Turmoil

"Tune mere Jana kabhi nahi jana"

Softly crooning to the guitar chords and empty beats.

The pain and despair is evident in your eyes as the song plays on loop.

The love and anguish are moving hand in hand, neither can you be and nor can you leave.

Those moments make or break the relation.

"Oh heart of mine with a song and a whine you're harsh and divine like the truth and a lie."

The persistent reminder of a heartache and faint smile from the backdrop of it all as life unfolds.

You are holding all the cards in your hand but the player in front of you is controlling all your moves and the player in front of you assumes vice-versa for you.

It's hard living with a single decision everyday and then we ask that do we have a choice. But in reality it is the choice we have made. To be or not to be.

In the tough times you got to hold and move on.

"Wake me up when it's all over, when I am wiser and I am older."

Pestilence stricken

How many times you have opened and shut the balcony gate. The heart is tired and the mind yearns for some space.

The constant ticking of the clock and monotonous routine. This is the caged feeling where your head feels heavy. Round the clock, every second, every minute, every hour and this eternity that seems to be going on.

The body is rotting from inside and senses are shutting with constant bickering all around virtually. You know because you got to stay home.

Hobbies have become shackles and the mind is bogged down with the same pattern. When will the breeze of fresh air make the heart feel light? When will we greet some new sights for the sore eyes?

All of a sudden they seem to be distant memories. The atmosphere is plagued and I have written here a pestilence stricken summary.

Warmth

Maybe it is for good or maybe not. When you left, the warmth left with you. I thought of borrowing a little of it before you left but I was late. Maybe it is my stupidity and asking for more is what has led you to go.

As far away you walked from me, the winter came in stronger. The blankets did little to save me from the cold my heart was beginning to feel.

Thinking of you sometime, I felt angry at myself. Why should I visit the doors that are closed? why should I suffer to thinking alone?

I didn't have any answer and you wouldn't share the burden of the questions.

The tree I loved to smelt at this time of year, felt no good either. I was there but I wasn't, I am here but I ain't.

I cry just like that, I feel too much all of a sudden, sadness adorns me and I stop thinking. This goes on like a circle.

When you left I felt the warmth leaving. Like the last flicker of a glowing candle before it blows off. And the cold runs through my spine everyday.

To the..

To the sweet good morning kisses and fiery nights.

Smelling the red wine in your muffled breathe while i lick your lips in anticipation. The red hot rods glaring at me from behind you as it cools our naked bodies in the winter.

All of a sudden its too hot in winters. When we are embraced in each others arms, my face reaches your armpit to snuggle and smell the sweat. Its sweaty and when i lick it, it tastes of ocean but i still love the way it feels, it arouses me.

Reaching up to your face i feel the prickly two day beard you have scrubbing my face, it burns so i move to capture your sweet and plump lips in mine. The smell of the garlics from the pesto spaghetti we had. Its mild and indulgent, almost makes me want to fill your mouth with some more of spaghetti and be fed from you.

Going to more intimate regions i smell the hunger emanating for her. So i lick and suck the sensitive zones which makes you hiss and moan. Caressing the bearings under them i plan to throw you in frenzy. Want to make you want me more.

When you caress my back with your hand, resting to pick and squeeze a bone you find. Crossing my hands behind my back just to see the protruding bones you picked on a while ago. I hiss and tell you to stop. You shower me with kisses.

"I imagined you in that short dress, how sexy you looked"  you say. I smile like i can see what you imagined. You curl a little more harder around me as if the imagination just turned real.
Your face, the marks and memory etched on them. I touch them and ask you the stories. Listening to them i am transported to that time where i can see as you go on unaware of the future, of the future where you would tell me all about it.

Barging into the room, you are singing same line of the song again and again in a cheerful and ecstatic tone. You have come back early from work you announce. I look at the smile on your face, it seems to be spreading all over you.

"When will you come back?" i ask and that is enough to make you distraught and cold. I want to take my words back because i feel like i committed a crime too grave. But its too late and your tone is condescending and behaviour is stolid while you give an answer appropriate in your mind for a crime like that.

The things are thrown around everywhere in that one room we are present. It's all too messy. I am careless and clumsy. Breaking a glass, the china bowl or that coveted bottle for storing water. I make a mess everywhere i go.

Simmering the milk on low i want to cook that sweet dish with dry fruits and tapioca pearls, after all you haven't eaten all day and kept fast. Just the way you like it, with no sugar and thickened milk.

"There are other things besides food and sleep, why don't you explore it?" you ask. "I do want to do that" i reply back. Not too convinced with my reply you glare at the mundane and monotonous way your life seems. I become a burden to you with my affirmation, making you realise how i am fine with just the way the things are.

I am a liar and a procrastinator. But i am also a lover and child at heart still making  out the head and tail of life. I want fairy lights, dreamcatchers, wind chimes, random and obscured photo of ours hanging from the rope pinned with a clip, bed made of wood crates, three sides of wall painted with white colour and one side painted pitch black, i want to lie on the cold ground with you in summer nights sharing a glass of chilled cocktail and watch the night turn into morning. But i have habits and expectations which dull all that i want. 

And all remains but nothing.

Loyal Companion

"I used to sit in your room and not open the door or the window because you did not like it. It was difficult for me to stay in the room whole day and not go out. But I did it because you liked it that way."

Caging someone in a place where they have to kill their wishes just so that you can be happy.

Controlling your emotions because your emotions will effect someone else.

Relations are always complicated. Sacrifices are the biggest mistake and compromises are key to weaken relations day by day slowly.

Expect but don't expect those expectations to get fulfilled. Life is as it is so difficult and here we get up and make promises to make it more difficult by being in love .

What is right? What is wrong? Who is right? Who is wrong? Whose wishes should be fulfilled and whose done away with?

Make somebody miserable once and then let it be long enough and let that be the last one. Go on with your life alone because as I said it's already difficult itself.

The only loyal companionship that can be  is with hollowness. It never leaves you. Never.

Despair

There is a searing pain as if something is being ripped apart from the body. Its necessary at times to separate oneself from someone, just because you know being together will not make a difference.

It takes time, patience and a lot of pain but i think it eventually happens. You can let someone live in peace and howsoever they want to without burdening them with yourself.

Time and again you realise that how important it is to not put your hopes and wishes on someone else because they would rarely come true.

Magic and fairytales are only there for the books, real life is about longing and despair. 

Till we meet..

The flickering lights fall on my face. What else did I expect?

It is blinding and chilling, sitting on these bar stools. I absolutely hate these stools, I long for a comfortable couch but I wont opt for that. Yes, seems like I have finally let go last shred of sanity.

I want it and I have it right in front of my eyes but those couches hold memory. It has been 3 months since he has left for work and I am pining badly for him right now. No calls are returned till the weekends and no mushy talks follow if I get through to him on weekdays. It is Saturday, at least today I can hope for that long late night talk.

-----

Destination needs to be changed he said

I beamed a happy smile mirroring his. He hugged me and told me how my smile was what he was waiting for. Why I had asked him and being the ever so sweet guy he is, he told me it was like a confirmation and seal to the ticket of the new work place.

-----

I cant leave this place because I have restrictions. Yes I know I can break through and all but well even I have needs here. But I need him too.

See I am totally positive that I am nuts.

Long distance is a pain in the a** but well I know that when we finally do meet it will be so good. I will see that happy smile of his, snuggle in his arms and take in the tantalizing scent of his cologne.

I stand up paying for the tequila shots. The alcohol has finally kicked in the nervous system. I feel a little tipsy but nothing that I cant handle. I hold the shrug closer to myself, self hugging if I may say. Exiting the bar I walk down towards our empty home.

Keeping the keys on the drawer I eagerly move towards the phone I had intentionally left on the bed.

11 missed calls

2 messages

My heart flutters with joy, the calls are his and the messages are random. Removing the heels, I grab my phone. I slide to camera mode and click a picture of myself in the blue little dress he had gifted me on our last marriage anniversary. Sharing it to him through messages I fall back on the bed.

The phone rings and I fall into the velvety cloud his voice weaves, the longing disappears momentarily. My easy tone guides him to my state and he plays with my imagination till he comes back for real to hold his sweetheart.

डर

बेवक़्त एक आहट जगा जाती है हमे नींद से
वो सिरहाने आके बाल सहलाते हैं प्यार से
जैसे मोह जुड़ा हो हमसे कोई
और हम आँखें मूंदते हैं उनकी इछाओं से

डर लगता है वो दे न पाएंगे
डर लगता है वो कह न पाएंगे
जो वो चाहते हैं सुना बड़े लगाव से

वो कुछ देर बाद उठ चले जाते हैं
नींद हमारी अपने संग लेकर
हम सोचते हैं क्यों है केहना इतना मुश्किल
की हम भी चाहते हैं उन्हें उसी चाह से

Image Courtesy

खामोशियाँ

न बेताबियाँ थी
न ही थी गुस्ताखियाँ
थी तो बस खामोशियाँ
 
न हम कुछ कह सके
न वो हमे सुन सके

कुछ पल हमारे खिलाफ थे
या युहीं दोष दे रहे थे हम पलों को

दिल में जो गुफ्तगू की एक आस जगी थी
आज भी वह अधूरी ही रह गयी

कहनी थी जो बात हमे
खामोशियों में ही बह गयी

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Cause it is hurting..

It is a sudden urge arising inside you when you have not been given something. Something that the other person said you would be given but are not given and you have this ever growing fragile hope which grows strong with every passing second and after one fine moment you realize it was but said in the spur of the moment and you were stupid enough to believe it as a silent promise of there will be something more. Something more which the other person is not capable of giving to you.The stock to which has already been utilized and given to someone else.So there is no hope none at all for you.
And there is this  sudden urge to destroy everything around and within you. Every type of emotion clinging to you making you feel dizzy with the copious amount of dosage.Within is not a place easy to be reached so you focus on your surroundings for destrcution.

Removing everything good you liked or erasing things which you know deep down are so close to you. You just make them die cause you can’t bear to see them. You wait helplessly to let that urge and that awful feeling to subside. Sleep which was so easy some moments back becomes a hard task. Tossing and turning in bed and consoling yourself with stupid excuses and reasons. A step to destroy everything good and nice cause hope is a bad thing. It hurts you more than soothing. What is the point of expecting something which won’t ever happen? Submerging yourself in something whose future is already known to you to be painful? 
Seeking something from hollownes..you can dive inside a well which is fathoms deep and doesn't provide you with a ground to have a final fall.You will fly around in the darkness with a sight that is lost,will that is crumbled,efforts that are ruined and tears which are unshed.

And you murmur to yourself incessantly, waiting for the due sleep which would eventually come to you when it is already time to get up….to fall once again..

This black is making me think

painting my world and covering the colorful tints.

Can't you understand me?

At times you are talking with someone on phone or face to face and you want them to understand.Now the question is what do you want them to understand.Some might think that whatever is being talked about..well yes..some might think what is the state of the talker..well yes again..But what i am going to talk about is understanding what a person is expecting in the core of their heart.
People who have known each other for longtime know the other persons activities,reactions and habits.So based upon that after a while they hint whatever they want from the other person but yet that doesn't come.What makes a person change so much that they forget to do something which was so very normal.
A conversation would make you understand better,here it goes:

Known for about an year
"He-Hey
She-Hie
He-You know my day was so adventurous today.I did a lot of fun stuffs and learnt new things.
She-Nice.Even i had a fun day.
He-So what were you doing?
She-Completing some work and thinking about you.
He-Wow! Even i was thinking about you.I am missing you.
She-Aww..I wish we could meet."

The guy knew the girls motive was to know if he felt the same about her like she did(the missing thing).

After 3 years
Mind you they still talk nicely and the relation is maintained steady.
"He-Hie
She-Hello
He-Did you read the newspaper today?
She-Yeah.I know right you are talking about the 'Words' topic written there.
He-Exactly! It is so amazing.
She-I know.You know i was thinking about you.
He-Ok! So how is everyone at home?
She-They are doing good.You know i missed you.
He-I see.
She-What were you doing?
He-Nothing much.Was just reading the article."

Now here you see she tried hinting him so many times to know if he felt the same way.But he won't budge.Once if this happens is sort of understandable.What would you think when this repeats again and again whenever you try?
At times it happens with me too that i want someone to understand what i want but they don't even seem to consider let alone think about it.
Change is fine but what if it leads to a person so void of understanding?

Image courtesy

The void

Banishing every thought in my mind was possible or so i thought.Huge canvases of black laid in front of my closed eyes waiting to be given colors.I don't like colors that much but still they screamed to me to paint them.I am yearning for the void ,to reach stability.The non-existent part of me.My esoteric insignia different from every other known.I dwell in my ethereal void but without my knowledge when i sleep and slip into the realms unknowns.

A electric jolt like sensation crosses every cell of my body.As suddenly i lie with open eyes now staring at the very same spot continuously ,infinite number of memories cross my eyes.Covered in blanket embracing myself as yet i shiver in the cold night.And floodgates of the blocked thoughts open as each of them try running in front of the other through the thick coat of layered silence.

Image Courtesy

Voice lost

I tried as much as i could,

and now there is no more.

I failed to have you.

I got rejected.

And I stand here today

stranded and alone

with my voice lost..

Image Courtesy

Unnamed

As the moonlight lit the paved boulevard,it almost occurred simultaneously that how for fraction of second it must have been all dark through the trees and still was in some places where the shadow of the tree covered the road.There was no sign of a single soul in that almost ghastly silence.A parky wind blew through the blanket of night.Flickering the candles which she had lit on the post of entry inside the house.Her hairs played in their own tune ruffling and messing up as if almost wanting to follow what the winds wanted.She wanted wings to grow out of her,to be able to tear every bond and fly out high inside the dark black clouds.The melodious tune of the wind chimes penetrated every molecule of the air in vicinity,interrupting her dream to fly.

There are times when you think why did something happen if at all it happened.It is all part of a bigger plan that you are weaving slowly.He has been away for quite sometime,she knew this time he isn't coming back.Her heart screamed in pain but her mind tried to curb it with a logical reasoning.On many days like today they have talked with each other standing on their respective balcony or terrace.Several occasions gifted them with the opportunity to be together in front to be able to touch each other.

She thought to herself what was it that kept them bound to each other for so long and even now in feelings and memories if not any other way.And she remembered something she had heard long back

The gods tie an invisible red string around the ankles of those that are destined to meet each other in a certain situation or help each other in a certain way

It is almost like the concept of having soulmates.It was love that she had for him.Which was in no way distinguishable or comparable to any other feeling she had in her life.Such is the power of love that even the mightiest gods and universe creator have bowed down in front of it.

Shiva(a hindu god) when fell in love with sati because of her pure devotion,love and sacrifice of human life for him was bound with her forever.When she died he could not live like a god.Anger was his display on discovering of her death,nothing seemed right to him without her in his life.He left his home(supposed to be the heavens) and came on earth,he started dwelling a life of Bairagi until and unless he met her reincarnation.

She believed in her love but she was aware that no matter how hard she would want to be with him,she cannot be.A chance to be with him for whatever period possible did make her learn many things.She didn't regret whatever she did with him.Her longing was insatiable.Her mind always asked her Can life come to standstill if he is not there with you? She smiled talking to her mind you won't stop,cause you are not an emotional fool.Then she looked at her heart and said you damned are going to be all for him always.She was touched and possessed by him forever.She bore his mark on her.How much so ever she wanted to be with someone else,it wasn't possible because she was bound in an unbounded and unnamed relation with him.If only she had what he wanted in her,if only he had fallen in love with her,if only it was possible not to share him with anyone..

Falling leaves wishing goodbyes.

Hugging thyself she looks in sky.

Cloaked in the darkness she smiles whispering, 

maybe he is feeling that i am embracing him!

Close..

Memories weaved through moments,

glacier like they flood my soul tonight!

Wetting my parched heart on the way, 

air of nostalgia speeding past.

Tinging pale blue longing in being,

chilling the dimmed surround Oh! so slow.

Warmth that i sense,

nearing I coadunate with you.

Image Courtesy

Undefined bond..

It was rather a tiresome day and she wasn't finding solace in whatever she did.As soon as she changed her clothes and kept her head on the pillow to sleep, her cell vibrated.Wondering who could be calling her this late she just picked it up without even seeing the number she said Hello.No response from the other side strange so she looks at the number.A deep surprise plus shock wave hits her its him its him her mind screams and her heart is doing somersaults.

Hey say something

I did say.I said hello

He started laughing

She couldn't suppress her but she chose it to be mute and didn't show him.

He exclaimed What happened was it too bad that you are so silent?

I just don't know.I mean finally you remember to call me after telling me five days back that you would ring me up in ten minutes.Does my watch work too fast or yours is too slow?

Oh! I said that i would call?Is it?

Yes Mr. you said so and you didn't.That's why the silence wasn't fun and your laughter not infectious.

Hmm..Ok tell me what would make you laugh?

You figure that out.Do some work you lazy bum.

Hahahaha..How would a hug work for you?

Don't say or ask.Just try!

Tell me where do i have to meet you?

What?

Where and when do you want to meet me?

How can you be so nice I mean how did you figure out i wanted you to meet me?

See that smile playing on your lips.

Okay okay i give up I am smiling but you have to meet okay?

Of course idiot i would meet you and so i said where do you wanna meet me.

Okay tomorrow we both take day off from whatever we are doing and meet up some place then decide what we are going to do.

Alright!Meet me at the same station at 9 in the morning.

Done! Okay talk to you later.Now i am so damn tired and sleepy though didn't want to say so but now that we are meeting it seems alright to say so.

Okay.Take care and keep smiling.

I love you.You keep smiling too.See you.

See you.

All smiles she was and sleeping meant direct getaway to heaven and letting out plans of what to do with him tomorrow.In the morning she woke up rather early.It was 5 on the clock and she said to herself good for me, would do everything taking lots of time.Her favorite red color kurti and the black jeans. Accessorizing herself with a silver bracelet,a fragile looking chain with a butterfly pendant and those oxidizers which he had gifted him.She applied kohl to her eyes,mascaras on her eyelashes,a sweet light pink lipstick and a silver bindi complementing her whole attire.

She glanced at the watch it was 8:30 am.She exclaimed perfect timing now i'll be there just in half an hour.Jingling her house keys she reached the station in an hour and messaged him

Where are you?

After ten minutes her cell beeped Look around and find me :)

Don't fool around.Tell me where are you?

I can see you miss red and black ;)

Hey..that means you are around somewhere but where?

That is what you are going to find out :D

Caught you B)

So come near me

Stupid stop messaging i am in front of you

First you.

She spoke ok now stop.They both giggled like a fresh,new,happy couple.What the others didn't know was that they were not actually couples and that they have known each other for very longtime.

Do you have water?

Yes! For you my eminence.Here! All yours.

Hahaha..I knew you would have water.

Yes i bring it for you every time.

He looked at her all the while he was drinking water.His mind jolting into thousand of flashes.He had imagined more than a day with her in those few seconds.She could sense he was going somewhere else through her eyes.She smiled and asked so what next?

You tell me.You have anything in your mind?

Yes i do.How about we hit either your place or mine.

A naughty laugh lingered on both of their faces and he held her hand without saying anything and she let him take her wherever he wanted to.She had full trust on him and that she could never have on anyone else ever.He bought the tickets.Handed her one and took one for self.They entered the train.It was jam-packed and he held onto her hands tightly and she hugged him tightly.It took them one hour to reach the destination.And as she stepped out of the train she knew where were they heading to.They finally reached his place after fifteen minutes.He opened the lock and they both entered.She sat on the sofa and said Aaann..advancement you got a sofa.

Just for you madame(he said smiling gingerly)

She laughed and asked him what he was upto.He came after a some minutes and said hop on the bed.He had a coffee mug in his hand and as soon as she was called she hopped on the bed.He said sip it,she looked at him surprised.He pushed it towards her and then letting the brim in contact with her lips.She sipped and then he sipped from the same mug.He kept it aside and hugged her.Then he slowly looked at her.Her eyes were closed.

Rudhira?

She didn't say anything.He closed his eyes too and neared with the feeling of the heat emanating from her cheeks.His lips met hers and she didn't struggled to go away.Sinking as if into the unknown crevices of which ends were unknown.He tasted the creamy bitter-sweet flavor of the coffee mingled with butterscotch balm she had applied.She could taste the coffee on him.Her hands moved carelessly over him.She couldn't believe what she was doing neither did he know what was happening.Penetrating through and through into each others breathe they could hear each others heartbeat.She was feeling like ice,which was melting with every touch of his.She didn't know to loose control or retreat back.Retreating back wasn't a option it seemed and she gave in with hearty pleasure.

She parted her lips,he looked at those eyes they were still close.Both shed off their inhibitions.They weren't ashamed of finding each other laced in arms bare and being each others cover.Embrace had its whole new meaning redefined for him and her as well.He pulled the blanket over climbing on top of her.He kissed her cheeks,neck,belly and she was let into a delusional world.She was moaning softly and let out Devoid of breath Paarth..

He instantly felt her need rushing towards her lips.His light stubble scratching her soft skin and teasing them with consequent goosebumps as sign.They just couldn't resist the force binding them.He was kissing her so intense while hands working on her arms and shoulders.She was holding onto his hair so tight.Feeling each other as they traversed ages into each other.Their hunger devouring each other accompanied with ferocious growls and bites.She sighed all the more..she was not able to distinguish anything as she felt it like as if in a dream in her reality.They synced and merged with each other becoming one.Holding onto each other tightly,her nail scratched his back and his teeth engraved on her shoulders.A calm took over all of a sudden a rush of pulse and at the same time stop of breath.They fell into a deep trance.The pain mingling with joy.She felt it moving.He identified giving away himself to her.The ephemeral moment etched in deep silence.They slept facing each other sideways hugging each other as to never let go.He bit her ears playfully,she giggled.He then whispered in her ears did you want it?

She opened her eyes looking at his face.His eyes were closed now,she caressed his hairs and she saw tears trickling from the corners of his eyes.She smiled and kissed him everywhere.Then replied him i know this is what we had wanted for so long.She held his hands tightly,putting her face in his chest.He hugged her in that urgency.

They remained that way for way too long.

Seemingly never returning back from their trance...

The scent..

A fragrance wafted in the air.I thought i knew it as i was nodding my head with the beats of the song playing on my i-pod.And as i reeled through each song i could find some bits of memories from my life matching with the wordings of the song.Sure thing happens with most of us.So back to the fragrance.I knew that i have felt it before somewhere but where that was the question.

I looked out of my room struggling out of the warm blanket wrapped around me.There was utter darkness and pin drop silence.Then with utmost precision i opened the creaking window.With full care so that it doesn't wakes anyone else.

I looked outside and there was no one but i could feel the scented air.The diffusion had been slow as the scent came in small bits after every absorbing moment.

I got up and went outside.The night looked more beautiful when you can feel it engulfing you.And that is exactly what i felt,one with dark and silence.

I moved through the wet grasses bare foot,as my anklets jingled happily.There was no tree around our house and nor could anyone find a house to call neighbor before walking 3 kms.

I moved on watching the fireflies flying in the tall grasses.The owls eyes shining perched upon a distant tree.The stars were gazing me and moon was lighting my path.I could feel myself going closer to the scent.And there I saw it.The one fragrance that made me way happy.

As i could feel the winter chills advancing with each passing day.And so i realized it's time for it.The circle of white bunches of pretty flowers scattered underneath the tree.It was the saptaparni(Indian Devil tree).

I lied over there covered in night's beauty.Melancholic calling of the owl in my ears.Accompanied with the heavenly scent of the flowers.And i wasn't aware for how long i stayed that way.Only realizing with the first dew drop falling on me that it's time for the sun to shine and fragrance to fade away with light.

Image Courtesy-Alstonia Scholaris i)The tree's Image had been edited with effects which were not in the original image.

फिर..

उस दहर पे फिर लौट आए

हर ज़र्रा कुछ यही कह रहा है

तू दूर जा रहा है मुझसे 

या करीब आ रहा है?

कह भी नहीं सकते 

छुपा भी नहीं सकते

तेरी खुशबु लिए हर नफस में 

उन निगाहों के आघोष में 

तेरी रूह से लिपट ये दिलबर 

फिर मोहोब्बत की खता कर रही है . .

Image Courtesy

Teaser!?

This poem is submitted by me for Thursday Poets Rally 53!
Ruffled up countenance.

Cascading hairs fall down.

A rhythmic caress, 

ticklish touches,

a smile so naughty, 

a pounce so wild.

The heavy breathing,

merged with pulsating soul.

Cold skin collides! 

Becoming sweaty; 

in the bloody ordeal of,

pinching..scratching..tearing..biting..

Temptation of the trickle, 

drawing beats closer.

Crimson beads fall joyously all around and over.

Fueling the residing passion,lust and anger.

A seemingly last blow silences it all.

Stares grown warm shared with each other.

Hunger rests upon hunger,

smothering over one another.

Tightening the grips, 

was it just the teaser?

Image Courtesy

I want to nominate The Red Raven(Julian Corvinus Javier) 

Zakhm

कुछ पल के लिए हम भी थे रुके, 

पीछे मुड उन निगाहों का;

आगाज़ ज़रुरी सा जैसे हो उठा |

पर वो न ठहरे हुए थे वहाँ|

कम्बख्त दिल में,  

जो वो रुबरु होने की, 

इक चाह मचल गई थी | 

फिर दर्द सा उठा और, 

वो एक और ज़ख्म तौफे में,

हमारे बिन कहे ही छोड गए |

************************

For ephemeral moment i stopped,

to look back in those eyes,

was so intense a urge.

But he was not waiting there.

Crazy heart had that, 

reeling glances desire.

Again a pain resurrected,

and he left me a gift of wound,

without my need to ask.