"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Sunday, July 01, 2012

I am in Problem.

It is part of life.Everyone have them.You know problems.The difference is how you deal with it.Some people like to run away from them,some try solve it,leaving it in midway cause simply they are done with trying and the last category of people holds the one who find the cure,apply it and come out victorious with a solution.I have and am experienced/experiencing all the three phases.

It infuriates people close to me to make me see applying the first way.But i don't know how do i become so helpless that i end up doing nothing other than going away from the problem.Thinking that it is a bad dream and when i wake up it will vanish.And they don't put themselves in my shoes and analyse the situation rather they just tell me what they feel is right according to their view point.
Some people love to preach and they would say things which for themselves are idealistic and they don't follow but they give you the idealistic thoughts in free-fund.I at times pity these people and at times am cross with them.You cannot help it,more than half the population has this very dangerous disease of giving unwanted advice,thoughts and words.

The second way out is the one where in the beginning you are determined that no matter what i am gonna find the solution and be done with the problem as soon as possible.But when you find out it is hard in actions than from the thoughts and words.You back off and fall back into the first category itself.I do this seldom and then realize what a big coward i am.

The third way is very hard and which i suppose goes well with the poem "The road not taken" if you don't know what i am talking about then have a look at the link hereThe Road Not Taken-Robert Frost.
When i follow this road and turn out victorious it feels good and life seems a bit little messed up from earlier.And it happens RARELY.

Now what made me pour these thoughts out here was that i kind of thought of talking to someone but felt they might be busy and i should not disturb them.So whenever they get time they will call but well.They called and we talked but could not cause there was chaos around.Deciding to talk later that day,i called but the scene was same and i was told that i would be contacted later.Now this later isn't coming and this is a problem to me and i am thinking as to call or let it be and wait for that person to remember that when chaos got over they had to call  ...No idea! I am a lost cause as of now and my friends call me that.I am so confused that i am not able to take any decisions but i have to no matter what.
I want to sort out the pros and cons with someone but there is no one around right now.Everyone is engaged in their life and bothered only about themselves.I am waiting for my number in their life(and wish that they give me a number soon because later on there might be nothing for them to help with,there is a duration of my current problems).I am very afraid of life ahead and i am sure about the fact that if at this point my decisions are wrong i stand nowhere later.
At this stage i can say that i am kind of hoping on hope.And i seriously wish some bad things are really bad dreams and will get over when i wake up from sleep the next day.I am badly in need of something to calm my heart,mind and soul.Plus this pathetic weather which is dull super hot is getting on my nerves!

From the last paragraph i can literally see myself venting out and i have done this first time on my blog 
Hope all you people having a nice life and if there are problems may they get solved as soon as possible 
Till then Hasta La Vista!


Crystal said...

Alcina, I'm really sorry to hear this. I wish I could say something to make you feel better or atleast help you out but I know that's not what you want to hear so I will respect your wishes because I too know what it's like to have everyone all on your case, they want to help you, tell you what to do. They want to fix you or help you to help yourself. This never set very well with me either and I ran away more times than I care to remember. I too was a coward. Perhaps I still am and I will understand if you decide to not post this comment, I just want you to know that I've been there.. and I understand. So if you ever want to email me my email address is csr23@att.net or you can hit me up on facebook. Even if you just need someone to listen. I didn't have that growing up. Just someone to listen to what I had to say without the fear of rejection or fear of being judged. Take care Alcina.

M in love said...

Well dear I have felt this number of times. Once you start going away from school, issues start building up and there is no one who is free to talk.. Its always as if you are waiting for an appointment!
Well no point in giving advice coz i m as miserable as you are in such cases :P I feel hurt that I m not given priority and then distances happen.. But then things do sort out..sometimes its just the timing na ?

Confused Soul said...

Well here's some muft ka advice..
People are often never gonna be there in times of problems.. reason 1- no one other than you and your family understand the weight of the situation.. reason 2-no one wants to take the blame if you go wrong..

There are still close pals who might lend you an ear and support you but eventually they are going to get tired of it.. It's your path so choose the way correctly. Don't be dependent, live independently.. Make mistakes but learn from them..

And hey don't be so stressed out..Everything will fall into place.. If ever you wanna talk, you can surely mail me! :)

Alcina said...

I can so very well feel the sincerity of your words crys dear.And i am obliged to read what you wrote.
And yes maybe you are right i need someone to listen to me.

Alcina said...

I am waiting for that time...fingers crossed.Mostly i am annoyed by the fact of not being able to take actions till provided with the oppurtunity.

Alcina said...

Well darling i havent welcomed the stress it has build and burdened on me though if i come to think of it i may be subconciously feeding it.
Close pals the term right now seems vague to me...cause i am in a situation where no one is bothered with the other but only and only considerate about themselves.
So you see i finally dawn with the realization as you were born alone and will die alone and i am not least bit ashamed of saying i am starting to despise the word "freindship"
it is just "selfish" the word that exists


Dear.... me too experienced this situation and yaa going through all these... sometimes we feel alone in the journey of life... no one to talk, no one to realise what our problems are and when we start talking to them they went on preaching and praising their life... it happens.... ya it is happening all around... just hope and prayers are with us... don't worry... everything will be alright soon...B optimistic datz wot i do.. tc... want to see back a smiling alci... :)

Cяystal said...

I've been in some deep shit myself. Some really deep shit. Here, there are people to comfort you when you err, I've been in a place where I was well, almost boycotted and trust me, the burden of problems is too heavy to carry, and its painful, so painful. I can't promise an immediate recovery, the healing or the struggle is always gradual. I still feel pieces of me healing. Some are still damaged beyond repair though.
Anyway, faith faith faith. Keep the faith ! *tight hug*

Green Speck said...

Problems are just the passage we need to go through so that we can grow stronger ... trust me, what you face now will seem like a tiny speck in future, when you will have to encounter bigger hurdles .... problems are needed at times ... and I sincereley wish you get out of it soon :-) All the best friend !!!

Lilangel said...

What is life without problems :) I am sure you will arise out of it glorious and wiser my friend ! Take no pain for someday it will be gone ! Hope things are better now girlie ! Hope you doing good ! Tc

La Dolce Vita said...

By the time I am writing this, I hope that you have come out of the chaos mentioned here.
To be frank, life is a series of problems , and sometimes, I feel that {as you have also said}-it is better to run from them and "focus" on something totally different.
The mind needs to shift. Above anything else, "peace of {your} mind" is the most important. If possible, keep a safe distance from certain negative people/problem creators.
By thinking constantly about these problems, you would not be able to find peace of mind.
Detach if possible.
Let others do what they want to. You do your own things.
Another thing: You cannot satisfy other people all the time. Some people are insensitive and demanding at the same time. So, better to detach and carry on with your own life. Be independent as far as possible.
Keep writing and keep blogging. Focus on your "work", your "creativity" , rather than "people". If possible. Problems will simply go away on their own when we focus more on ourselves and our creativity and less on relationships.

Mak said...

Well Alcina, good, bad or worse, this time will pass away. Gather courage to let this phase pass away dear