The flickering lights fall on my face. What else did I expect?
It is blinding and chilling, sitting on these bar stools. I absolutely hate these stools, I long for a comfortable couch but I wont opt for that. Yes, seems like I have finally let go last shred of sanity.
I want it and I have it right in front of my eyes but those couches hold memory. It has been 3 months since he has left for work and I am pining badly for him right now. No calls are returned till the weekends and no mushy talks follow if I get through to him on weekdays. It is Saturday, at least today I can hope for that long late night talk.
Destination needs to be changed he said
I beamed a happy smile mirroring his. He hugged me and told me how my smile was what he was waiting for. Why I had asked him and being the ever so sweet guy he is, he told me it was like a confirmation and seal to the ticket of the new work place.
I cant leave this place because I have restrictions. Yes I know I can break through and all but well even I have needs here. But I need him too.
See I am totally positive that I am nuts.
Long distance is a pain in the a** but well I know that when we finally do meet it will be so good. I will see that happy smile of his, snuggle in his arms and take in the tantalizing scent of his cologne.
I stand up paying for the tequila shots. The alcohol has finally kicked in the nervous system. I feel a little tipsy but nothing that I cant handle. I hold the shrug closer to myself, self hugging if I may say. Exiting the bar I walk down towards our empty home.
Keeping the keys on the drawer I eagerly move towards the phone I had intentionally left on the bed.
11 missed calls
My heart flutters with joy, the calls are his and the messages are random. Removing the heels, I grab my phone. I slide to camera mode and click a picture of myself in the blue little dress he had gifted me on our last marriage anniversary. Sharing it to him through messages I fall back on the bed.
The phone rings and I fall into the velvety cloud his voice weaves, the longing disappears momentarily. My easy tone guides him to my state and he plays with my imagination till he comes back for real to hold his sweetheart.