To the..

To the sweet good morning kisses and fiery nights.

Smelling the red wine in your muffled breathe while i lick your lips in anticipation. The red hot rods glaring at me from behind you as it cools our naked bodies in the winter.

All of a sudden its too hot in winters. When we are embraced in each others arms, my face reaches your armpit to snuggle and smell the sweat. Its sweaty and when i lick it, it tastes of ocean but i still love the way it feels, it arouses me.

Reaching up to your face i feel the prickly two day beard you have scrubbing my face, it burns so i move to capture your sweet and plump lips in mine. The smell of the garlics from the pesto spaghetti we had. Its mild and indulgent, almost makes me want to fill your mouth with some more of spaghetti and be fed from you.

Going to more intimate regions i smell the hunger emanating for her. So i lick and suck the sensitive zones which makes you hiss and moan. Caressing the bearings under them i plan to throw you in frenzy. Want to make you want me more.

When you caress my back with your hand, resting to pick and squeeze a bone you find. Crossing my hands behind my back just to see the protruding bones you picked on a while ago. I hiss and tell you to stop. You shower me with kisses.

"I imagined you in that short dress, how sexy you looked"  you say. I smile like i can see what you imagined. You curl a little more harder around me as if the imagination just turned real.
Your face, the marks and memory etched on them. I touch them and ask you the stories. Listening to them i am transported to that time where i can see as you go on unaware of the future, of the future where you would tell me all about it.

Barging into the room, you are singing same line of the song again and again in a cheerful and ecstatic tone. You have come back early from work you announce. I look at the smile on your face, it seems to be spreading all over you.

"When will you come back?" i ask and that is enough to make you distraught and cold. I want to take my words back because i feel like i committed a crime too grave. But its too late and your tone is condescending and behaviour is stolid while you give an answer appropriate in your mind for a crime like that.

The things are thrown around everywhere in that one room we are present. It's all too messy. I am careless and clumsy. Breaking a glass, the china bowl or that coveted bottle for storing water. I make a mess everywhere i go.

Simmering the milk on low i want to cook that sweet dish with dry fruits and tapioca pearls, after all you haven't eaten all day and kept fast. Just the way you like it, with no sugar and thickened milk.

"There are other things besides food and sleep, why don't you explore it?" you ask. "I do want to do that" i reply back. Not too convinced with my reply you glare at the mundane and monotonous way your life seems. I become a burden to you with my affirmation, making you realise how i am fine with just the way the things are.

I am a liar and a procrastinator. But i am also a lover and child at heart still making  out the head and tail of life. I want fairy lights, dreamcatchers, wind chimes, random and obscured photo of ours hanging from the rope pinned with a clip, bed made of wood crates, three sides of wall painted with white colour and one side painted pitch black, i want to lie on the cold ground with you in summer nights sharing a glass of chilled cocktail and watch the night turn into morning. But i have habits and expectations which dull all that i want. 

And all remains but nothing.

Wounded Past

For the things you do and don’t do, there maybe a reason or two or maybe none. You just do something as if an invisible hand just made you do it. When we are done we realize it through the after effects.

A friend of mine pretty boastful said she doesn’t need someone in her life to be alive. The concept of talking everyday with boy-friend is something which isn’t possible in reality she said. The girl and the guy both need space in their life. 

These were her thoughts when she first talked about love, girlfriend and boyfriend. She said once she had a boyfriend and that was it. She likes her current state of singlehood.

I didn’t probe her to give more and neither did she willingly disclose anymore information.

This was the story of the second day of us being acquainted with each other. We were walking back home together as we lived nearby. I bid her a goodbye and left on one of the ways in the fork.

She talked way too much for my liking. I met her almost everyday but somehow I got used to with her chatter, after sometime her talking didn’t bother me so much. She got really close to me. She shared things and a secret or two.

One fine day I got a little bit more of her previous love story. But I knew that was not all.

She has become committed once more and this time it was her best friend. They knew each other but understanding seemed a whole different ball game in their relation.

She wants to talk to him everyday. Her changed sentence was that she cannot live without him in her life. When she is not able to talk to him even a day, she becomes very anxious.

I see her and think that what is affecting her this much. Her face is completely pale and it seems she hasn’t slept all week. She tells me they are not able to talk.

I think there is something more but then again maybe I am reading in too much.

Today it happened so that I wasn’t wrong after all. It was her previous relation which affected her today so much. She told me she wants to be informed that someone is going out of her life.

I ask her the reason of breakup in her previous relation.

Her answer was 

“He never told me, he just went away. He did not respond to my message and did not talk to me. He just left.”

The guy is precious in her life, her current relation is her heart. She doesn’t want to loose the guy. She doesn’t want to be hanging and left without any reason.

Each day that she can’t talk with him, she thinks maybe he is on the way to leave her. She says maybe he deserves much better than her.

I tried to console her with words and told her that nothing of that sort will happen. That maybe the previous breakup had something good for future. But she is shaken too deep. Her wound is yet not healed. I hope she gets over someone who did not deserve her. I hope he heals her past.

Image courtesy

Undefined bond..

It was rather a tiresome day and she wasn't finding solace in whatever she did.As soon as she changed her clothes and kept her head on the pillow to sleep, her cell vibrated.Wondering who could be calling her this late she just picked it up without even seeing the number she said Hello.No response from the other side strange so she looks at the number.A deep surprise plus shock wave hits her its him its him her mind screams and her heart is doing somersaults.

Hey say something

I did say.I said hello

He started laughing

She couldn't suppress her but she chose it to be mute and didn't show him.

He exclaimed What happened was it too bad that you are so silent?

I just don't know.I mean finally you remember to call me after telling me five days back that you would ring me up in ten minutes.Does my watch work too fast or yours is too slow?

Oh! I said that i would call?Is it?

Yes Mr. you said so and you didn't.That's why the silence wasn't fun and your laughter not infectious.

Hmm..Ok tell me what would make you laugh?

You figure that out.Do some work you lazy bum.

Hahahaha..How would a hug work for you?

Don't say or ask.Just try!

Tell me where do i have to meet you?

What?

Where and when do you want to meet me?

How can you be so nice I mean how did you figure out i wanted you to meet me?

See that smile playing on your lips.

Okay okay i give up I am smiling but you have to meet okay?

Of course idiot i would meet you and so i said where do you wanna meet me.

Okay tomorrow we both take day off from whatever we are doing and meet up some place then decide what we are going to do.

Alright!Meet me at the same station at 9 in the morning.

Done! Okay talk to you later.Now i am so damn tired and sleepy though didn't want to say so but now that we are meeting it seems alright to say so.

Okay.Take care and keep smiling.

I love you.You keep smiling too.See you.

See you.

All smiles she was and sleeping meant direct getaway to heaven and letting out plans of what to do with him tomorrow.In the morning she woke up rather early.It was 5 on the clock and she said to herself good for me, would do everything taking lots of time.Her favorite red color kurti and the black jeans. Accessorizing herself with a silver bracelet,a fragile looking chain with a butterfly pendant and those oxidizers which he had gifted him.She applied kohl to her eyes,mascaras on her eyelashes,a sweet light pink lipstick and a silver bindi complementing her whole attire.

She glanced at the watch it was 8:30 am.She exclaimed perfect timing now i'll be there just in half an hour.Jingling her house keys she reached the station in an hour and messaged him

Where are you?

After ten minutes her cell beeped Look around and find me :)

Don't fool around.Tell me where are you?

I can see you miss red and black ;)

Hey..that means you are around somewhere but where?

That is what you are going to find out :D

Caught you B)

So come near me

Stupid stop messaging i am in front of you

First you.

She spoke ok now stop.They both giggled like a fresh,new,happy couple.What the others didn't know was that they were not actually couples and that they have known each other for very longtime.

Do you have water?

Yes! For you my eminence.Here! All yours.

Hahaha..I knew you would have water.

Yes i bring it for you every time.

He looked at her all the while he was drinking water.His mind jolting into thousand of flashes.He had imagined more than a day with her in those few seconds.She could sense he was going somewhere else through her eyes.She smiled and asked so what next?

You tell me.You have anything in your mind?

Yes i do.How about we hit either your place or mine.

A naughty laugh lingered on both of their faces and he held her hand without saying anything and she let him take her wherever he wanted to.She had full trust on him and that she could never have on anyone else ever.He bought the tickets.Handed her one and took one for self.They entered the train.It was jam-packed and he held onto her hands tightly and she hugged him tightly.It took them one hour to reach the destination.And as she stepped out of the train she knew where were they heading to.They finally reached his place after fifteen minutes.He opened the lock and they both entered.She sat on the sofa and said Aaann..advancement you got a sofa.

Just for you madame(he said smiling gingerly)

She laughed and asked him what he was upto.He came after a some minutes and said hop on the bed.He had a coffee mug in his hand and as soon as she was called she hopped on the bed.He said sip it,she looked at him surprised.He pushed it towards her and then letting the brim in contact with her lips.She sipped and then he sipped from the same mug.He kept it aside and hugged her.Then he slowly looked at her.Her eyes were closed.

Rudhira?

She didn't say anything.He closed his eyes too and neared with the feeling of the heat emanating from her cheeks.His lips met hers and she didn't struggled to go away.Sinking as if into the unknown crevices of which ends were unknown.He tasted the creamy bitter-sweet flavor of the coffee mingled with butterscotch balm she had applied.She could taste the coffee on him.Her hands moved carelessly over him.She couldn't believe what she was doing neither did he know what was happening.Penetrating through and through into each others breathe they could hear each others heartbeat.She was feeling like ice,which was melting with every touch of his.She didn't know to loose control or retreat back.Retreating back wasn't a option it seemed and she gave in with hearty pleasure.

She parted her lips,he looked at those eyes they were still close.Both shed off their inhibitions.They weren't ashamed of finding each other laced in arms bare and being each others cover.Embrace had its whole new meaning redefined for him and her as well.He pulled the blanket over climbing on top of her.He kissed her cheeks,neck,belly and she was let into a delusional world.She was moaning softly and let out Devoid of breath Paarth..

He instantly felt her need rushing towards her lips.His light stubble scratching her soft skin and teasing them with consequent goosebumps as sign.They just couldn't resist the force binding them.He was kissing her so intense while hands working on her arms and shoulders.She was holding onto his hair so tight.Feeling each other as they traversed ages into each other.Their hunger devouring each other accompanied with ferocious growls and bites.She sighed all the more..she was not able to distinguish anything as she felt it like as if in a dream in her reality.They synced and merged with each other becoming one.Holding onto each other tightly,her nail scratched his back and his teeth engraved on her shoulders.A calm took over all of a sudden a rush of pulse and at the same time stop of breath.They fell into a deep trance.The pain mingling with joy.She felt it moving.He identified giving away himself to her.The ephemeral moment etched in deep silence.They slept facing each other sideways hugging each other as to never let go.He bit her ears playfully,she giggled.He then whispered in her ears did you want it?

She opened her eyes looking at his face.His eyes were closed now,she caressed his hairs and she saw tears trickling from the corners of his eyes.She smiled and kissed him everywhere.Then replied him i know this is what we had wanted for so long.She held his hands tightly,putting her face in his chest.He hugged her in that urgency.

They remained that way for way too long.

Seemingly never returning back from their trance...

Irony!

Life is full of it.Whenever you think you have got an answer you would be somehow bent to think of the other side or possibility.I have met two people recently whom i found so damn contradicting that i could not stop myself from writing this.

First situation

A girl of 20 years,wants love from someone.At times she thinks that he loves her and some times she can't help but make out other possibilities such as a no.

She -I don't know how i should ask him this but i know he loves me.He says so many things which point to it.

I -Good.Then you should ask him sometime soon.

Some other day with a bad mood how she talks about the same subject

She -He does not care for whatever i do he only talks to me when he needs me.I know i am no one in his life.

I -*Silence*

And then she goes on about the negative aspects...contradicting something she might have said some hours ago in the same day.

When a man cares for you out of his good mood take it as it comes,as you are actually being pampered.You don't know when and how the same mood slips and becomes something which makes you cry.And again keep the possibility in your mind that it is not necessary if a man cares for you that he loves you or if a man loves you he would care for you.At times certain love stories aren't the perfect fairy tale ones and neither are they as simple as a proposal given and accepted.When you can wait for your love with sure perseverance and patience then someday you might know the truth from the person(again keeping false hopes are subjected to your conditions) or you can not wait for an answer and move on with your life to find a partner who would propose you or accept your proposal.

Second situation

A guy of 21,does not quite believe in relationships.And has what you call a knack for friends with benefits.

He -There is something good about this girls.

I -And what is that?

He -All of them i had a relation like this are wonderful human beings.

I -What exactly does that mean?

He -I have a relation such as this when i know they have a nice heart.

I -What has heart to do with this kind of a relationship?

He says he can't afford to be in a relationship but yet whosoever he sleeps with or f***s wants that they have a nice heart.When you would f*** someone and move on what's the point that they have a nice heart or not after all you are engaging for pleasure(read lust) and not love.

And last but not the least.I have known this person for quite sometime.

Third situation

A guy in his late 20's.Is high on life,happy go lucky and knows how to enjoy life.He likes what is known as change.He believes in the quote 'Only change is constant.'

In a conversation

I -Is change that necessary?

He -It's the rule of life.You cannot avoid it so better be with it than against it.

A conversation with him some other time

I -If you love someone won't you say it to her?

He -I don't know.

I -That is not an answer explain me why wont you say it to her?

He -I think once i commit in a relationship i would have a big change.

Now what more could i have said about it to him.He likes changes and accepts them but then why can't he accept one in the sphere of love?Afraid that it is big eh?

Which WAY do you want to go?
Even head is yours and tail is yours.Then what's the meaning of tossing around.

Evangeline and Clara (Riddle talk)-II

Clara-Hey Evangeline why you seem so low today?

Evangeline-(putting up a fake smile)no Clara i ain't low 

Clara-Oh key..So what riddle have you got for me today?

Evangeline-You certainly seem interested the first time in listening to my riddle.And wow you initiating on asking it to you.

Clara-Yeah see i close down my lappy and looking at you with full concentration and gonna hear you with full attention 

Evangeline-Hmm..Light moment with a heavy thrust.

Clara-It seems so vague,anything can be like it.

Evangeline-(now smiling actually) My riddles are always like em' sweety 

Clara-  Yeah how true you are Evangeline.

Evangeline-Can't you ever be sprightly enjoyable for more than five minutes Clara 

Clara- what do you mean to say?

Evangeline-Huh! Try to enjoy life Clara darling. Why do you think that if you enjoy a bit your position will fall down?

Clara-You know..Go bring me the cup of coffee on that table..

(Evangeline walks up to the table inches away and brings back the cup for Clara.)

Clara-So yeah continue with your mind bender miss 

Evangeline-Brings sorrow and astonishment.

Clara-Many things but your riddle how would i know 

Evangeline-So nicely exemplifies Newton's third law of motion(and she thinks in her mind "in my case only").

Clara-Oh yeah i get it (glowing with utmost joy as she thinks this is going to be the first time that she is going to be correct).It is recoiling of a gun.Isn't it? 

Evangeline-Oh no.Come on Clara 

Clara-What? We have studied it so many times in the example of newton's third law of motion i still remember.Don't you Evangeline.Oh i pity you 

Evangeline- No Clara you shouldn't be thinking up of giving an answer but thinking of the answer in your mind only 

Clara-Oh key i give up.Tell me now what is it?

Evangeline-You remember i told you about my boyfriend..

Clara-Oh no.Not again Evangeline.

Evangeline-(again with a broken in the middle expression)No,no It's different today.You know i had a tiff with my boyfriend this time and he was arguing on a very trivial thing and i got infuriated and i slapped him.

Clara-Ohhhhhhhh.... 

Evangeline-Now shut your big mouth  .Now i am feeling so guilty as he might have felt pain at that time.See isn't it a example of newton's third law of motion?

Clara-Oh my god Evangeline.So now what are you going to do to make him happy again?

Evangeline-I'll meet him this evening again at his place this time and not on any street.And tell him how sorry am i about yesterday and then i'll treat him with his favorite Black forest chocolate cake.Don't you think sweet will work up for my stupid act?

Clara-Oh surely with that angelic smile and sweet cake..he is surely going to forgive you.Now let's get back to work sweety.

And the same monotonous day continues in Clara's life and she with her skilled hands at typing..goes on with might typing some important details to a event.Evangeline gives her a pity look one more time and brings a smile back on her face to make up for yesterday evenings mistake,today evening.

As Evangeline shifts her gaze back to her laptop screen,Clara looks from the corner of her eye and gives in a wicked smile thinking that she has been able to dodge again the same question from Evangeline the countless number of time ...and it still rings in her mind back every time she finishes a riddle talk with Evangeline Why do you think that if you enjoy a bit your position will fall down?

Evangeline and Clara (Riddle talk)-I

Evangeline-Oh..Clara it was heaven you know!

Clara-How would i know?

Evangeline-So true.How would you know that 

Clara-Now tell me what you mean to say.You always have riddles for me.And that too amazes me from your practical life.Do you have time for all this after working so long.Don't you relax?

Evangeline-Hmm....Poor soul of yours, you only work,go home and then relax a bit then the other day same boring routine.Don't you feel you are no more than a machine? 

Clara-No absolutely not.I have grown up building up plans for my future and to make them successful i worked hard and now i have achieved this level of being an entrepreneur.I don't want to drop down from this level by giving thought to some other things in life.

Evangeline-Oh my dear how wrong is your thinking.Everything in life should be done with a proportion.Why do you think that if you enjoy a bit your position will fall down?

Clara-You know..Go bring me the cup of coffee on that table..

(Evangeline walks up to the table inches away and brings back the cup for Clara.)

Clara-Yeah..so what was your riddle.I ought to hear it otherwise my food will not get digested today 

Evangeline-Soft and delicate..consuming and sealing..Merging of breath and collides of feeling. 

Clara-Oh so silly..I haven't had such a encounter ever with anything.But you seem to be a all girl who has had all kinds of feeling so i would like to hear it from you.But well i can try with one more hint.

Evangeline-Okk..Though i feel you are not upto the mark for this question .

Clara-What do you mean to say ?

Evangeline-See this riddle is getting on your nerves 

Clara(composing herself again)-Heyy..no.Ok fine now stop igniting the flame so high.

Evangeline-Ok so your last and most close clue is...pursing two cups, flaming the desires,stoking fuel to recharge the battery of life.  

Clara-Ohh bull****.Stop Evangeline it really is getting on my nerves.Now tell me.

Evangeline-I told you about my boy-friend last week(lighting up with enthusiastic zeal).Yesterday we met again and we had a kiss on the Adam street of London.Where the roads were block and the snow flakes were touching each spiny leaf of the tree with utmost sophistication...

(breaking the flow of her thought in between Clara says..)

Clara-Evangeline will you ever come back to the realities of life?

Evangeline-(With a broken in middle expression.)Clara these talks are not for you.But i still take up an initiative to light the fused bulb in your boring life.But never mind will try it the next day i pose you one more riddle .

Clara-  Let's get back to work sweety.

And the same monotonous day continues in Clara's life and she with her skilled hands at typing..goes on with might typing some important details to a event.Evangeline gives her a pity look one more time and brings a smile back on her face to enjoy another Live event this evening.

As Evangeline shifts her gaze back to her laptop screen,Clara looks from the corner of her eye and gives in a wicked smile thinking that she has been able to dodge again the same question from Evangeline the countless number of time ...and it still rings in her mind back every time she finishes a riddle talk with Evangeline Why do you think that if you enjoy a bit your position will fall down?