"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Friday, August 09, 2013

Pain. .

She mistook it all from the very beginning.From the very start the lies were packaged in a sweetness which left no room for doubt.Every emotion he had shown or expressed had all been so fake.Now she realized what a deep grave she had dug for herself.Always thinking that whatever good he had said was for her or every mood or moment he described was for her to know.He had just made use of her nicely without letting her know so.It  all had been good when she had no attachment but when someone tells you something lovable don’t you grow a heart for them,well that is what happened to her.In the twilight she looked at the infinite sky with galore of twinkling stars and the moon,thinking about him.
The foolish she was she did not know what had she bargained her life for.The mistake had been done,she had committed her whole life to him.Giving every ounce of herself to him just so that she could see him happy.It dawned but pretty late that all was about him,is about him and will always be about him.
A picture she had seen with him,long desired in her heart  to be true.A hugging picture of a couple,how she wanted it to be her and him.She learned the truth of the picture which left her shattered beyond reconstruction.It was not her that he had in his mind while he looked at the picture but the other girl.Her heart she thought was being twisted and turned from inside as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.She did not know to whom she could turn to or how she could just ask him once.The night sky blurred and she despised the stars and the moon.
All the moments were so hurtful to remember,every word he had said was hard to hold on to.The trust was crumbling slowly.But she did not concentrate on that.Still she was thinking of how she could take away his pain while laying there inside the ruffled sheets besides him.Tangled together yet so detached.She had meant to ask him last night about what was eating him away.Now she knew what was it.That other girl was on her mind and the rest of the puzzle she did not want to assemble them.As scenes from the last night replayed in front of her eyes.....
---
He had been like an animal ravaging each inch and square of her body.She begged him to stop but all in vain.Tonight the pleasure had long surpassed and their she could feel all the pain throbbing throughout her body.As he awoke from the wild trance he realized what he had done to her.Rushing down from the bed in his naked glory he moved past the French doors and out.Tears streamed down her eyes, she was confused.She had known him for quite a long-time this is not how he is she thought.There must be something bothering him to draw him to such limitlessness.
Looking outside the misted glasses,she could make out the firm lining of his back bathed in the moonlight.Gathering strength she stood up slowly from her stupor .Tracing the way he had followed to go outside in the balcony.Enclosing her arms around him from the back,carefully resting her face on his shoulders.As the moist drops touched his back,he flinched.
Removing her arms from around him he turned back,cupping her face in his hands.She gazed at those long artistic fingers,as if all forgotten that had happened some moments ago. He moved her face to look at him.As she looked in his eyes,she could see them pleading  but for what she was clueless.And then she heard his soulful voice,softly nudging her insides as he said “how could you be still here comforting me?”
She gave her broken but yet serene smile bringing her one hand on his face and the other in his hair.After what seemed like eons she hushed “What is hurting you so bad?”
This one question had such an impact on him as he grabbed hold of her waist burying his face in the crook of her neck.Tiny sobs and sniffles accompanying a muffled voice.She held him tight with one hand and the other one caressing his hair.She was hurting physically but hearing him cry like this made her heart break even more.She desperately wanted to take that thing away which made him break so bad.
After quite a lot of time had passed he raised his head still holding her looking into her eyes with his bloodshot eyes.She ushered him inside the room .Lying down slowly on the bed she let him hold her,caressing him,kissing him all over his face and gently humming his favourite songs to him.His eyes were drooping as he held her face in them and finally surrendered to his sleep.Carefully cocooning him she closed her eyes as well,sleeping to have her answers in the morning.
*****


10 comments:

Ecstasy said...

A great write up :)
Love your blog :D

PurpleMist. said...

This is so beautifully written :)
You should divide the paragraphs more though because it's hard to read such huge paragraphs with no breaks.

Lubaina E. said...

This as a very complex yet serene aura to it.
I like your blog.
And, you got yourself a new follower :D

S said...

Can feel the pain of the girl. you have expressed all her hidden emotions so well. I am also thinking that the girl is hurt yet, she can hold on inside so much and also give love in return of hate...such a strong character..
take care,

shonazee said...

Honestly , i am not a fan of long posts , i am a very lazy reader but this post of yours completely captivated me , i was just hooked on to it till the very end , every single detail written with perfection , i could visualize it like it was playing infront of me . The pain , hurt , anguish , betrayal i could actually feel them . I am really glad i bumped into this blog . Amaazing work , keep writing , u've earned urself a new follower :)
http://shonazee.blogspot.in/

Alcina said...

@Ecstacy
Thank you dear.Hope to recieve yours over here as well :)

Alcina said...

@PurpleMist.
Thank you.Advise taken and implemented.
Keep chiming!!

Alcina said...

@Lubaina E.
Thank you for taking the time to read :) and relishing.
Happy for the new follower.
Hope you had a happy visit over here..
Keep chiming!!

Alcina said...

@S
You totally absorbed it :) and said everything rightfully.Thank you so much.

Alcina said...

@shonazee
You just made my day dear girl.Lovely to have a follower like you.I hope the patience doesn't wither down ;)
Take care
keep smiling always!!