"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Thursday, May 31, 2012


Memories weaved through moments,
glacier like they flood my soul tonight!

Wetting my parched heart on the way, 
air of nostalgia speeding past.

Tinging pale blue longing in being,
chilling the dimmed surround Oh! so slow.

Warmth that i sense,
nearing I coadunate with you.

Friday, May 25, 2012

Undefined bond..

It was rather a tiresome day and she wasn't finding solace in whatever she did.As soon as she changed her clothes and kept her head on the pillow to sleep, her cell vibrated.Wondering who could be calling her this late she just picked it up without even seeing the number she said Hello.No response from the other side strange so she looks at the number.A deep surprise plus shock wave hits her its him its him her mind screams and her heart is doing somersaults.
Hey say something
I did say.I said hello
He started laughing
She couldn't suppress her but she chose it to be mute and didn't show him.
He exclaimed What happened was it too bad that you are so silent?
I just don't know.I mean finally you remember to call me after telling me five days back that you would ring me up in ten minutes.Does my watch work too fast or yours is too slow?
Oh! I said that i would call?Is it?
Yes Mr. you said so and you didn't.That's why the silence wasn't fun and your laughter not infectious.
Hmm..Ok tell me what would make you laugh?
You figure that out.Do some work you lazy bum.
Hahahaha..How would a hug work for you?
Don't say or ask.Just try!
Tell me where do i have to meet you?
Where and when do you want to meet me?
How can you be so nice I mean how did you figure out i wanted you to meet me?
See that smile playing on your lips.
Okay okay i give up I am smiling but you have to meet okay?
Of course idiot i would meet you and so i said where do you wanna meet me.
Okay tomorrow we both take day off from whatever we are doing and meet up some place then decide what we are going to do.
Alright!Meet me at the same station at 9 in the morning.
Done! Okay talk to you later.Now i am so damn tired and sleepy though didn't want to say so but now that we are meeting it seems alright to say so.
Okay.Take care and keep smiling.
I love you.You keep smiling too.See you.
See you.
All smiles she was and sleeping meant direct getaway to heaven and letting out plans of what to do with him tomorrow.In the morning she woke up rather early.It was 5 on the clock and she said to herself good for me, would do everything taking lots of time.Her favorite red color kurti and the black jeans. Accessorizing herself with a silver bracelet,a fragile looking chain with a butterfly pendant and those oxidizers which he had gifted him.She applied kohl to her eyes,mascaras on her eyelashes,a sweet light pink lipstick and a silver bindi complementing her whole attire.
She glanced at the watch it was 8:30 am.She exclaimed perfect timing now i'll be there just in half an hour.Jingling her house keys she reached the station in an hour and messaged him
Where are you?
After ten minutes her cell beeped Look around and find me :)
Don't fool around.Tell me where are you?
I can see you miss red and black ;)
Hey..that means you are around somewhere but where?
That is what you are going to find out :D
Caught you B)
So come near me
Stupid stop messaging i am in front of you
First you.
She spoke ok now stop.They both giggled like a fresh,new,happy couple.What the others didn't know was that they were not actually couples and that they have known each other for very longtime.
Do you have water?
Yes! For you my eminence.Here! All yours.
Hahaha..I knew you would have water.
Yes i bring it for you every time.
He looked at her all the while he was drinking water.His mind jolting into thousand of flashes.He had imagined more than a day with her in those few seconds.She could sense he was going somewhere else through her eyes.She smiled and asked so what next?
You tell me.You have anything in your mind?
Yes i do.How about we hit either your place or mine.
A naughty laugh lingered on both of their faces and he held her hand without saying anything and she let him take her wherever he wanted to.She had full trust on him and that she could never have on anyone else ever.He bought the tickets.Handed her one and took one for self.They entered the train.It was jam-packed and he held onto her hands tightly and she hugged him tightly.It took them one hour to reach the destination.And as she stepped out of the train she knew where were they heading to.They finally reached his place after fifteen minutes.He opened the lock and they both entered.She sat on the sofa and said Aaann..advancement you got a sofa.
Just for you madame(he said smiling gingerly)
She laughed and asked him what he was upto.He came after a some minutes and said hop on the bed.He had a coffee mug in his hand and as soon as she was called she hopped on the bed.He said sip it,she looked at him surprised.He pushed it towards her and then letting the brim in contact with her lips.She sipped and then he sipped from the same mug.He kept it aside and hugged her.Then he slowly looked at her.Her eyes were closed.
She didn't say anything.He closed his eyes too and neared with the feeling of the heat emanating from her cheeks.His lips met hers and she didn't struggled to go away.Sinking as if into the unknown crevices of which ends were unknown.He tasted the creamy bitter-sweet flavor of the coffee mingled with butterscotch balm she had applied.She could taste the coffee on him.Her hands moved carelessly over him.She couldn't believe what she was doing neither did he know what was happening.Penetrating through and through into each others breathe they could hear each others heartbeat.She was feeling like ice,which was melting with every touch of his.She didn't know to loose control or retreat back.Retreating back wasn't a option it seemed and she gave in with hearty pleasure.
She parted her lips,he looked at those eyes they were still close.Both shed off their inhibitions.They weren't ashamed of finding each other laced in arms bare and being each others cover.Embrace had its whole new meaning redefined for him and her as well.He pulled the blanket over climbing on top of her.He kissed her cheeks,neck,belly and she was let into a delusional world.She was moaning softly and let out Devoid of breath Paarth..
He instantly felt her need rushing towards her lips.His light stubble scratching her soft skin and teasing them with consequent goosebumps as sign.They just couldn't resist the force binding them.He was kissing her so intense while hands working on her arms and shoulders.She was holding onto his hair so tight.Feeling each other as they traversed ages into each other.Their hunger devouring each other accompanied with ferocious growls and bites.She sighed all the more..she was not able to distinguish anything as she felt it like as if in a dream in her reality.They synced and merged with each other becoming one.Holding onto each other tightly,her nail scratched his back and his teeth engraved on her shoulders.A calm took over all of a sudden a rush of pulse and at the same time stop of breath.They fell into a deep trance.The pain mingling with joy.She felt it moving.He identified giving away himself to her.The ephemeral moment etched in deep silence.They slept facing each other sideways hugging each other as to never let go.He bit her ears playfully,she giggled.He then whispered in her ears did you want it?
She opened her eyes looking at his face.His eyes were closed now,she caressed his hairs and she saw tears trickling from the corners of his eyes.She smiled and kissed him everywhere.Then replied him i know this is what we had wanted for so long.She held his hands tightly,putting her face in his chest.He hugged her in that urgency.
They remained that way for way too long.
Seemingly never returning back from their trance...

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Tonight:Sleep with you!

Image courtesy
I looked through the window.And he smiled looking at me.Showered me with his pale milky light,promising me to cradle me in his arms with a subtle sleep tonight.I kissed him and he caressed my forehead.He walked near me accompanied by his beloved adornment the night.Moved a flick of hair to see my closed eyes with the help of his dear friend gentle breeze.I finally had a smile on my face after a long tiring day.To sleep with my moon tonight,i lay bare covered by him today! 

Saturday, May 19, 2012

The scent..

A fragrance wafted in the air.I thought i knew it as i was nodding my head with the beats of the song playing on my i-pod.And as i reeled through each song i could find some bits of memories from my life matching with the wordings of the song.Sure thing happens with most of us.So back to the fragrance.I knew that i have felt it before somewhere but where that was the question.
I looked out of my room struggling out of the warm blanket wrapped around me.There was utter darkness and pin drop silence.Then with utmost precision i opened the creaking window.With full care so that it doesn't wakes anyone else.
I looked outside and there was no one but i could feel the scented air.The diffusion had been slow as the scent came in small bits after every absorbing moment.
I got up and went outside.The night looked more beautiful when you can feel it engulfing you.And that is exactly what i felt,one with dark and silence.
I moved through the wet grasses bare foot,as my anklets jingled happily.There was no tree around our house and nor could anyone find a house to call neighbor before walking 3 kms.
I moved on watching the fireflies flying in the tall grasses.The owls eyes shining perched upon a distant tree.The stars were gazing me and moon was lighting my path.I could feel myself going closer to the scent.And there I saw it.The one fragrance that made me way happy.
As i could feel the winter chills advancing with each passing day.And so i realized it's time for it.The circle of white bunches of pretty flowers scattered underneath the tree.It was the saptaparni(Indian Devil tree).
I lied over there covered in night's beauty.Melancholic calling of the owl in my ears.Accompanied with the heavenly scent of the flowers.And i wasn't aware for how long i stayed that way.Only realizing with the first dew drop falling on me that it's time for the sun to shine and fragrance to fade away with light.

Image Courtesy-Alstonia Scholaris i)The tree's Image had been edited with effects which were not in the original image.

Monday, May 14, 2012


Life is full of it.Whenever you think you have got an answer you would be somehow bent to think of the other side or possibility.I have met two people recently whom i found so damn contradicting that i could not stop myself from writing this.

First situation
A girl of 20 years,wants love from someone.At times she thinks that he loves her and some times she can't help but make out other possibilities such as a no.
She -I don't know how i should ask him this but i know he loves me.He says so many things which point to it.
I -Good.Then you should ask him sometime soon.

Some other day with a bad mood how she talks about the same subject
She -He does not care for whatever i do he only talks to me when he needs me.I know i am no one in his life.
I -*Silence*
And then she goes on about the negative aspects...contradicting something she might have said some hours ago in the same day.
When a man cares for you out of his good mood take it as it comes,as you are actually being pampered.You don't know when and how the same mood slips and becomes something which makes you cry.And again keep the possibility in your mind that it is not necessary if a man cares for you that he loves you or if a man loves you he would care for you.At times certain love stories aren't the perfect fairy tale ones and neither are they as simple as a proposal given and accepted.When you can wait for your love with sure perseverance and patience then someday you might know the truth from the person(again keeping false hopes are subjected to your conditions) or you can not wait for an answer and move on with your life to find a partner who would propose you or accept your proposal.

Second situation
A guy of 21,does not quite believe in relationships.And has what you call a knack for friends with benefits.
He -There is something good about this girls.
I -And what is that?
He -All of them i had a relation like this are wonderful human beings.
I -What exactly does that mean?
He -I have a relation such as this when i know they have a nice heart.
I -What has heart to do with this kind of a relationship?

He says he can't afford to be in a relationship but yet whosoever he sleeps with or f***s wants that they have a nice heart.When you would f*** someone and move on what's the point that they have a nice heart or not after all you are engaging for pleasure(read lust) and not love.

And last but not the least.I have known this person for quite sometime.
Third situation
A guy in his late 20's.Is high on life,happy go lucky and knows how to enjoy life.He likes what is known as change.He believes in the quote 'Only change is constant.'
In a conversation
I -Is change that necessary?
He -It's the rule of life.You cannot avoid it so better be with it than against it.

A conversation with him some other time
I -If you love someone won't you say it to her?
He -I don't know.
I -That is not an answer explain me why wont you say it to her?
He -I think once i commit in a relationship i would have a big change.

Now what more could i have said about it to him.He likes changes and accepts them but then why can't he accept one in the sphere of love?Afraid that it is big eh?
Which WAY do you want to go?
Even head is yours and tail is yours.Then what's the meaning of tossing around.

Sunday, May 06, 2012

Why can't we live?

Everything we do everyday bears a mark of us sometimes considered and sometimes ignored.We preach,eat,dance,laugh,cry,rant,complain,blabber,make love,flirt...so on and so forth.When our expectations are hurt or we are crippled advancing through a situation we fall in a chain of misery.Down the hollow sphere of hopeless and mindless criticism and useless advises(which would hardly be practical).
Have you ever felt blotted with lots of things?Felt like slammed right down that it shook you down the spine so bad that you can see the powdered bone but missed the cracking pain of it.
Why does it happens that whatever we do should be according to a question,accusation,reason or condition.Life of people living on planet "EARTH" Has gone utterly hay-wired and crazy.Earlier things were easier and simple.There was no door,no handle,no luxurious houses/bungalows,no fancy clothes..yeah i am talking about early humans.But then came inventions and ideas to make life simpler as they say.But the only view i am able to perceive is total complexity.All the things that were simple and easy are made hard and complex then exclaiming questions and decoding it back to simple.
It is all according to the sociological rule that what had started once long back is going to go through several changes making it different from the starting point and then it would be back to square one.
All this goes fine but why have people lost the very essence of living life.We are pushed beyond our stamina for a day(saying as matter of fact),join the race,get pushed around and go back home feeling tired so much so that we don't know what we are saying.Situations are controlling us and we are total slaves with a priority list hanging in front of our eyes(irrelevant of the fact that we are awake or sleeping) and the things we did earlier must have been a natural automatic impulse without the need of a list.Conditions are ruling us everywhere.Whatever sanity is left is with the new born month old babies.I don't even count the kids of age 3-9 years as innocent and untouched of worlds rule cause they are pacing ahead with knowledge more than necessary and inviting all the tensions much earlier than needed.
Is it really that difficult to switch off that laptop or mobile you are carrying on the weekends or perhaps say holidays to roam around and meet family or friends.No i have a better option let's do the interaction on skype.Technology has crippled us damn bad.I remember once being with my uncle in states and in his car was installed GPS which helped navigating the route anywhere but it came with a condition(it follows everywhere) that wherever the satellite had low signal or the weather wasn't fine it stopped giving you a way.And he felt like stranded on an island cause he had lost all his memory of directions of places once the GPS had been installed.
We build something to relieve our labor but what about the labor being put to planning it and making it which does not leave you with any strength to actually enjoy what is created.
We can go on and on about this like forever.So i would only say it's fun once in a while when you don't have a boss over your head or conditions weighing you down or a deadline or a project or a plan to advance.Enjoy the days cause there may come a day when weekends or holidays become history and Homo sapiens get a new name such as Robo sapiens.
Lets live!