"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Saturday, October 05, 2013

Cause it is hurting..

It is a sudden urge arising inside you when you have not been given something. Something that the other person said you would be given but are not given and you have this ever growing fragile hope which grows strong with every passing second and after one fine moment you realize it was but said in the spur of the moment and you were stupid enough to believe it as a silent promise of there will be something more. Something more which the other person is not capable of giving to you.The stock to which has already been utilized and given to someone else.So there is no hope none at all for you.
And there is this  sudden urge to destroy everything around and within you. Every type of emotion clinging to you making you feel dizzy with the copious amount of dosage.Within is not a place easy to be reached so you focus on your surroundings for destrcution.
Removing everything good you liked or erasing things which you know deep down are so close to you. You just make them die cause you can’t bear to see them. You wait helplessly to let that urge and that awful feeling to subside. Sleep which was so easy some moments back becomes a hard task. Tossing and turning in bed and consoling yourself with stupid excuses and reasons. A step to destroy everything good and nice cause hope is a bad thing. It hurts you more than soothing. What is the point of expecting something which won’t ever happen? Submerging yourself in something whose future is already known to you to be painful? 
Seeking something from hollownes..you can dive inside a well which is fathoms deep and doesn't provide you with a ground to have a final fall.You will fly around in the darkness with a sight that is lost,will that is crumbled,efforts that are ruined and tears which are unshed.

And you murmur to yourself incessantly, waiting for the due sleep which would eventually come to you when it is already time to get up….to fall once again..

This black is making me think
painting my world and covering the colorful tints.

1 comment:

Lubaina E. said...

Made me cringe, a bit.
But, the way it is written is powerful.

Specially the last line, "This black is making me think
painting my world and covering the colorful tints."