"The hardest of all is learning to be a well of affection,and not fountain,to show them that we love them,not when we feel like it,but when they do"

Sunday, June 05, 2011

To m/e - II

First drops touched my face and it was almost a bliss.I didn't have the slightest knowledge of the upcoming rain.Coming back to home from somewhere and carrying a satchel which i felt for sometime as burden was relived by those instant cooling drops.Flames of the satchels had been bored deep down on me.Satchel was it really like the literal one.I guess no,it was something else.While passing by the lake i thought about the numerous people that have come into my life and will keep coming till i live.All couldn't be mine and neither i wanted them all to be mine.I never wanted anyone to be to me but it just happened and it keeps happening the necklace of my neck keeps on adding a bead or two once in a while to itself.Not that i have completed my necklace its hard to say so cause till now it just has minimal beads.Well i am sufficed with those minimal beads yet i feel the beads haven't rolled in well into the necklace yet and they might fall from the edge or the bead that has enter may crawl to the extreme open end fall down.I may or may not be able to catch it and only memory of that bead will remain with me.
Catastrophic sublimations,freezing and burning leads to the shaping and duration of the beads of my necklace.
There i stood staring inside the lake,all of the surrounding had turned dark but i didn't fear it as if it was one with me crying my tears of agony and sometimes so splashes of happy moments.It was all so confusing one moment i smiled to myself with the image i painted in my mind and the very next moment my lips turned into a sad curve of anxiety and longing.The path it divided into two and i submerged into oblivion waiting to choose one of them.I had to create my own path and i couldn't choose anyone of them,it was hard i said.I was going through trials and tribulations and i no more wanted it to be so and if it had to be pain let it be created by me only.
The infinity of that dark water which was some moments back all crystal blue astonished me.Yes the parts of it were true to us.Once it was all clear to be stared deep down and the next moment it was all so dark that one could not estimate an end if any.Life offers us such situations sometimes it feels like we are blindfolded and initiating on a journey we don't know what will come out of it or sometimes just being totally affirmative of the outcome.
I don't like plans and i don't know how to plan the only thing that i hold in my mind is some piece of m/e.That m/e knows that i crave for it,cry for it,get hurt by it,get happy by it,love it,adore it and can be never separated from it.But it still doesn't answers the existence of m/e doubting m/e sometimes and sometimes just wanting to believe in the truth of it(which is just for that moment and turns into a lie after that moment according to m/e).
Every cell and every drop of blood that surrounds and creates m/e is not important.It is the quintessence that flows through whole being of m/e and helps it to diverge and convulse into the mystic aura of undecided realms .
I dream of m/e every night does its whispers know that?does its kisses know that?does its caresses know that?does its embrace know that? does it know? .....Does it also feel like I feel?..

It never answers m/e and the rain stops and the flames aren't quenched but provided a unknown moistened hotness.


Blasphemous Aesthete said...

The lake and the beads of the necklace. I find a good use of metaphorical personality in this post.
But do tie up the two ends of the string sometimes, some beads make a lovely necklace.

Blasphemous Aesthete


Gives me the chill!!!

Great blog and thanks for dropping by on my blog DEFINITELY ME :)

Red Handed said...

That was rich....but i would love it if you change the font of your writings... maaybe the theme in itself. It makes a short post seem so big and dark..

Nice post :)

rivercat said...

i willjust steala movie's title:
A Beautiful Mind <3

Lila said...

You are such an amazing power express every little feeling... i wish i could write like you do... have been reading your blogs since a week now... i hav an exam tomorrow but i still wanted to read a piece of yours... Kudoos to a heart that can feel so much...