Attraction or Love?

She walked skeptical on every path but at times she could just feel it in her bones. It was right there in front of her. She had fallen in love with a guy who in no way could have possibly matched her dreams.

Wait what? She did not have any dream about a guy. She hated boys from a very young age cause well A) The people around her always seemed to say that boys are bad, and B) She grew her own disliking cause of childish incidents.

This guy she had talked with at random was making her happy and she just couldn't shut up. She talked a lot like a stream of water was flowing because the sun has finally shone bright and high making the glacier melt.

This was nine years back. She had fallen in love and she kept falling in love everyday with him. There was nobody else so perfect, not even her father came close. She realized some relations without blood are much more precious than could be defined. 

Today was no different. Her heartbeat sped up the moment she saw him. The smile on her face was automatic and she couldn't stop the butterflies in her stomach. The hugs and kisses were too magical, making her forget about the whole damn world.

She met a guy recently. They talked for sometime. On and off for few months and then she could see something. This other guy was attracted to her and she couldn't make him to stop. This energy in the air was crackling and refreshing. She felt good about herself. She felt different.

At times you need a whiff of the coffee brewing some miles away from your favorite cafe, just so that you know that what you have is so special and nothing can replace it.

Attractions are temporary, they make you feel alive for some time. Its thrilling and the adrenaline rush is amazing. But love makes you feel alive all the time, every time. 

Excoriated Soul..

How does it feel to loose your soul? Difficult to answer cause rare ones have felt the existence of soul and some doubt of it being in reality within us.

It just vanished in thin air..there she laid her eyes wide open and she couldn’t say anything, nor move. Like a statue carved out of white marble, those delicate pink lips, deep blue eyes, and spectacular countenance. Time had frozen as she had wished so many times; everything turned cold –her body, mind, heart. The palpitation it stopped, her face was as if she was witnessing utmost calm and peace with a horror still prying her eyes.

One day back she had what she thought the most wonderful feeling of her life, something moved in her, she felt her heart rise with joy, her being drenched with togetherness .She placed her hand on his and he reverted back by putting his on her. Lying there together they had never ever thought that there could be something so wonderful in this whole-wide world. Though the shattering of the inner self of her wasn’t known to him and she bet it that the last blow would bring her down to pieces that could never be rejoined or regaled. Closing her eyes, she intertwined her fingers in his. They lay hugged with each other, she wanted to whisper something in his ears but her words have dried, tears trickled down her cheeks and she couldn’t understand whether it was of joy or of sorrow. She watched his face, it had taken a pale color but yet it seemed satiable, those closed eyes were showing calm, the breathe was signifying harmony. She brushed his hairs away from his eyes with one hand and with the other she caressed his back. His lips turned into a smile and he pulled her face close to his and kissed her lips. The night covered them in the dark aura of enchantment and seeming doubtless love. She watched him whole night sleeping and she was amazed by the fact still that this had happened with her.

Then by the time the sun had rise and his senses were getting ready to wake up ,she had closed her eyes with hands still tightly gripped together and the embrace the same way that it had been in the beginning.

Today she woke up and found herself lying all alone by herself on the bed and she didn’t knew what it meant. She got up afraid and insecure but she crossed her doubts and put up a smile across her face. As she searched all through the places wrapped in a blanket through the bedroom, drawing room, kitchen, balcony and then finally she reached the main entrance door to her house and there on the table by the side of the door laid a envelope. The door was ajar and she picked up the envelope, pulling out the piece of paper read the content

Dear

      Undefined,

                     Yesterday evening and night was something I can never forget ever. I would remember it whole my life. It was a wonderful feeling to possess you inside me and talk with you for so long. I had not slept that way for a longtime and I was so relaxed after I had poured myself out to you. There were some secrets and some fears that I had let you know and I hope you would keep them all to yourself. Before meeting you yesterday evening I had not planned anything and I didn't have the slightest intentions to be like that with you. And I was aghast that I let that all happen. Today morning when I got up and realized what I had done to you and what you might have felt by it I was really ashamed of myself. But I didn’t regret it cause I feel there might be something good behind it. Don’t misinterpret me but I can’t be what I was to you yesterday, it was someone else in me and I am not that and as far as I know I can’t be that. I am leaving for my home today and I wish that we don’t keep in touch. The relation that I had shared with you was very beautiful and I might never come across such a relationship but trust me the reality of life is that whatever begins has to end too and I mean about this relation and this has to end, it has come to it’s end point. Have a blessed life ahead and I am not the one you seek for there might be someone who wants to never end but just be in the beginning with you and I am not that.

                                                                                                                      Yours,

                                                                                                                       Invincible

Yes dear all she was the undefined and he was the invincible. Invincible could not ever define her and Undefined could not ever conquer him. Separations happen to everyone but some are just unbearable and that was the final blow that was being feared and it broke her to pieces and there she lay like shattered pieces of glasses with lost identity and life. She lay there dead out of the sudden expulsion of realization after the dream that proved itself to be so and not reality.

Picture Courtesy

भ्रम ..

हर डोर टूट ती सी,

हर ज़ख्म गहराता |

नमी  आँखों में,

दिल को बहलाता |

रक्तिम लहू बहता है हर ज़र्रे से |

आशिक तेरा जलता है हर पहर में |

शब मुश्किल है दिखना,

नामुमकिन तो नहीं |

रात काली है ज़रूर ,

पर बेरेहेम तो नहीं |

हलकी चांदनी से भीगा जाए,

ये सारा आशियाँ प्यार की धुन  में,

सहेजे थे फूल इष्क के, 

अब काँटों को कैसे छोड़ दें | 

प्रेम रागिनी का सितम, 

तो सहना होगा |

दिल लगाया अजनबी से, 

भ्रम तो एक दिन टूटना ही होगा |