for too long..has discarded the fact of understanding with heart..has gone too far..
She has left the stains of her cry on him..wishing one day that he would understand that what it is to be alone despite the fact that you had surrendered yourself with all your heart and soul to someone you understood..trusted..desired with..hungered the passion and lust equally with..and let the flaws be called perfection..
Is she not worthy of his choice?..is she not anything to him?..Is loving not enough to let him never leave her?..
She wished this ends soon..she wishes its not slow and painful..she wishes and she stares down watching the ground resembling an unending dark abyss..
She falls each time down and hard as she looks..she dies hundred deaths every moment missing his presence..she dies everytime she watches the solitary road welcoming her to submerge inside it..she dies watching the deep lake with its blue welcoming tinge..she dies everytime piercing herself with sharp edges to break the dream..she dies everytime watching the eager fire flame..she dies every time he wafts away her feelings like smoke in air..she dies every minute he spends with someone who didn't belong to him..
Patience has died down..eyes have lost their tears..saturation has been attained..wait is too short a word to describe the pain right now..