Happy New Year?

I craved to do so many things at once.My eyes opened and closed furiously.What should i do?Cause i cannot fix my mind and heart on a particular thing.Take deep breathes...1...2...3....This was all i could say to myself each moment.Repeating it like a mantra.I thought it would make me reach Nirvana in sometime.I was confused.I made sure that i won't cry this time when the clock struck 12 and there would be no call or message for me..to wish me a happy new year.I had someone special in my mind but that someone was busy that is what i concluded.Even he wasn't in the best of his moods.So when the clock struck 12 and i stared at my cell display which remained the same "Dark",after controlling myself for 15 minutes i could not take it anymore.I cried..the tears flowed and there was no sound coming out of me.At last i picked up my phone and called him at 12:45 a.m. and he was so distant.It hurt me all the more.I somehow hated my decision of calling him.From that day on i decided not to call anyone from myself.To save myself a heartache.

This is what happens with most of the people.But you know what as i always say on the eve of new year or sometime before new year don't go about thinking will he or she call or should i call.Pick up your phone,call that special someone make them feel happy and cherished.And if you can go to there place then just pick up your car or take a public transport to be there for them.Put a smile on there face and wish them a very happy new year.
I am really sorry.This is for the 5-6 people who have given me the leibester award and i haven't been able to pass it on by acknowledging them in a post.Will surely take them up soon and thank you so much for them.
Hope you had a nice year and even if it was a little bumpy i am sure it taught you something.How was yours?And always remember "whatever happens..happens for good."

With this thought wishing you all a very Happy New Year..

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Fade away . .

I can see the projection of light,

coming through something hollow.

The chilly wind flows by ,

but i can't feel it chilling me.

As i flowed through our memories,time melted like a long-slim candle stick would.I stopped at a point..What was it? Why is it so hard to remember beyond it.My mind wears a dark shroud..I think it is black in color.No light passes out.
I try to focus on something else.I can see a smoky ghost in front of me.It is crawling on the floor,ceiling...walls...it is trying to say something to me."Sorry" I mutter,"i don't know what you are saying".If only i could understand..but how would i..no one ever understood me..I don't know how it comes..now that i think..i never even understood myself.What do i do...the smoke is vanishing fast from in and around the ghost.It wants me to save it.How do i do it? As i look around the room to find something to help it..him..her..i don't know..just help.My eyes fall on the mirror.I can see a flickering light but it won't last long..wait i see something more...A shriek echoes as though someone has ripped out a living beings heart and broken their soul in innumerable pieces.

It is me..the ghost is me..the shriek is mine..And i watch myself fade away..

Sweet surprise

She stared the blue sky sitting at the beach.It wasn't sunny neither was it very chilly.Fairly pleasant wind was blowing as she was patiently waiting for him to arrive.Today has to be an important day,no it is an important day for her.She had been waiting for so long to pop this question to him.It did not matter if she was the girl in their relationship and he was the guy and the story should have been reverse.She was happy to take the initiative,if you want something you ought to ask for it.The wind ruffled her skirt and she continuously smoothed them.She had worn his favourite dress today.A black colored long skirt with crimson colored top.She had tied her hair loosely leaving some strands to linger on her face giving her face a soft hue.Her lips shined as she had decided on a strawberry gloss and had lined her eyes with kajal.

                                       **********************

He was so confused today.Why was he behaving so,he had not given much of a thought earlier to what he wore but today it was different.Something told him to put on his best clothes.So he decided on a faded blue jeans and figure hugging black t-shirt.Leaving his black hairs to fall down simply which made his chocolate colored iris to shine brightly.He was late in deciding about what to wear but he knew she would wait.She had been always patient when it came to him.

                                      *************************

As he approached near the entrance of the beach,he could see from far away,she was sitting there gazing the sky.Today the beach wasn't crowded that much.He neared her slowly and patted her on back.She turned back,her face was a sight so beautiful that he was captivated.As she shyly said Hie,he emerged from his spellbound state.

Hie.How long have you been waiting for me?

A little bit but you came fairly early.

He chuckled hearing her response which made her blush.

So we have the whole day.What are we going to do?

For starters tell me why are you so late?

Well that i can't really tell you but ask me anything else.You know i would tell you anything.

Okay.You know what you are looking really handsome.

You yourself are looking beautiful my dear.

He gave her a hand and she took it to stand up.It was around 11:00am in the morning.She had come to this other city specially to meet him.And this special visit of hers was what made him predict that there was something she was planning on.They walked on the sea-shore hand in hand.He was hungry that she knew and could make it from his behaviour so she pulled on his hand which made him look right at her.

Yes my dear.

You haven't had anything from the morning isn't it?

Ah! Yes.Do you want to go some place to eat?

She shook her head and from her bag she produced a tiffin showing it to him.He smiled at her.She spread a sheet and sat,patting the other side in front of her.He sat down.

Always ready as ever Sneha.

Only for you and with you Paarth that you know.

As she opened the tiffin,he was happy to see she had cooked his favorite.They ate while chatting about various things.Sharing a bite between them at times or he putting a bite in his mouth and he putting a bite in hers.He looked at her intently.And she exclaimed What?

You know you are going to tell me something.

Yes i am but why do you always know what i have in mind?

I don't know i can read you may be.

Okay now that you have broached this subject.Here.

She took out another box from her bag and opened the lid.There inside was placed a chocolate truffle cake.

Oh!For this cake.That is so sweet of you.

As he took the box from her and a spoon she offered,he plunged the spoon inside the cake.Scooping a piece he put the spoon to her mouth.She did not open her mouth.

This is for you.All of it.

Are you sure you are not going to have any?

Yes.

He ate half the cake at times looking at her with a naughty gleam in his eyes.Then he offered a spoon to her.She finally took the bite.And at that very moment she realized something.She motioned him to come near her and kissed him while the cake rested inside her mouth.He stopped all of a sudden opening his mouth he pulled out something.Watching his amused expression she started laughing.

What is..It is a ring.

She took it from him and said Paarth I love you so much and i want to spend the rest of my life sharing each day with you.Will you marry me?

He was speechless and he put his hand in front of her.

Is that a yes?

Of course.I want to marry you.

And she pushed the platinum ring onto his ring finger covered in chocolate.She was beyond happy that he had accepted her proposal.The platinum ring marking the event nicely.As she gave a promise to him in this form of ring to always be there for him and to cherish their relation forever just like platinum.He hugged her tightly.As they sat their hugged planning about their wedding they realized the sun was already setting.They watched the sunset mesmerized as the sky was painted in a pinkish orange hue holding each others hand......To hold on to each other forever..

It's you..

Endless nights of chatting,

with happy notes or sometimes agitated.

You believed in me to keep your secrets,

as even i disclosed some of mine.

Those brown orbs of yours captivate me.

Lips distract me from saying what i have in mind.

Long and artistic fingers entwined with mine.

Your soft singing in the silent night.

Here i smile,

though a sad smile cause i am missing you.

Hoping of dreaming about you tonight,

Dropping and rising in thoughts.

Every passing minute i hold you in, 

somewhere,sometime connected to moments.

Cherishing the times,

when i lay held in your arms tight.

Cause it is hurting..

It is a sudden urge arising inside you when you have not been given something. Something that the other person said you would be given but are not given and you have this ever growing fragile hope which grows strong with every passing second and after one fine moment you realize it was but said in the spur of the moment and you were stupid enough to believe it as a silent promise of there will be something more. Something more which the other person is not capable of giving to you.The stock to which has already been utilized and given to someone else.So there is no hope none at all for you.
And there is this  sudden urge to destroy everything around and within you. Every type of emotion clinging to you making you feel dizzy with the copious amount of dosage.Within is not a place easy to be reached so you focus on your surroundings for destrcution.

Removing everything good you liked or erasing things which you know deep down are so close to you. You just make them die cause you can’t bear to see them. You wait helplessly to let that urge and that awful feeling to subside. Sleep which was so easy some moments back becomes a hard task. Tossing and turning in bed and consoling yourself with stupid excuses and reasons. A step to destroy everything good and nice cause hope is a bad thing. It hurts you more than soothing. What is the point of expecting something which won’t ever happen? Submerging yourself in something whose future is already known to you to be painful? 
Seeking something from hollownes..you can dive inside a well which is fathoms deep and doesn't provide you with a ground to have a final fall.You will fly around in the darkness with a sight that is lost,will that is crumbled,efforts that are ruined and tears which are unshed.

And you murmur to yourself incessantly, waiting for the due sleep which would eventually come to you when it is already time to get up….to fall once again..

This black is making me think

painting my world and covering the colorful tints.

Tired..

She wore the dress he has seen her wearing the most.She was happy somedays back but not today.He said he will be there whenever she would need him.She had asked him,if he could please spare some time today to be with her on this very day.The reasons were not asked.Non-chalancy was evident in his voice and simply held on the phone he had said "no we cannot possibly meet.." 

Black lines streamed down on her cheeks as she wiped the tears each time a smudged trail inked a map of misery on her countenance.This is not fair she thought to herself.He got back on his words when she needed him the most.She did not give him any reasons as he did not simply want to get bothered further.She waited for the day to end.She could not wait up on him anymore.Hope was leaving her heart.She was tired...and she gave up.. 

Kaash tune jhaaka hota meri nazro mein

dekha hota meri rooh tak

Dard na sahi tujhe dikha

kambakht apne liye pyaar toh dekhta

Bringing back the smile

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 41; the forty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "SWEET AND SOUR"

I lie awake through the night,

passing every minute of coupled seconds.

To hear the stupid ramblings.

The hush-hush of your breath,

during the pause you decide to take.

For the repeated stories,

cause you forgot that you have told them to me already..

Flipping through the pages of the novel,she tried not to think about him.And how was that possible when she took up a romantic genre.Frustrated she plopped her head down on the open book.Why was it so hard for her mind and heart to work in harmony and say yes at the same proposition.He had said during last call that he was going out of the city for somedays.Yet she was looking at her cell every few seconds,checking if he had called.Tired of waiting she did what she could do the best.Dropping a text to him which he can reply to when he feels fine.Retyping it almost for ten times she hit the send button.An instant delivery report came back to her.Now she waited for his message.Now she laughed at her foolishness.Closing the book she tried to relax and get some sleep.

She blinked open her eyes checking the clock,it was 1 A.M.She peeked in to check whether there were any messages but her inbox still lay dormant.She was close to tears.And then started her monologue Can’t he spare one look at his mobile?And then can’t he just reply for once?At least he could give me a call that he reached…..

A number blinked on her screen,she did not pick it up because already she was riled up and it was 1 in the morning.This was no time to pick calls that too from an unknown number.The number flashed for some time and then again everything was quite.The eerie silence was successful in bringing her sleep back.

After ten days he called her up.She decided she would be blunt about everything and not reply straight.

Hello

What do you want?

Is this what you say as your first line?

Yes.Don’t you know? Oh! Yes how would you,you haven’t talked to me from fifteen days.

He started laughing on the other side.Which only fueled her anger.

Now go on laugh at me.

Who said I was laughing at you honey?

Of course you are.

Ok.Fine.I accept it.Happy?

No not happy.Couldn’t you just reply to my message or give me a call for so many days you were MIA.

Aww..

And now she started sobbing.

Please don’t cry baby.Okay I will tell you why I was laughing.You sounded like a baby while you were saying all those lines.And I called you from some other number when I had got your message but you did not pick it up.

Now she started giggling,hearing his serious tone while he was explaining himself.

Heyyy..not fair now you are laughing on me.

Hehehehehe..No no I was laughing at your tone.

And they both started laughing.Such was their sweet and sour relation.He teased her but made sure to bring back her smile.She knew his ways but still couldn't stop herself from getting played,and then eventually falling for his making up.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: XX

Bereft

He shook her voilently.Moving her face to look at his.
He-What happened?
She-Nothing.
He-Then why are you being like this?
She-Like what?
He-You are not responding to me.
She-Yes i am.
He-Where is your smile?
She-Right here.You are looking at it right now.
He was very angry with her by now.His patience was slowly slipping away as he could see her flash that fake smile.It only told him the damage was far too deep and done.
He-Why won't you answer me god-dammit!
She-That is what I said to you.You were too busy to notice.
And there was silence as tears streaked down her face.He stood there helpless..

Pain. .

She mistook it all from the very beginning.From the very start the lies were packaged in a sweetness which left no room for doubt.Every emotion he had shown or expressed had all been so fake.Now she realized what a deep grave she had dug for herself.Always thinking that whatever good he had said was for her or every mood or moment he described was for her to know.He had just made use of her nicely without letting her know so.It  all had been good when she had no attachment but when someone tells you something lovable don’t you grow a heart for them,well that is what happened to her.In the twilight she looked at the infinite sky with galore of twinkling stars and the moon,thinking about him.
The foolish she was she did not know what had she bargained her life for.The mistake had been done,she had committed her whole life to him.Giving every ounce of herself to him just so that she could see him happy.It dawned but pretty late that all was about him,is about him and will always be about him.
A picture she had seen with him,long desired in her heart  to be true.A hugging picture of a couple,how she wanted it to be her and him.She learned the truth of the picture which left her shattered beyond reconstruction.It was not her that he had in his mind while he looked at the picture but the other girl.Her heart she thought was being twisted and turned from inside as silent tears rolled down her cheeks.She did not know to whom she could turn to or how she could just ask him once.The night sky blurred and she despised the stars and the moon.
All the moments were so hurtful to remember,every word he had said was hard to hold on to.The trust was crumbling slowly.But she did not concentrate on that.Still she was thinking of how she could take away his pain while laying there inside the ruffled sheets besides him.Tangled together yet so detached.She had meant to ask him last night about what was eating him away.Now she knew what was it.That other girl was on her mind and the rest of the puzzle she did not want to assemble them.As scenes from the last night replayed in front of her eyes.....

---

He had been like an animal ravaging each inch and square of her body.She begged him to stop but all in vain.Tonight the pleasure had long surpassed and their she could feel all the pain throbbing throughout her body.As he awoke from the wild trance he realized what he had done to her.Rushing down from the bed in his naked glory he moved past the French doors and out.Tears streamed down her eyes, she was confused.She had known him for quite a long-time this is not how he is she thought.There must be something bothering him to draw him to such limitlessness.
Looking outside the misted glasses,she could make out the firm lining of his back bathed in the moonlight.Gathering strength she stood up slowly from her stupor .Tracing the way he had followed to go outside in the balcony.Enclosing her arms around him from the back,carefully resting her face on his shoulders.As the moist drops touched his back,he flinched.
Removing her arms from around him he turned back,cupping her face in his hands.She gazed at those long artistic fingers,as if all forgotten that had happened some moments ago. He moved her face to look at him.As she looked in his eyes,she could see them pleading  but for what she was clueless.And then she heard his soulful voice,softly nudging her insides as he said “how could you be still here comforting me?”

She gave her broken but yet serene smile bringing her one hand on his face and the other in his hair.After what seemed like eons she hushed “What is hurting you so bad?”

This one question had such an impact on him as he grabbed hold of her waist burying his face in the crook of her neck.Tiny sobs and sniffles accompanying a muffled voice.She held him tight with one hand and the other one caressing his hair.She was hurting physically but hearing him cry like this made her heart break even more.She desperately wanted to take that thing away which made him break so bad.
After quite a lot of time had passed he raised his head still holding her looking into her eyes with his bloodshot eyes.She ushered him inside the room .Lying down slowly on the bed she let him hold her,caressing him,kissing him all over his face and gently humming his favourite songs to him.His eyes were drooping as he held her face in them and finally surrendered to his sleep.Carefully cocooning him she closed her eyes as well,sleeping to have her answers in the morning.

*****

Maybe..

Maybe I am just a passing phase

Maybe I am just a random for you

Maybe I don't deserve love

Maybe I am just your lover

Maybe I tried to reach you

Maybe I was meant to be unheard

Maybe I am left bereft

Maybe I just want to hold you

Maybe I just want to be held

Maybe I failed

Tonight i cease to nothingness as my heart shrivels and my skin shivers.The candle flames hungrily feeding on my sanity.I feel so alone now that you are going away or its just my silly heart,expecting and hurting a little more.The day has ended,night is tearing me apart and i bleed.I am waiting..have waited for you so long.I am trying to hold on really tight the crumbling m/e like the burnt paper whose ashes are flying away.I will linger a bit more,breathe for a while.Hoping against hope for your arrival.The revelations to dawn upon you,stretching my arms wide to embrace you i shall wait for you.....

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मौत

चाहते थे अरसो से गले लगाना जिसे..

वह जब बेसाख्ता रूबरू होने को आई है.. 

फिर अब दहशत में क्यूँ लिपटे हैं ..

की कुछ चंद लम्हात गुज़र ..

हम होंगे मौत के आघोष में  ...

Image courtesy

ये रात!

ये रात की है तेरे नाम हमने, 

तू जो बोले वो सच माना है..

तेरी एक मुस्कुराहट के खातिर,

दुनिया बदली है अपनी आज के लिए..

खुश हूँ मैं तुझे देख के, 

खिलखिला रही है जो बे बात यूंही.. 

तेरी जुल्फों से खेलूँ,

तेरे गोद्द में सर रखू कभी,

कभी तू नाराज़ हो तो, 

चूम लूँ तेरे होंट यूंही..

बस रात भर तुझे देखूँ,

जबतक तेरी खुशबू का नशा, 

निगाहों को भारी न कर दे..

तुझे बाहों में समेट सौया रहूँ,

और हल्के से बोलूँ तेरे कानो में,

ये रात की है तेरे नाम हमने.. 

Image courtesy

P.S.-I have written it from a guy's perspective.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him - III

It was thundering today.The clouds were black engulfing the moon.At times it peeked through the walking clouds.Stars were not permitted tonight.She sighed longingly watching the starting drizzle.It pour mildly at first and then increased in its pace.The wind gave it random directions.She stepped out of the shade from where she was looking.Spreading her arms wide on either side she looked up.The soothing rain caressed her face as she closed her eyes.The cold wet drops were amazing.Her black t-shirt and cream shorts soaked in water in just matter of minutes.She spinned dizzily like a drunkard screaming wuhuuu...

As they entered his room she had known that clothes had no work on body.As she removed his vest almost instantly ,as her inner wears lay scattered around her feet.As he lay down,she rested herself upon him slowly.He pounced on her,kissing fervently.Void of the heat for so long she responded back passionately.He pulled her hairs and tugged her away from his mouth.She let out a involuntary moan,unhappy of the sudden break.As she opened her inebriated eyes,through her lashes she looked at him staring at her.A smile formed on her lips.All of a sudden she was beneath him as his lips tarvelled all over her kissing and licking.She writhed with pleasure.Her nails digging deep in his back.She heard the pitter patter of rains through all this as did he.They stopped and stood up naked.Holding hands as they parted the curtains from the window,they saw the rain together.She said in a low voice "I dream to kiss you while getting wet in rain".He laughed kissing her softly on her lips and said "Today it is not that strong,we will someday when it is raining heavily." As he said those words he ducked his head in the crook of her neck adorning it with wet kisses.Tumbling down on the bed once again...

She looked down now,folding her arms around her.Hugging herself she made way inside her room.Removing the wet clothes she lay there beneath the blanket.Wet yet warm from inside waiting through the incessant pitter patter to have it lull her to sleep.Rid her off her insomnia.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him - II

A page turned as the gentle breeze blew accompanying the night.She had switched off the lights of her room and kept the door ajar.Pale milky moonlight streamed through the space of the open door.Switching on the torch she had read the letter in front of her so many times.She could not get enough of it.Like a scent which you keep on breathing in as it never seems to sate you.All of a sudden she got up from her bed,making way towards the bag of clothes.Opening it slowly she picked out the jacket.

They had met after a longtime.While walking towards his house she had given her over-sized jacket to him.He had worn it,and she beamed at him happily because she was feeling really hot in it.The full blown winter has not yet set it.When she entered his room she could see how messy the room was as he hadn't got a chance to clean up after he had come back from a trip.Abandoning their clothes in a clean spot of the room they lied down on the bed.Both hugging as the warmth from each other seeped in and around them.A quilt blanketing them.He urged her to come up a little as he was taller than her.Tilting her head and angling his face he put his lips on hers softly.A gentle kiss followed by a bite on her lower lips.She gasped opening her lips.His tongue entered her mouth, rolling and teasing it with her tongue.Their bare bodies caressing each other.His hands kneaded and rubbed in places so secret that she moaned through the kiss.One of her hand rested on his back while the other kept ruffling his hairs in the heated moment of passion...

She opened her eyes breaking away from the memory and smelled the jacket in her hands.It smelled of him.Her ecstasy knew no bounds.As she placed it besides her head.Another night waited to be passed immersed in his fragrance.Her eyes quit to shut themselves up as the insomnia lingered in air yet again.

Insomnia:Thoughts of him

She looked at the curtains casting weird shadows in the dark.She has always been in love with dark though the realization had been a bit late.It always made her think about him.How she spent the time with him or talked with him on phone or simply lay there in his arms.She had been wriggly from someday,it was a weird feeling she could not pin point where or what or why.A insatiable urge to cry on and on.She missed the whispers,kisses,hugs,sweet nothings,care,joy and et al. She imagined the last time she had met him.It was beautiful,words were too less to describe the feeling.Entangled within each others embrace covered slick with sweat smelling of hunger and desire.Body stroking with body,the night breeze blew softly through the thick summer coat.The way his stubble felt while he peppered her with kisses from face to neck.Hands caressing each other.Breathes resuscitated and dropped with the torturous touches.Teasing with every move.

The physical separation and emotional need were too much for her to bear that she realized while thinking all this.Whenever she was alone,she only thought about him.The veil of darkness kept her secrets and clandestine meetings intact. Harboring them safely in the shapes of clouds,stars and the moon.And she smiled one last time.Tears streamed down her face and she lay there with open eyes fighting with the insomnia.

Image courtesy

The cheat

Dimming the lights he pulled her close to him.The pheromones activated all of a sudden inside her body.Something was not right she felt but the love and lust had already crafted their way inside her.She let him tame her with the beastly aftermath of a hungry kiss.The night filled with unbridled love making.

In morning his phone buzzed Aalia still sleeping over him.He placed her aside and got up. Answering the phone to Leo he said "the passion film is already a hit online".A thunderous laugh echoed on the other side.Adi left her in the hotel room wiping every trace of his existence.

Twisted rejection

The lush green grass,the beautiful flowers of different colors and the patient night sky adorned with stars and moon.All were looking disheartening and sad to her.Her mind was reeling from what she had heard some days back,though it felt just moments ago.The perspiration was dropping and dripping from her forehead.The clothes that she wore cling to her drenched body.She pushed herself though her feet ached and she knew the consequences of it tonight won't be good when she would lie down on bed.But hell who cared she for now wanted that suppressed anger to drip down with the sweat.It was giving her peace to gulp air in plenty through her open mouth and exhale plenty.The adrenaline rush it gave distracted her mind for sometime.She was jogging in that huge park which she once thought would never be possible for her.After all anger and grief makes you do things you thought you would never do.
The bitter hurt that stuck to her.He did not make it obvious,wrapped it up in a sweet disguise.It pained when she heard those words of twisted rejection.It shot through her spine triggering her mind just to make all the thoughts halt on his words.Everyone cannot wield the power of hurting you just like that.When you put in the trust and blind faith in the picture it makes complete sense.She fucking devoted her life in him just to be rejected one fine day.It was too late to move on or turn back.She had to choose between living with memories or cut out the life with him that was.How can one think of pulling out a heart and still to live.The fix was unbearable she wanted him as much as one needed oxygen.Her only lifeline had been him.
But her mind chided and mocked her "Your heart has been shattered so that you get to give it to no one else ever".Her legs felt like jelly and she thumped on the ground all of a sudden.Covering her face in her hands she cried,not knowing what else could ease her pain.

Lost identity

They told her to trust them,she did.

They said they'll be there when the times are grey,she believed.

They told her they were saying the truth to her,she strived.

But a time came and she was standing there in the cold,

the rain was pouring so heavy and ruthless.

She looked back to find the trusted one but there was no one.

Silence emblazoned all around.

She wept till the tears ran dry.

No one held her in their arms.

No one cared for her but themselves.

No one caressed her and assured time ahead will be kind.

They had lied straight to her face and she lay there crumpling alone.

Scattering with every drop that hit her.

Breathing was laborious,but she breathed till

She wasn't what she was anymore!

Can't you understand me?

At times you are talking with someone on phone or face to face and you want them to understand.Now the question is what do you want them to understand.Some might think that whatever is being talked about..well yes..some might think what is the state of the talker..well yes again..But what i am going to talk about is understanding what a person is expecting in the core of their heart.
People who have known each other for longtime know the other persons activities,reactions and habits.So based upon that after a while they hint whatever they want from the other person but yet that doesn't come.What makes a person change so much that they forget to do something which was so very normal.
A conversation would make you understand better,here it goes:

Known for about an year
"He-Hey
She-Hie
He-You know my day was so adventurous today.I did a lot of fun stuffs and learnt new things.
She-Nice.Even i had a fun day.
He-So what were you doing?
She-Completing some work and thinking about you.
He-Wow! Even i was thinking about you.I am missing you.
She-Aww..I wish we could meet."

The guy knew the girls motive was to know if he felt the same about her like she did(the missing thing).

After 3 years
Mind you they still talk nicely and the relation is maintained steady.
"He-Hie
She-Hello
He-Did you read the newspaper today?
She-Yeah.I know right you are talking about the 'Words' topic written there.
He-Exactly! It is so amazing.
She-I know.You know i was thinking about you.
He-Ok! So how is everyone at home?
She-They are doing good.You know i missed you.
He-I see.
She-What were you doing?
He-Nothing much.Was just reading the article."

Now here you see she tried hinting him so many times to know if he felt the same way.But he won't budge.Once if this happens is sort of understandable.What would you think when this repeats again and again whenever you try?
At times it happens with me too that i want someone to understand what i want but they don't even seem to consider let alone think about it.
Change is fine but what if it leads to a person so void of understanding?

Image courtesy

Captured..

Gleaming eyes told him a different story.He smiled and said hey you look happy today.Sitting in a coffee shop with him every time they met wasn't new to her.She hated coffee when she was with him this she could not tell him.She blinked two-three times and gazing at his beautiful face she said i always am when i am with you.He pouted his lips and said really?

She just giggled.The comprehension of a relationship between them was hard.It was sometimes love,spice,fun,wild but never hatred.Despising wasn't something that came easily to both of them at least for each other.
In between the small chit-chats they shared weird secrets.At ease with each other.
She blinked twice and captured the moment.Saying in her heart "Here goes in memories my chance at forever".

55 Fiction:Lie..

I have given you my word.Don't you trust me on it?
She did not raise her wet hazel eyes to meet his.
He pulled her by the chin and said Look at me.
Why should i trust you?
Because...
This is not the first time you lied to me about i being your priority.....

I feel. .

I bled through to the flickering present.

Feeding myself to flames of test.

Grabbing on to the thread that joins; 

me and you to the fatal world.

Hope their is but no one knows.

Love their is but no one feels.

And i shall live on just to get the last touch.

With the trust that was never meant to be.

"And i mistook a intense infatuation to be a emotion of love.."

Book Review:Men On My Mind

Title:Men On my Mind
Author:Radha Thomas
Genre:Fiction,Chick-lit
Year of publication:2012

My first time in the sphere of reviewing a book and I start my journey with a book by Radha Thomas.

Characters unfurling in the beginning are The mom,step dad, younger brother and The aunt(The mom and The aunt being the prominent).Then slowly enter all the men on her mind plus the BFF’s to share the encounters with.

When she was residing in Mumbai her time was spent in boarding school which was St. Luke’s all-girls convent interspersed with vacations.There in the neighborhood was St. Paul’s-all boys convent where she encountered her first man(boy actually she and he were in their teenage life).Jasmine Patel her first BFF helped her pass letters to Darren Walsh(the guy) with the help of her brother who happened to be studying in St. Paul’s.Then luckily one day a Co-ed social was announced which meant that they had two hours of socializing with the boys.Wearing her best dress possible by borrowing here and there she finally met her guy.But all her dreams and hopes shattered as soon as the boy spoke to him as it fell upon that he had a voice similar to woody woodpecker or better yet Barry Gibb.

Then entered second BFF Fleur after she discovered that jasmine had no knowledge of real men.The mom magically agreed to let her spend three nights at Fleur’s house during the vacation.Johnny(20 years old and Fleur’s brother) while making her learn how to play guitar stole her first kiss.While during time spent outside with fleur on beach she encountered Sunil who invited her to a bar.After the vacations were over and they were back in school she managed two timing with Johnny as well as Sunil sending and receiving love letters.Fleur  knew about Sunil but Johnny was a secret to her.When the secret tumbled out they were BFF’s no more.Fluer ratted out to both about her and thus ended the letters.Rest of her year spent in school were without BFF’s,boyfriends and love letters.As she graduated from school she was informed by her mother that they were moving to Delhi.She was happy beyond words.

In Delhi inside a club Touch she encountered with her third BFF Leena. Touch became and integral part of her life as she spent time with Leena in there.Leena was a regular and knew the band performing there.There she encountered the DJ  then a violin player in the band.She also sang in their band.She got into college but due to the company she had she didn't really concentrate on studies and flunked big time.Mean while the aunt had got married to a Professor named Max in new York.

 She landed in New York worked with her aunt in the store while trying to find a way to get near guys but the aunt had strict instructions from the mom so it was impossible.Enter the violin player in scene again who came to New York to perform and got to be the first man to finally give her a firsthand experience of sex.

She finally decided to work braving the area of travel and tourism where she had numerous experiences found herself another BFF Kristen(Shas).Shas and she had many adventures together in China.Upon return to New York she had her time with many other guys and realized in the meanwhile that she has still to encounter her Mr. Right.

The book had a peculiar starting and then slowly turning into something interesting.The author has used The mom(for mother) and The aunt(for aunt) very effectively never naming the characters ever.My favorite lines from the books were these: “In the Garden of Eden,Martin’s Gonzo was a bonsai.” I don’t like the beginning much because it feels a tad bit drag.

It  tells you about what a woman desires with her little fickle-head.And a personal individual take on possibly every type of man.If you like little bit of humour and light read in between your  schedule then this is surely a book to catch upon.

So did she or didn't she find her Mr. Right?

Read Men On My Mind by Radha Thomas to find out!

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